So simple and so sweet
My bouncy box of music
Clinking and clanking
Gently through my ear drums

Pressure pressure pressure
Sweetly appealing for release
No monsters here.
I hold nothing to fear.

A lull in my resolve
That simple handle,
Turning.
Butterfly Silence.

Excitement and fear bundle as one
This monster untamed,
Lurching and wailing
My fears, My nightmares.
Exposed.

With cold dead hands
I tease the creature back.
Whispering plans,
Hopes  and dreams
Hushed away once more.

Butterfly silence.
My momentary relief.

SLAP!
The smirk
Slithers,
Slips,
Slides,
from your face.

Your eyes glaze over
Pride is your life boat.

I snap my hand back
Like you are burning.
You don’t deserve my skin.

One last time,
My eyes sweep your face
I am satisfied with my creation.

Your smirk
Slithers,
Slips,
Slides,
Onto my lips.

On the walk home
My chance arises!
You smirk.
And sulkily, I slink away.

Hate me
Your heart is in my grasp

Despise  me
As I clench it in my fist

Refuse me
My beautiful toy thing

Leave me
Don’t love me the way you do

Ignore me
I don’t deserve your calls

Hurt me
The way I hurt you

Forget me
My fickle heart will flutter no more

I open my eyes,
Darkness floods my senses.
Filling my mouth,  my ears, my nose
Until it and I become one
A fusion of doubt and insecurity.

But its ok, I’m ok.
A stretch of my fingers and you are there,
My skin dances at this tiny contact
Warmth spreads from your skin to mine.
I am complete.

Light and dark wrestle within me,
I smile as your warmth swarms through.
I am cleansed.
My heart flutters,  my lungs expand,
I breath in your smell.

A rustle of a pillow, sleepily, you turn towards me.
“ Are you ok my love?”
My face pressed against your chest  I smile.
“Always ,with you.”
A sigh of relief
“Always.”

My face lights up when you appear
The swift joy you bring, impossible to contain.
I am yours.
And you are mine.

That electric spark we created, stayed.
Through out our times of fear and pain.
Wrapped around me through the storm,
We smiled together through it all.

When I am lost, alone and torn.
Inside I clutch this glittering warmth.
Forever pulsing with my heart,
our beautiful  and constant melody.

Tomorrow may be harder and uncontrollable,
And we may rant and rave and cry
But with the spark winding and uncontained
I know we will always steadily beat in time.

Here is my box
Just for me
Full to the brim
Of hopes and dreams

You can try
To strain and see
But these things here
Are just for me

And when the world
Begins to smother me
I climb inside my box
Of hopes and dreams

For they can’t touch me when I hide
I’m sheltered from reality
I laugh, I smile
When I’m inside
Because they can never take my fantasies.

Watch it won’t you?
My heart beating,
Throwing itself against my chest,
as I hear the words you say

Feel it won’t you?
My heart tugging
Desperately struggling in its fleshy bounds
Reaching out with clammy hands, only a child would own

Listen won’t you?
My heart thudding,
Each beat a cry,
For a touch, a taste, of forbidden happiness

Love me won’t you?
My heart spluttering,
Last beat straining,
Last look loving.