Ignore them. Intruding thoughts come to you in the night, do not act on them. Push them away. Pretend you haven't thought them. Because they are just thoughts, they cannot ruin you. As long as you don't let them. Change your way of thinking and you can change your life. Don't let negative thoughts control you, learn to control them.

2. Eat. Eat regularly and eat well. When you've eaten too much do not force your fingers down your throat. Do not deprive yourself of the most basic survival need. Food is not going to **** you, but your eating disorder will. You are worthy. You are beautiful.

3. Learn to love yourself. Its all you can do in this world full of pain. You have this body for your whole life, you cannot be violating it with so much hate. I know how hard it is, but if you want to get by, this is the most important thing. You need to love yourself. Because you're worth it.

4. Enjoy the little things. Look at the flowers, drink coffee. Meditate. Breathe. Focus on your breathing, watch the stars. Remember where you came from.

5. Forgive. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Never hold a grudge because holding a grudge is like feeding yourself poison. Let go of the past, it's called the past for a reason.

6. Do not do drugs. They will ruin you. No matter what you feel, they will not solve it. They cannot save you. They will tear you apart from the inside out.

7. Find a hobby. Anything you enjoy doing. You deserve to have a safe release and escape from the world.

8. Let people in. You are not supposed to feel all this pain by yourself. You need to find somebody you can actually talk to, whether its a therapist or your mother. If you do not let people in you can never get better. You need help from outside sources, whether you want it or not.

9. Be good to your family. You never know when the last time you might be seeing them will be. They love you, treat them like you love them.

10. Play with animals. Animals can be so therapeutic. Get a cat.

11. Don't worry what others think about you. You cannot change their opinion. It doesn't matter what they think about you. All that matters is what you think of yourself.

How could she give up on something so pure,
give away a love so divine,
she is so sure.
It cripples me,
did not even say good bye,
just get out of my house,
as she reached for her phone,
I know,
my **** she can longer endure,
it was my fault,
so insecure,
but she is my all,
in this world I am lost,
yearning for my love,
But she so sure.

Sure this done,
my heart will not let go,
whatever it takes,
my heart just knows,
with her in sight it glows,
all colors like leaves in Autumn falling.
I am falling,
no ground in sight,
I close my eyes,
she is there smiling,
it'll be alright,
baby stop falling,
let me go, stop stalling.
This is my demise,
even in my mind,
she is so sure.

But she's right,
there is no more,
I do not care about anything,
its neither here or there,
just want her,
I cannot breathe,
she is my air,
but she is so sure.

When I was a kid happiness wasn't a decision, it wasn't something you learned from textbooks or teachers, it was a given. And it wasn't given to you by some magical means you just had it.  But as the years slip by, we find we too are slowly slipping, and more and more we have to try to reach for that something we were not given we simply got. And as our fingers brush bravely along the line between bliss and destruction, the definition of happiness is lost.  We read the news in reverse, so the man with the gun removes bullets from the chests of 20 children and their teachers. And the man returns home and becomes a boy in a time when mistakes were forgiven.  Because it seems as we get older the world gets crueler and if its unbearable now, how will ever survive? Because reading the news in reverse won't make those children alive, but perhaps if we open our eyes we will see.  We will see the reverberating effect of hate but don't let anyone tell you its too late for kindness.  The day Kyle decided the world wasn't ready, we finally were.  According to Newton's third law: for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, but  when his body made contact the ripples eventually stopped.  And I guess emotions can't be bound by laws because the ripples of pain in the hearts of people he touched never did.  Its been 57 days, 1 hour and 22 minutes but the seconds keep passing as if nothing ever happened but it did.  So smile like there's no tomorrow because time cannot be borrowed and you can't give it to someone who's gone so make it your own.   So rise and shine.  Make this world a better place, even though we are just particles floating in space, we’re gonna be here awhile.  Because maybe happiness is a decision, but I’ve chosen.

Ideas, ideas,
    Scribbled ink.
Ideas, ideas,
    Ideas of you.
Cursive letters
    on burnt edged paper
the blood from my rose
    staining your name
What's love without life?
    or life without love?
But what am I,
    without you?
Engrave your name
    on my lonely heart,
and pray that i'll see you soon.
    Close my eyes,
and listen,
    listen to the hushes of wind,
luring me deeper, and deeper,
    and deeper....
All the way past,
    the presence of sleep.