With a step and a tear
I confront uncertainty and fear
A second that felt like many years
I here the whisper of goodbyes in my ears

Long has this moment been coming
But only now do I start questioning
Seeing all the little things and wondering
How can this be right?
When everything is ending
When all thru the night
I’m kept awake by the feeling

Like a king that lost everything
Like a mother that lost a child
I scream in vain to the sky
With nothing but solitude on my side

Suddenly left alone without an ally
I want to break down and cry
But instead I stand here and lie
Holding it inside, can’t say goodbye

Pretending that I am okay
Fooling everyone but myself
This truly is the longest day
Constantly at the brink of tears
Can’t say I didn’t know I’d feel this way
So I keep running, till it all disappears

Eventually I’ll have to stop running
Eventually I’ll have to stop escaping
Eventually I’ll have to give it time to fall on me
Eventually the ground I stand on will fade to shadow
Eventually the sky will fall to ashes
The sea of past fire will drown in tears

The sun is getting low
The shadows are starting to grow
These times are passing so slow
The ground cold and white with snow
This cold is so lonely, where did it all go
The sunny days when she would glow
Those moonlit nights seem like a distant echo

I miss the days the ocean would kiss the sand
Frozen, it seems the love has been put on hold
In its place a desert with nothing to share but the cold
Lost and shivering I need to find something warm
Wrap me in your blanket, bring back that feeling
Make these moments, times worth saving
Because I need you to start the healing

I need a lover, a friend
Someone to put this misery to end
A reason to believe in tomorrow
A way to fill this hollow
A direction to follow
Because today I walk these streets alone
A single row of footsteps in the snow

You must be hiding somewhere out of sight
Just like in the dead of the cold night
Somewhere I know the sun is shining bright
Out there I know you’re the one to make things right

Caught in the concrete of time
I’m waiting for an angel’s light to shine
Sitting here frozen like the ocean
Reminiscing of the warm sand
Remembering when an angel held my hand
Those days are gone, fallen like the leaves

I need a lover, a friend
Someone to put this misery to end
A reason to believe in tomorrow
A way to fill this hollow
A direction to follow
Because today I walk these streets alone
A single row of footsteps in the snow

As the grass starts to show
When rivers rediscover their flow
A new hope found, watching it all grow
Waiting for you to bring a new glow
Appearing from the melting snow

One day the sun will climb
Stay in the sky for a long time
On that day will you walk with me hand in hand
Create a past with footsteps in the sand
Till then I walk these streets alone
A single row of footsteps in the snow

My head is hurting
From all the wondering
How can I go on
After everything is gone
One by one the links break
The picture disappears
So do the fears
Overwhelmed I’m numb

Thru life I will wonder
Down the path of failure
A foot before the other
Going on with no care
A destination with no one there
But a voice says it isn’t fair

Suppressing, can’t face the healing
Running, cause it’s not worth staying
Careless, nothing is worth saving
Living cause its not my time for dying

Feeling so empty
Yet it’s so heavy
But deep inside I hear the voice
The voice that doesn’t give up
The eyes that don’t recognize the man in the mirror
The heart trying to beat thru the clutter

A part wants to get better
But I see no reason to try harder
Unmotivated, why should I go further
Nothing left from the past
The future seems even dimmer

Thru life I will wonder
Down the path of failure
A foot before the other
Going on with no care
A destination with no one there
But a voice says it isn’t fair

As it cries out its last whisper
Just before it drowns within
Something happens there’s a glimmer
Just a spark to light the dark
But it catches, it explodes
In an instance I’m lost in the flames

I wake to the sound of a voice
The words are my own
The whisper is now laughter
The lost has been found
The veil has been burnt to the ground
Saved by that sound

It’s coming near
It’s the end and it’s never been so clear
My time wasted and lost in the years
Could wash it all away in tears
But the truth forever lies in this fear

The past as long since taken future
The path is narrowing not much left to capture
Running out of colors to add to this picture
Desperately trying to complete this adventure
The questions of what could have been are my torture
Got to make things right before my mind fractures

Living every day like my last
But the pace is just to fast
Opportunities are crumbling into the past
The hole inside is just too vast

In the face of the unavoidable
As I stand ready to lose it all
This world becomes so alien
A new perspective on the familiar
As though a life of dilution as found purity
No longer lost in the pursuit, the blur is lifted
With no where left to go the destination becomes real
A moment of life’s true form
Not felt since the first opening of the eyes
A moment of pondering
Wondering if it was just a cycle
The clock ticking down to a renewal

Surrounded by all I’ve known
I know my next step will be alone
In these last moments I have grown
No longer scared, the light is shown

As the door behind closes
The door beyond opens
But there is a split second
A moment of emptiness
A judgment of self by self
A lifetime condensed in an instant
A spec of time that will change eternity

