Just a matter of time,
my depression will win.

life is a teenage boy.
every day it breaks my heart.
every day is a fight out of bed.
every day i wonder if i'm worth being faithful to...if i am a prize...if i'll always be the prettiest.

life is my mother;
abusive and loud,
vein and possessive.
one day life wants to hug me
and then pushes me hard.
life wants a storm every
other day because life collects my tears for fun.

life is me wishing you understood
how much i love you but realizing actions are important.
life is dealing with the truth that you're afraid of me.
life is me having to put in effort while having a weight so heavy and so invisible...on my chest.

life isn't about me.
my life isn't about me.
my life is not about me, at all.

I'm never going to miss someone as much as I miss you right now.
I never want any less than greatness in your life.
I don't believe I am that greatness.
I want you more than you could comprehend.
....But this pain mixed with our love....
I can't watch myself **** you.
Is that selfish?
Probably....knowing me....
I love you...either way.