I am in a pickle
Wish cheese was with me
In a dilemma
A sticky one at that.
Wish thoughts were with me.
Good ones at that.
In a deep hole
Cannot get out.
Wish I had a *****
Not that it would help me!

To me there was never any drawback
it was just simply child's play
looking back down the old track
it was a typical British railway.

It was just brilliant in its heyday
chugging along with a smokestack
through tunnels and the odd archway
I can safely say I never looked back.

All those hard workers on the payroll
leaving memories along the track
spending all day shovelling coal
everything they wore and owned black.

Some days their breath dried and they cried
from the young lad to the station guard
but they all had something called pride
even though their memory's were all scarred.

The whistle could be heard "all aboard"
and off it would go chugging
the steam puffed and the engine roared
regardless of the carriages it was tugging.

Through every village an every vale
it relentlessly ploughed
along each track and each trail
leaving its white fluffy cloud.

Travelling along tootling down
from hill to hill down the track
from coast to each and every town
and I never looked back.

A great writer once said to himself a pen should always have ink.
Never once did Mr Gibbet believe this or he never planned to think.
Mr Gibbet was a loner, solitude was his trade, all day talking to walls
No one ever rang on the telephone so no weekend free calls.
He chatters to himself all day as if there was someone in the room
Making out the chair was his enemy and his best friend was the broom.
A strange little man, Mr Gibbet who believed in his faith The Good Lord
He knew that if you lived by the sword you died by the sword...
He took in little amounts of food pacing himself between his meals
Did not know what luxury was or top supermarket deals.
Made his own bread which tasted of stale, cheap flour.
Scraped the floor for droppings and made the bread sour.
Bet his stomach was of cast iron use to all known germs
Drinking had only on effect and that was to scare off worms.

What I'm about to tell you is the truth
It happened when i was in my youth
All I used to eat
was something sweet
and that affected my left front tooth.

Stepping out into this wide world
a world of unpredictability
of promise, of sadness, of hope.
The innocent will step gingerly
towards the unseen slippery *****.
But they manage somehow,
they slide but recover just the same.
They will right themselves like we all do
innocence is a funny old game.

I am protected from danger
inside my shell
It is my home;  my palace
where I dwell
I get little mail
these days
For I am a snail
with funny ways.
Sometimes it can be a a living hell
with this and that
inside my shell.
You cannot swing a cat
so as to speak
I never would
I am too weak
I never could.
I went through spell
of not thinking straight
Inside my shell
I've learned to wait
It is never too late.
Is it?

It is hard not to interrupt when you are engrossed.

A slight of hand
will mystify you
a wave fo the wand
will do too.
But to place in a hat
which has become a habit
his daughter's pet
a disgrunled rabbit.
The pull it out
when the magic word's said
accept the applause
and place the hat on his head.
Is a bit of a disgrace
for the poor pet
look at this pitiful face
that's  as much as you will get.
Noh shock, no suprise met by all
is it magic then one would say
the rabbit does not want to know
s llong as he eats at the end of the day.

Young love - oh the memories come flooding back.
Holding hands giggling at chosen secrets
Secrets that to this day are still worthy of a smile
The warmth of that moment is captured forever.
Captured in my golden heart locked, kept safe.
The first kiss - butterflies flapping around.
I remember those feelings, nice feelings.
Drawing his face towards mine, the anticipation
The excitement, that too is held by my golden key.
Isn't love sweet.  First times, lasting times, good times.
Don't ever let these feelings go. Keep them. Savour them
Because when your life is full of grey hair and complete
You will treasure golden feelings when love was sweet.

Twenty questions, that is what it said
Just twenty straight forward off the cuff
Up the garden path is where it was led
and the questions were not that tough.

It asked did it have legs? I said no it did not
Did it have stripes? Was it the colour of red?
I shook my head and said it did have a spot
A soft one in my heart and now it is dead.

The skin I live within
Does the day have to begin
with a jolt
I however bolt
for the coffee it is a sin.

