5 hours of sleep in 2 days

can't sleep more than 30 minutes
at a time

...wearing your hoodie...

keep jerking awake and checking phone frantically

thinking i'll see you or hear from you

even though i changed numbers and took social media hiatus

i miss you so much

im not living

this isnt living

im sick

Can't stop thinking how someone is gonna invite you out on st pattys and you're gonna **** someone.  God why can't my brain *******.

I keep torturing myself
with scenarios of you kissing
someone new and her touching the hair on your chest.
I think of your first day without a thought of me and feeling the excitement of a new beginning.
I see you looking at her with more love than you showed me. I see you learning from my pain to treat her better and show her more affection.
What I'd do to trade bodies
with your next girl...

I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
I'M SO SORRY.
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
I ******* LOVE YOU, JORDAN.

I can't stop pacing
around the kitchen and
into my room, back and forth.
It's taking everything I have
to not start using again.
Feeling the aches of my heart
and the strain on my sanity...
I just want to touch you
one more time
then rewind
and press play
for the rest of my life.
Literally, the rest of my life.

Everything is connected through love.
My girlfriends went out and I joined and all they did was talk about someone named Cato, which is your dog's name. Never have I ever heard of that name until your dog and you're telling me someone is going to rave about that name all ******* night the day after I go a state away.  Cosmic *******.
I get it, Universe.

I'm pathetic...
All I do is talk about you like you're still mine...
"*** bf would do that"
Who am I kidding
I did this to myself