Bloody bastard.

Verily, thou art.

If thine own charms woulds't not deliquesce my pow'rs,
       mayhaps my quill
woulds't obey my


Yet ~ evermore ~ am I slave

to thy smirks

and provocations

...both vexations to me.

I turn 'round,
but come back

                       time again.

(Provoking my ire.)




(bloody bastard.)

Thou've been a naughty swain.
Get thee to my rooms.

Have you put a spell on me?
Am I tips?


Drubk texting is for the bus.

Bird s.

Good lord.

Yeah. Foxy.

Are. Foxy, nor dodgy.


G'night! Not focus!



the fire the burns the scraping away
the meat the pink the bruises
the coals the blood the artery
the pulsing the rhythm the dirt
the hallucinations the strangling the hold
the unbearable the rust the nails
the vomit the pulling the heat
the pumping the stretching the lips
the fucking the magic the death
the waste the freak the wild
the wings the mess the struggle
the danger the light the nobility
the limits the explorer the calm
the unruly the time the definition
the orgasm the pain the cutting
the lie the tremble the sweet
the words the smoke the eyes
the grasping the want the now

So many people, so many moments, so many memories. Or maybe it's all my imagination. Or something I once heard...a story somebody once told me...

my morning blush, which fathers a star, brings the childlike ghost of


nononononononononononononono IF nononononononononononononononono
nonononononononono I’D nonononononononononononononononononononono
nonononononononononono­nonono KNOWN nononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononononononono­nono IF nononononononononono
nononononononononononononono  I’D nononononononononononononononono
nonononononono THOUGHT nononononononononononononononononononono
nononononononononononono­nono BUT nonononononononononononononono
nonononononononononononononononono­ THE nonononononononononononono
nononononononononononononono WORD nononononononononononononono
nonononono SHOULD nononononononononononononononononononononono
nononononononononono­nononono HAVE nonononononononononononononono
nonononononononononononononononono­nono BEEN nononononononononono
nononononononononononononono ENOUGH nonononononononononononono
nonono WHERE nonononononononononononononononononononononononono
nonononononono­nonononononono DID  nonononononononononononononono
nonononononononononononononon­onononononononononono I nononononono
nononononononononononononono GO? nonononononononononononononono
nononononononononono EVERY nononononononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononono­ TIME?  nononononononononononononono
nonononononononononononononon­ononononononononononononono THERE
nononononononononononononono IS nononononononononononononononono
nononono NEVER nononononononononononononononononononononononono
nononononononono­nononononono A nonononononononononononononononon
nononononononononononononononon­ononono SCENARIO nononononononono
nononononononononononononono WHERE nononononononononononononono
nononononononononono THIS nonononononononononononononononononono
nonononononononononononono­no WOULD nononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononononononono­no BE nonononononononononono
nononononononononononononono OKAY.  nononononononononononononono
nono I nonononononononononononononononononononononononononononono
nonono­nonononononononononono DIDN’T nononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononononononono­nononono ASK nonononononono
nononononononononononononono FOR nonononononononononononononono
nonononononono IT nonononononononononononononononononononononono
nonononononononono­nonononono THE nonononononononononononononono
nonononononononononononononononono­nono CLOTHES nononononononono
nononononononononononononono AREN’T nononononononononononononono
nonononono AN nonononononononono nononononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononono INVITATION nononononononononononono
nononononononononononononono nonononononononono POWER.  nononono
nononononononononononononono DOES  nononononononononononononono
no IT nonononononononononononononononononononononononononononono
nonono­nonononononononononono FEEL nonononononononononononononono
nonononononononononononononononono­nononono GOOD? nonononononono
nononononononononononononono ALL nonononononononononononononono
nononononono THAT nonononononononononononononononononononononono
nonononononononono­nonononono POWER? nonononononononononononono
nonononononononononononononononononono­nononononono GUILT nonono
nononononononononononononono FOR nonononononononononononononono
nononon ME onononononononononononononononononononononononononono
nononononon­onononononononono BLAME nononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononono nonononononono FAULT nonononononono
nononononononononononononono WHOSE nononononononononononononono
nonononononono FAULT? nonononononononononononononononononononono
nonononononononononono­nonono MUST  nononononononononononononono
nonononononononononononononono­nonononono BE nononononononononono
nononononononononononononono MINE.  nononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononono ­ THIS nonononononononononononononono
nonononono WILL nononononononononononononononononononononononono
nononononononono­nononononono NOW nonononononononononononononono
nonononononononononononononononono­nonononononononono BE nononono
nononononononononononononono A nononononononononononononononono
no PART nononononononononononononononononononononononononononono
nononono­nononononononononono OF nononononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononononono­nononononono ME. nonononononono
nononononononononononononono FOREVER. nonononononononononononono
nononononononononono THE nonononononononononononononononononono
nonononononononononononono­no GHOST nononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononononononono­nononononononono THAT nonono
nononononononononononononono BREATHES nononononononononononono
nonononono THE nononononononononononononononononononononononono
nononononononono­nononononono SURGEON nonononononononononononono
nonononononononononononononononononono­nonono THAT nonononononono
nononononononononononononono FORCES nononononononononononononono
nononononononono THE nononononononononononononononononononononono
nononononononononono­nononono BLOODY nononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononononononono­nono PULP nonononononononono
nononononononononononononono OF nononononononononononononononono
SHAME nononononononononononononononononononononononononononono
nononono­nononononononononono INTO nonononononononononononononono
nonononononononononononononononono­nonononononononononononono ME
nononononononononononononono OVER nonononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononono AND nonononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononono OVER nonononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononono AND nonononononononononononnononono
nononononononononononononono OVER nonononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononono AND. Nonononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononono FOREVER. nonononononononononononono