It was a colour that is in-between
The most pathetic colour you've seen
It was not this shade
because it would fade
in fact it looked better in green.

This year Santa has a particular personal worry
And I don’t mean to complicate the riddle
But when I say he has eaten far too much this year
And the weight has piled on around his middle.

Yes he has got far too fat around his girth
He is worried the sleigh won’t take his weight
Unfortunately unless he goes on a crash diet
He will be regretting what he ate!

The time came and to cut a long story short
He boarded along with the toys and was on his way
Rudolph noticed he was under some strain
And wondered what he has stuffed on the sleigh.

“What’s he got back there” moaned Dancer
The rest of them pulled hard to drive
They came to an abrupt halt on a roof
Santa shot down a chimney with a nose dive.

He realised he was the wrong way round
But then it had all gone mysteriously black
He wished he could understand the dilemma he was in
The truth of the matter he’d got stuck in the sack.

He arrived at the bottom in a heap with and a crash
Toys, paper and mince pies were everywhere
To put it bluntly he was in a complete mess
And I dare not say what had happened to his hair.

Rudolph gingerly looked through the window
And thought the view was indeed very weird
Santa has apparently got stuck in his sack
And he had carrots poking out of his beard.

Meanwhile just to complicate matters
His team players, the reindeers were getting merry
Eating mince pies like there was no tomorrow
And knocking back the extra dry sherry.

Rudolph managed to get Santa back in a heap
And plonked him on the trusty old sleigh
Carried on and did Santa’s job himself
In a Rudolph the red nose reindeer sort of way.

Thanking goodness that was over he can get some rest
And was proud that he had delivered the toys
What the family will think when they see the mess
And he hopd they didn’t hear the fuss and noise.

Stack your purse with loads of money
tra-la-la la-la -la-la you will need it believe me
You are going into the land of milk and honey
where things are expensive and not so free.
The shopping thing is a never ending list
items just tag on the end day after each day
oh look another bargain not be missed
just dig deep in your pocket when it's time to pay
The sales are on and were they ever off
I think the word "sale" just entices you in
The prices just make the mouth froth
you lost out and the shop stands to win.
Standing in the endless queue
Tempers flaring and you just want to cry
All for the sake of having something new
But it is Christmas and you just have to buy.
You have to spend, spend and then spend
Squeezing every last penny from your savings
Your family has to have the latest trend
and you have to satisfy your cravings.
So get the battledress on and off you go
prepare to keep calm, keep sane
We all have to do it, because we know
it is that time of year again.

Bluebells and forget me nots
That summer dress with big white spots.
My mood after a really sad play
The smell of the sea on a rainy day.
My ink on a romantic card
Pebble dashed shells crumpled and hard.
Blue eggs from rather dashing hens
The unforgettable blue biro pens.
Blue films not for the feint hearted
Shiny blue butterflies for the departed.
Why do blue sweets taste the best
Obviously because they are better than the rest.
Blue oh I love blue skies
and most of all I adore blue eyes.

It is all one big joke.
A bloke goes into a room and cries
Smoke is all doom and will soon rise.
Seems mysterious ways suffice.
Smoke is lying close to the ground
spreading itself all around.
Masks guard faces, guards over fires
hot fat to ignite and melting wires.
Fat in the pan sizzling beyond belief
one spark, one light and it will be grief
it will be grief.

Hang on a minute wont it be lonely at Christmas all on my own
Just me, a silly turkey, one *******, one sad little mince pie.
Bet your life it wont, my seeds of my life have already been sown
I have got plans, my life is mapped out nicely till the day I die.

I wish I could have a magic wand
Just for one day.
There would be no more problems
No more incidents
Just happiness, spreading from soul to soul.
a mellow loveliness, a happy calm
floating from land to sea to land.
I would sit on a cloud watching
sprinkling extra magic dust where it is needed.
I wish....

