Being in the line of fire, all by yourself is not pleasant
It is not fun. Or liberating.
It is tragic.
You are the beginning, middle, and end to your own story.
There is no "pause" button friend
Just a flood of eternity where you go from heaven to hell in the matter of minutes and sometimes seconds
But no regrets...because you DID want to be alone ,right?
You did want be alone with yourself
Because everyone else was a resounding noise
Or maybe a crowded background of space
and ...
Everyone was completely and totally irrelevant.
Even the people who needed more help than you did
People that had actual life -threatening problems
When you grunted about having too -warm coffee
and about not having a phone charger

But it was great while it lasted.
THE SPOTLIGHT

Now the lights fade and you're the only one.

She was such a kind and gentle soul
Until lies got in the way and fakeness grew old
Now she sits and ponders a meaning for everything
Waiting for everyone's ill intent
Waiting for the sound of people coming in and walking out simultaneously
Oh, the joys of being kind

She had her head in the clouds
I had my feet planted on the ground
Could there be a more perfect match??

She always used to tell me that i was self absorbed
That the tears drops that fell from my cheeks were only worth the idea of scorn.
That i couldn't love anything, not even myself right.
She made me lift her up on a pedestsal
I WAS THE PEDESTAL!
Not, once did she maim to frame my interest, loves or passions
She cared about HER.
Her..
The thing that drove me insane but spent the whole day swelling, running, jumping through my head
Making me happy and intrigued by the mystery.
Curiosity killed the cat?
Satisfaction brought it back to life...

Told you so...
Told YOU sooo...

I find myself repeating the same things ....
Over and over and over again
Whether they may be good or bad, healthy or unhealthy
I repeat
But we are all creature of habit
We dwell in familiarity

What happened to us?? We used to be creatures of invention and inspiration.
Couldn't sit still because of the billions of ideas that were floating around in our head..

But now we wait for someone else to drum up those ideas..
Instead of singing in harmonies to our own
We are now just full of ideas but no motivation to drive and part of a generation

I can't stand you.
I love you.
You don't know how much I love you.
I don't know how much I love you.
Even when I can't stand you and don't want to be a way from you.
The way that you say my name resounds inside of my deepest memories.
The gentle cold touch leaves a haunting dent on my skin.
But oh, the way you would drive me insane with the unbalanced emotions that you portrayed.
It made me feel desperate.
As though I could fix you. Drive you to change.
In all of our circumstances..
God, I thought that I might me enough for you to change.
Am I?