I'd been thinking about writing this poem for a while, and when the media was so concerned over the rapists' future and not the victim (Steubenville), I decided I should stop jotting down random thoughts and actually write it. We keep hearing the term "rape culture." Here's a victim's viewpoint...and remember that this victim could be your mother, your sister, your grandmother, your best friend, your girlfriend, your wife, your child.

I'm pleased with it, but am frustrated that I couldn't get all the NOs to be perfectly aligned! Ah, well.

P.S. The subject is hidden (not too well) in the title.

I have spent




hiding my tears from everyone.

I discovered today that

                                           even when alone

(not a human soul in sight)

                                i hide from myself.

(i cover my face

          and turn away)

Realizations. Discoveries. Trying to stay Happy and Strong for too long.

P.S. I was crying over my dog. I had made the decision to say goodbye. A poem will eventually come about her and me and us...but I have a tough time really digging into my soul, so that may be a long time in coming.

You want to know what I want?

       A proper date.
    Flowers. Not always. Once every few months is fine.
  To be wooed, courted a bit.
Gooooooood sex. Bodies drenched and flushed.
A Damn Fine Kiss. (Suddenly gathered in someone's arms in the middle of the street.
   The kind that leaves you breathless, panting, and needing more.)
     A good cuddle on the sofa during THE WALKING DEAD.
       Hours of intellectual conversation as foreplay.

You want to know what I get?

Hanging out with friends.
    Pictures of flowers sent to my Facebook inbox.
      Someone letting me know they're quite keen on me, but only until I show an interest back.
        Half-hearted whatever-the-hell that's supposed to be.
           Lazy kisses where the mind wanders.
        Forcing my dog to cuddle during walker attacks.
     Having to explain what "Beware the Ides of March" means. Among too many other things.
   Mind games.
And secret messages so their wives don't see.

I get creepsters
married men
people from out of town/state/country who fancy me.

That last one's not bad, mind you. Just not very possible.

So if you're keen...
ask yourself...

...which one of those categories do you fall under?

Feeling bitchy today. It happens. I just don't usually voice it...certainly not in public.
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