They sit on the countertop
Swinging legs and calling me pretty

Haunting the table at Staufs
chattering away

I know they linger in the ocean room
splashing water, willfully hypnotized by those tones

In the theater
whispering I love You

So I shoo them away
and search for some peace.
I need these spaces for a little longer.

i want to tell you i miss you
with no subtext.
no guilt, no anger, no expectation
that you'll fix it.
i don't want you to feel bad
or tell me it will get better.
this is where we are meant to be
right now - me apart from you,
my hands a little empty
and my heart a little sad.
i miss you,
i just wanted you to know.

and in these moments,
of feeling lost enough,
i find myself turning to the tones that narrate my adolescence,
the ones I know every small shade to.

the way the tongue dipped to form those kiwi sounds,
brings on peace like childhood nostalgia,
dripping in rich indigo and sparkling lavender.

i crawl inside of them,
rewatching the story a thousand times over,
feeling the anticipation of the tide's rise and fall,
deep down in my soul.

As whispers of aristocracy,
teenage anarchy,
broken lovers,
and reeling nights,

take me home to my heart,
and I feel known.

I'm not sure
if I ever did love you
But if I was given forever
as promised
I know I would have.