You are the friend it took me years to find,
Now I can leave the past behind,
You led me through darkness to light,
Never complaining, you never took flight.
I want to return the help you gave,
though it may take me to my grave.
Though we argue now and then,
You are a friend, and friend again,
You will be. For you are the one who chose to be,
such a very good friend to me.

When I was young I knew no bad,
Mostly happy, rarely sad.
The world was only a happy place,
Always a smile on my face.
I grew a little older, a little more wise,
I knew that my happiness was built on lies.
So I grew up, an adult by ten,
I learn't to avoid the dragons den.
I thought that I made a grave error,
When I dared to challenge the terror.
But then I realized something key,
the terror could only shout at me,
This terrified me as a child,
but now it did not seem so wild.
I was deadlier than he,
who had long ago been a threat to me.
The shouting covered up a madness,
So when it went I felt no sadness.

He thought that I was blind to it all,
That I thought he could not fall.
He never thought to stop and think,
To see that I could make the link.
So he never thought i knew
That he had a mental blue,
But he denied it for so long,
I knew it all and he was wrong.
He hurt me in a life-long way,
A mental scar that will always stay.
Denied his strange mentality,
Which gave him his verbal brutality
If you read this, and you are he,
Then give me time to just be me,
And adjust to a stress-free life
Without your harm and without the strife.
You're always there, on my case,
If you weren't then seeing you I would embrace,
I'm still too angry, it's still fresh in my mind,
I can't yet leave the past behind.
He thought that I was blind to it all,
That I thought he could not fall.

"You're not old enough" is all you hear,
"You're too young to be of any use".
Well, this is what I say to you:
"Don't listen to those well meaning, completely decieving, treacherous, think their better than us, we're old enough to understand, we've got your life all planned, so clever their dumb, brain cells and heart gone numb, big language they think you don't know, force you to follow them wherever they go, say its french if they swear, don't let your clothes tear, people that we trust in called grown ups.
You don't get on in life by listening to them, but by being:
Quite resourceful, only a little forceful, polite to those in power, never at all sour, an example of a good mix of words and fists, believing only in what exists, reasonably bold, young at heart not old, elegant whil still practical, clever and tactical, but most of all by being YOU and ignoring people unless they actually make sense for once!

Nothing all gone
Nonsense no sense
Backwards
Upside down empty
Brain cant stop
Too much nothing
Packed tight empty space
Everything gone
Still there can't find it
Mixed up confused
Hidden in plain view
Stay still keep moving
Never existed far away
Cant reach too bright
White noise empty space
Silence too loud
Nonsense moronic ox
Death divorce illness stress
Madness
Wont go away isnt here
Missing but not gone
Crowding around
one big lump of busy emptines
Scared it wont stop
The noise and the panic

Teenager
Child in a body too big
Grown up too small
Confused and complicated
Life used to be simple
Grown up so fast that i  don't recognise myself
I can hide from myself inside my brain
Don't let the madness show
The confusion and sadness and madness

Dont let hem worry about you

Never been kissed well thats just sad
No friends out of school thats just sad
Never had a boyfriend thats just sad
Confused mad me? Im just sad.

Nothing you can do to change it
Don't trust anyone too much hurt
Want to trust but cant

Don't understand emotions only ok or wrong
Cant turn my brain off
Don't understand why to look at people when i talk to them
Often too absorbed to hear anyone
Bright light
Cant handle its too much
Too logical
Bright enough to hide these difficulties
Don't let anyone worry

I cant deal with it anymore
Just want to cry in someones arms
I cant break down too much responsibility
Too much pressure
EXAMS DIVORCE MADNESS
I am broken
Trying to patch up as the inside crumbles
No inside left to hide
No outside to hold the patches
I am broken and confused and sad and mad

Just another teenager in the street
I dont stand out unless you know me
Except for not looking like a ****
I  don't dye my hair or use fake tan
I never wear more than a little mascara
No tiny shorts or big hair
No push up bra or revealing top
Just sad mad me in hoodie and jeans
Wearing converse because theyre comfy not because theyre cool

I am b r o k e n cunfosde and mmmmaaaaadddd me and i cant take it anymore.

As the lone tear falls down my cheek
My barricade crumbles.
The dam bursts, first a trickle, then a flood
All the sadness rushes out
As the mask protecting me buckles,
Crumbles under the strain.

When someone dies you hide the grief,
Store it until the right moment.
Wait for the funeral service.

An empty bank of words in my head now.
Everything there but nothing visible,
Like a bad filing system with no order.
You cant find what you want
Express it all wrong.

That is what has happened here,
But it has to be expressed or I will explode