I wish I were a fairy
My hair would be dyed blond
and I bet you have guessed
I'd have a magic wand.

I would wave it about like mad
Sprinkling fresh moon beams and stars
There would be no illness, no poverty
and I could live on Mars!

I wonder if a Goldfish swimming round in his bowl
Thinks “This is familiar, have I been here before?
I seem to be seeing the same things in the same place
As I swim round and round, more and more”.

I wonder what a dog thinks as he smells the dinner
Cooking then it is served piping hot from the pan
Then he gets his solidified in some sort of jelly
Straight out from the same old looking can.

I wonder what a pretty bird thinks held in a cage
Talking to himself then notices he is not alone
A reflection leads him to believe he has a new mate.
Puts his best claw forward tries not to moan.

He looks into the mirror dangling on  a short chain
“Hi, I’m Peter, you can call me Pete I suppose
And then sits all day watching himself with
A kind of “look at me” type of pose.
I wonder what a newspaper feels as it is
Pelted through a letterbox ten miles per hour
Or does it feel pain around red hot chips
Does the vinegar make the paper sour?

I Wonder if a bird hears a worm wriggling
When he wrenches it from under the ground
Worms aren’t noisy, so how do they do that then
When worms are soft, slimy and don’t make a sound.


I Wonder!

Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to fetch a pint of beer
Jack decided that after
that he felt a little queer.
They fetched a pill
with a glass of pop
to make him feel better.
Jill said "stop"
and produced a letter.
It said keep off the drink
so they had a think
and came back down the hill.
That was that for a while
after walking a mile
no more drink then....until
they saw a lit bar
with a shining star
that enticed them for more.
Jack looked at Jill
but knew he had taken the pill
and came back out through the door.
They said "what the hell"
They said nobody would tell
their naughty little tale
and promptly ordered the ale.
It went down with a bolt
and their stomachs had their fill.
Jack declared "halt"
as he tried to look at Jill
who by which time had ordered more
only to find poor Jack back on the floor.
The moral of this story is plain
take it from Jack and Jill
Dont take to the drink again
especially if you have had a pill.

Inside a damp turnip or pumpkin
carved with a smile on its face.
To scare the living daylights
and vanish without trace.
Glowing embers sparking madness
Toss a coin in its place.
Jack of the lantern to keep spirits away
carved with a smile on its face.
Happy Halloween to you all.

A fish in a dish
How confusing for him
Still going round and round
at least he can swim.

Greed is a sad time
but when you are that way inclined
desperate measures means desperate times.
Little things matter.
Looking for something that is not there.
Curious, suspicion and greed.
That is you need
to be jealous.

Love is a beautiful time
and when you are that way inclined.
Holding hands with your hero.
Little things matter.
Looking for that smile, that gentle kiss.
Emotion, caring and kind
Is all you will find
to fall in love.

Silence used to be my friend
Lonliness was always by my side
But I have now a little Godsend
He likes to play games and hide.
He is a constant joy
his little tail wagging to and fro
I love him with all my heart, my boy
and he answers to the name of Joe.
My little puppy Joe is a delight
I get woken with a warm friendly lick
and that is in the middle of the night
but it is he that now makes me tick.
He keeps me going, my furry friend
and IJoe love him with all my heart.

I saw a million butterflies
Al dressed in grey
Further up there were
Millions of birds of prey.
They had gathered
To pay their respects
On behalf of all creatures
As one would expect.
The death of a ladybird
Her spots faded now
Her redness faded to pink
And  they wiped her brow.
Ants lined the route
To her burial place
Nobody would ever forget
The sadness on the magpie’s face.
He bowed his head as she went by
Surrounded by love and flowers
The ceremony expected to last
For many more hours.
The moths flew by in twos
Followed by the wasps and bees
Other birds had sad beaks
Depression had hit the trees.
Crickets stood silent for once
Their noisy knees under control
Other insects bowed in unison
as the cuckoo announced the patrol.
They laid her to rest, six spots and all
Among the roses all a rich deep red
They sauntered back home, hearts heavy
And did nothing but cry all night in bed.
That night I saw a million butterflies
Which in all is a bit extreme
What a crazy night that was
It is funny what you dream.

