I try to remain calm
Simple conversation fuels curiosity
My focus is acute
I want to be reckless
I attempt to seem distant
I am hiding
Like a predator circling prey
I am waiting
Leaping prematurely could be costly
My hunger justifies risk
I want to be reckless
Outside influences
Compel me to behave appropriately
I am screaming
Secrets disguised with lies
I am hunting myself
I want her exposed
For I am exposed
I am vindictive
I want to pull and rip
S+rip her of shame
I am burning
I want to take her in front of the world
I want to be reckless

© Christopher Chronister. All rights reserved

Friendship requested and accepted
Avoidance seems more accurate
Constantly, I see her green dot
Excitedly, I begin to type
Benevolently, she sends a message
Openness has given way to casualness
Obsessively, I cling to words
Knowing the outcome, I profess my feelings

Nervously, I await the check mark
Ever so eager for a response
Ritualistically, I keep reading my message
Voyeuristically, I scroll through her page
Obsession has me trembling
Uncertainty controls my mind
Stop is the one word response
Namesakes who cannot talk
Excessively, I look at old pictures
Silent cries are what remain
Seeing her online breaks my heart

© Christopher Chronister. All rights reserved

Dear father please drink
Then you may say
That you have lost your way
More importantly, the ability to think
Excessive amounts of wine
Will make this all seem fine
You can deal with regret the next day
Still holding the excuse you need
Permission granted to plant the seed
Now shadow and man align
We were offered as a sacrifice
For hopes and dreams of paradise
It is us that you mislead
But let us continue and we shall stay alive
An extra turn as three becomes five
We are no angels and we will pay the price
The price of loving you dear father
Many moon gifts to you we honor
If we cannot be angels to you then we will strive
To make our very own
So we will not be left alone
Love your daughters

© Christopher Chronister. All rights reserved

Exposing myself despite feeling fear
The cold night air is intoxicating
Conversation builds as frights disappear
The heart skips knowing what I’m awaiting

Dancing together the world seems to halt
Hand within hand and eyes locked as we kiss
This amazing free spirit I exalt
Tomorrow this night I will greatly miss

The night comes to an end with a soft touch
I want to freeze time stopping this car clock
These tender touches lead to yearning much
Your beauty creates feelings to unlock

After those brief moments of elation
I am longing for continuation

© Christopher Chronister. All rights reserved

With very few people out there speaking
It makes me wonder how many have prayed
Forgiveness is what I will be seeking
For the apathy that I have displayed

So many have fallen, some who were teens
But after all, death is so depressing
I continue with my daily routines
With the emotions I am suppressing

Now I feel like I am being hunted
I have become prey to my moral sense
With ghosts of the dead I am confronted
That I am uninvolved is a pretense

Thousands die as I watch a news story
My conscience hunts and I am the quarry


© Christopher Chronister. All rights reserved,

Pulling on wings
Slowly and delicately
I hear the screaming
Expressing my fears
I continue to pull
This hurts me
I hear the crying
My sadness is appreciated
This enables me to continue
I am feeding myself
I want to cut deep
I need this
Contradictions are my life
Duality defines me
I want to hurt you immensely
I want to be the only one
The only one who can heal you
I need you to love me
I am slowly dying
I want you to bleed with me
But I will feel guilty
I have pain to give
I will always try to hurt you
I will always love you!

© Christopher Chronister. All rights reserved