Beyond the doors of the unknown
The choice remains yours
Carry the past beyond the sacred stone
Or leave it behind to let your soul soar

With the beginning of the end
Comes a feeling of belonging
As if this end was but a turn
An end that brought a beginning
The start of what was always meant to be
Making this the end of the beginning

It’s become too much
The glass is full

What do you do?
When your heart isn’t were it belongs
When your feelings are no longer as strong
When you know your lies won’t last long
When you think your ok but couldn’t more wrong

With every drop I’m over flowing
Under its weight I’m drowning

What do you do?
When you feel you can’t go on
When the past is far from being gone
When you must let go to the brightest of dawns
When your painting isn’t what you’ve drawn

Can’t keep pretending, can’t go on
When all your is right is my wrong

I don’t want to let this all go
It’s the path I want to follow
But my denial is cutting me from bellow
I can’t hide from the secrets lurking in my shadow
As if the pain wasn’t enough to swallow
The truth will bring her to sorrow
All of this with no guaranty of a brighter tomorrow

Wrapped in confusion
Why can’t I resist change?
My head is spinning, it’s so insane

My heart craves the impossible
Makes my attempted happiness crumble
Until its needs fulfilled I’ll be unstable
Forever it’ll make me peruse the unattainable

What goes up must come down
Nothing stays buried forever
Everything changes but stays the same
It’s just the circle of life
You can fight but your only fighting yourself

So I’m walking on a fence knowing
Whatever side I fall on I will be hurt
May as well face the pain now
Before I get pushed to the ground

I feel it beating in me
Silencing my heart it’s emerging from the deep
Making its way from the core to my extremities
It’s trying to take control of my body
Suppressing it is my daily struggle

Where did this come from?
What planted the seed?
I didn’t do anything to create it
No reason for this uprising
Yet it shows no signs of subduing

Its voice most would call evil
It’s the so called devil within
Thought that it is cynical
Its ways have been deemed criminal
Its philosophy unethical
But that image must crumble

Where holding on too tight
When the grip is too tense
The content will explode
Where fighting it to hard
When cornered its stronger
We’ve gone too far too fast
Putting on an ever lasting charade
With no foundation everything fall’s apart

These chains intertwined
Trying to conserve self preservation
Struggling to improve the perfect
We have brought on our own demise

The night to this day is coming
The full moon is rising
The fight is intensifying
Exhausted I’m losing
Under the pressure reason is smashed
Chains are broken the human is out
Free to feel, to love, to hate, to rage
This freedom labeled insanity

Will you help me, I’m searching for stability
Can’t keep riding this rollercoaster for the rest of eternity
Been thrown onto this ride with a head full of uncertainty
Through the sharp turn, the ups, and the downs I must find an identity
All my struggles and success’s gathered knowledge but came up empty
I’m on rails no matter how hard I fight the road controls me
Pull me off the rails make this ride end abruptly
I’ll gladly lie on the side lines and watch my former insanity
Round and round covering the same thing for infinity

“Hello what’s your name, thank you for saving me
Why did you do it, help me and risk all that is free
You could’ve joined me unintentionally
So grateful for your selfless act of bravery
I must ask why, not out of fear of dishonesty
Your intentions where honorable surely
I must know to satisfy my curiosity”

Stupefied she answered that I was the hero to be
She told me that one day I would open my eyes and see
My eyes feel open she doesn’t know what I’ve seen obviously
She’s to happy and stable she’d never comprehend my story
She smiled and said “I cannot imagine such treachery
But one day you will see that place as heavenly”
Almost enraged but I was to intrigued to be angry
She doesn’t know how I once hurt so deeply

Her presence was enough to fill the emptiness in me
Her compassion made me shine ever so brightly
I loved her far past my gratitude, yet I felt I was hers to carry
She still maintained I was the hero that I was just not ready
I feared she was just trying to stop me from feeling guilty
Though having her to care so much made me lucky
I didn’t want her to keep acting so modestly
I tell her she need not hide the true reality
I know she was the reason I was now acting so strongly
Once again uninfluenced she said to me in a tone so genuinely
“My love, stick to your opinion but we all have our theory”

I now live a life so wonderfully steady
Nothing to tell me otherwise, I’m always happy
I never get knocked down, not even rarely
She took the clouds from the sky now it’s always sunny
But there is an emptiness hiding underneath the glory
On top of the world I feel like I’m unworthy
Without the downs the highs feel so empty
I finally see how I was living life so blindly
I must return to my ride that was my insanity
I can’t bring her she’s such a joyful lady
I show her my first tears and tell her I’m leaving with my heart heavy
She smiles at my teary eyes she had foreseen this destiny
“Now you know how it feels, to be without adversity
Will you be my hero and ride the rollercoaster with me”