I knew you
you knew me
but I don't want to know the dark things
the dark things are the things that hurt
the hurt that continues are from the dark within you
within you I am here
here to support the pain you feel
you feel what I feel and I knew that pain
because we once shared that pain
that pain that has stained our hearts
our hearts are a bleached black shirt
a black shirt that you're supposed to throw away
please throw away my black shirt
because I already threw away yours

Like hot wax
I melt
hoping to fall to your lips
and burn them a heavy red.

Like a box cutter
I use my nails and make scars on your wrists
and my tongue laps the blood that pours.

Like a syringe
I feed into you
and currate the disease.

Like a cigarette
I beg you to breath me in
even if it kills you.

Like alcohol
I want you to drink me
until you lose control.

Like ***
I want you to crave me
and scream your arousal.

Like an addiction
I want you to need me
every hour
of every day.

Sing me a melody to haunt me in the night
Its casual whispers comfort me so right
Beyond the tree lines I may see the light
Hidden beneath the tall shade it seems so bright
Let the wind carry your heart back to me
Or be consumed by the hate, failure and greed.
Hollow your eyes and walk on through
Trail by fire I lay unto you.
The end is far but the beginning in now
I found the words
I found the reason
My love, I miss you
Even though your gone
Your voice will carry on
I feel the way the sun fades
And pulls the day along .

Once you wanted me
and you wanted me to want you

I know I shouldn't care if you did
but some part of me missed being wanted by you
like you used to
I knew you wanted someone else more (we both knew)
I alway knew you were someone
I would never have
but you were always there in some way

I want to know more


or not

Blended
Layers of blended colors
One over another
Hues of every shade
Depth beyond what you know

The soul is a painting
Abstract but beautiful
Splattered in red and maroon
with violet smeared in between

Some with contrast so strong
the soul seems to be in pieces

There is one soul
one that every color comes together
reflecting light against each figure
each figure coming forward in the right places
and some falling back

This soul is in all of us it just needs a few more washes of blue and yellow
a highlight here and there
a maybe an added shadow in the back

Souls are paintings that don't stop changing

I woke up in bed
with the light outside
and half the night left

It's 5:30 and here I am sleeping
again

I am tired
what seems like all the time

Is being tired worth the money
worth the time
worth my last strength

.......it is for now

Here I am
feelings splayed on the ground
here for you to see

You found me gutted and broken
Angry at the desperate teenage boy who left me this way
you found me and wanted the broken mess

I don't think I was ready then but I am now
I was constantly trying to make you believe I wasn't broken
but that mask soon faded

You didn't look at me with rose colored glasses
you saw me with a genuine love and an honest heart
you wanted to be mine before I wanted to be yours

It took me this long to see this as it is
you have always loved me more
until now

Until now it was uneven
but now our love is equal and stronger

I am fully yours
always