Old age pensioners
settled in their comfortable home.
Protected, safe and happy.
Joan, our Joan
Butter would not melt in her mouth.
All week she has been flustered
swapping her jelly and custard
for a private stash
of shiny ready cash.
For the end of the week treat.
They all pull out their rollers and meet
at the green card table.
Some that are not so able
are wheeled in.
You can feel the tension
the stake - their pension.
But then that is alright
It is just a friendly fight.
The cards are shuffled, well rearranged
some go on the floor
some sneak under the door.
Cheating begins.
First for black jack, they all know
as they sit in a gentle row
Watching their backs,
their bony hands gripping tight
winking, leading up the garden path.
Suggesting they have the ace
such a lovely pace
Then the joker is played
and a four of spades
greets with dismay and a sigh
The draw was low the ace was high
Nothing to grab your fancy
Just a game of cards.

Your sweet lips
upon mine
An embrace
Just divine
Just a kiss
because you are mine
complete bliss.

Just a glimpse of the bright side of life
lifts one's spirit to the highest degree
Find your inner peace, your soul
and set your goal for eternity.


Just a smile does wonders for the heart
Just a giggle releases time you hadn't got
Dig deep within yourself and allow hope
shovel away bad to reveal the comical plot.

Just a smile, come on you can smile
Smile for me,  show your thought
The man will not judge but will melt
and like forever the hope he has caught.

Just a smile.

“Do not grab me”
“She has done it again,
You have got to agree
She is a pain.”
The little pink toothbrush
Moaning about the way it’s treated
In the mad morning rush
Till the cleaning session’s completed.
“Pick me up gently, that is it
Now squeeze the paste”
“Too much, too much, just a bit
Oh my life, what a waste.”
The little pink toothbrush is a fed up
He wants to be looked after lovingly
From when he comes out of his cup
Which is fair comment to some degree.
“In the mouth we go,
Always the same molar
Now woman brush to and fro
No, no, wrong, I’m trying to control you.
“Up and down, not like a yard brush
Gently, we have to do it gently
It is not some major rush
Do it differently.
Do human beings know?
Do they actually care?
Is their brain like pastry dough?
Is it even there?
If I have thought it once,
I’ve thought it a million times a day
She must be a dunce
And that is all I can say.
Rinse woman , rinse me
Under the sparkling spray
Oh no don’t dip me in your cup of tea
I’ll be yellow and smelly all day.”
Does she not know I have needs
Not know how to treat me nice
It is like she succeeds
I have to think everything twice.
“And don’t throw me
Put me gently back in my place
And I’m covered in tea
Pity it’s not on your face.”
Look soap, look everyone what she does
Treats me like a scrubbing brush
And she does it because
She is always in a rush!”

Life's not a bowl of cherries
So just enjoy them.

you smile, my knees knock
with excitement
You make the hands on the clock
stand still
Time is a velvet runway
with no seconds on it
Life is smooth like chocolate
when I stand by you I feel your strength
your power
You are my power always has been
always will be
until our seconds cease to be
It is called love, and it comes to us all
sometime, somehow, someday.
My love came when I was just sixteen
and i still have it, always will have
that is when my velvet runway cracks
my chocolate dries up and my seconds die.

Sometimes we all want peace and quiet
Sometimes we all wish to shout
Sometimes we all need someone
Sometimes that offer is in doubt.
Doubt is such an ugly word
A word where there is no trust
To have that trust in someone
Is as absolute must.
But maybe sometimes that someone
Does not wish to be about
Maybe that someone sometimes is in doubt
Putting that word to one side
Maybe he or she wants to confide
Because maybe someone shouts sometimes
And sometimes that someone is deep inside.

I wonder if a Goldfish swimming round in his bowl
Thinks “This is familiar, have I been here before?
I seem to be seeing the same things in the same place
As I swim round and round, more and more”.

I wonder what a dog thinks as he smells the dinner
Cooking then it is served piping hot from the pan
Then he gets his solidified in some sort of jelly
Straight out from the same old looking can.

I wonder what a pretty bird thinks held in a cage
Talking to himself then notices he is not alone
A reflection leads him to believe he has a new mate.
Puts his best claw forward tries not to moan.

He looks into the mirror dangling on  a short chain
“Hi, I’m Peter, you can call me Pete I suppose"
And then sits all day watching himself with
A kind of “look at me” type of pose.

I wonder what a newspaper feels as it is
Pelted through a letterbox ten miles per hour
Or does it feel pain around red hot chips
Does the vinegar make the paper sour?

I Wonder if a bird hears a worm wriggling
When he wrenches it from under the ground
Worms aren’t noisy, so how do they do that then
When worms are soft, slimy and don’t make a sound.


I Wonder .........

Kicking the dust off my shoes
As I strolled towards my front door
Less for me to do I thought
As I had already cleaned my floor.
The front door needed painting
I had some spare paint in the shed
Nobody would miss my house
If I did the door in a nice bright red.
And the windows need replacing
The frames look shabby and worn
The paint on them seems to be peeling
They were on the house before I was born.
And while I am at it I’ll replace the mat
It has certainly seen much better days.
All these jobs don’t come for free you know
But Keeping on top definitely pays.
The letterbox keeps sticking too, I’ll see to that
The postman will be pleased with me
After all these jobs today I will be fast asleep
Oh I seem to have mislaid my key!

My life is a whirlwind so very busy
in fact I don't know whether to laugh or cry
If I stand still my head feels dizzy
Do I continue this mad rush? I have to try
Is there something I can take, a magic potion
to get me through these dreary busy days
I understand that this is just a temporary emotion
Life has caught up with me in so many ways
If I do not address this I will fall into a sinkhole
I feel as though I am stuck to a slippery mat
and that I have lost all of my control
and being pulled along by the world's fastest cat.
Life is living in a circle pulled like a spinning top
and once again I don't know whether to laugh or cry
but in my heart I know this has to stop
I will not give up I have to try.

I sit tinkering
with the bells in the wood
flicking the bell this way and that
Not doing me that much good.
Playing with my head
and that is not sheet music
it is regrets and bashed dreams
shot down completely dead.
The blues I call it the lavender blues
blue rinses, phone calls and lonely beds.
Not with fruity flowers but dried hay
I have the lavender blues that is
all that I can possibly say.

There she sits
poking holes through daisy stems
feeding the next through to make a chain.
Again and again.
A daisy chain.  It never rained.  It did not need to.
In our hearts it was always summer.  Then.
When we were young and free to roam.  When
we were young.  She still is in her heart.  Her soul
is old,  She is cold. But the memories warm her.
She lies under the daisies and revisits them whenever.
When she can.  While she can.  Trapped in her daisy time.
Not such a crime is it   To be left here.  With her heart.
She sits again and again threading daisies in a chain.
These are lazy days.  Tight nights.  White ways.  Dark fights.
Again and again these are lazy days.

When you back has been at the wall
and your nightmare of a day is done
Looking forward to the nightfall
after a sweltering day in the sun.
I know, we have all been there
We want something refreshing, homemade
Well, what could be better than a care
a nice tall glass of icy cold lemonade.

In these times of despair
let there be peace.
When you think nobody is there
That times are hard and hopeless
let the dread cease
and let there be peace.
In these times of uncertainty
let there be peace.
When the shots keep coming
Let them stop.
When times are hard and hopeless
let the dread cease
and let there be peace.
In all of our hearts, we know
that peace is paramount
In all of our countries, land and homes
people count
In hills, mountains, on sand and dry zones
people care
So Lord, help those who need it, let there be peace.