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everyday feels like dreaming
I scream but I can't wake up
and the feeling of falling won't stop

I'm not afraid anymore
I'm terrified

everyday feels like repeating
I feel less and less each time
and the swimming, the spinning won't stop

I'm not afraid anymore
I'm terrified

every day feels like drowning
I gasp with every breath
and the constant corrosion won't stop

I'm not afraid anymore
I'm terrified

everyday feels like dying
I cry but the tears never flow
and the beating and breaking won't stop

I'm not afraid anymore
© 2012 Jene'e Patitucci
once you are gone
there will be no evidence that you were ever here at all
no photographs
no letters
no clothes left behind
the smell of your hair will not be on my pillow
your warmth will not resonate in my bed
I will find no hair of yours hidden among my sheets
and I will eventually find it hard to prove even to myself
that there was a time when you existed
and I ask myself
if you even do
now
© 2012 Jene'e Patitucci
empty house, floor is cold
sense of fear

dull gray sky, snow on ground
you're not here

water glass, film on top
baggy-eyed

lost myself, "I'm okay"
dead inside
© 2012 Jene'e Patitucci
"Super...just...
   Unbelievably well.
      I've never been better. Honestly, I
        Can't recall the last time
           I felt this
             **** good. I'm happy to be
                Alive and I
                   Love you."
© 2012 Jene'e Patitucci

it's hardest to talk to family.
Dear Morning,

      Please believe me, I know you're still shining...but it's me - I just can't see how I used to see at all. When I wake, the darkness holds me. He wraps his hands around my waist. He pulls me in. I shake but I know I cannot escape.

Just hold me closer
I will obey
My body dies but I'm awake
Forced to carry on
It's my mistake

      I know you will leave me, my love; you will break me, I know, you will never love me like you've loved before.

Just hold me closer
I will obey
My heart will die while I'm awake
Forced to carry on
It's my mistake
© 2012 Jene'e Patitucci

this became a song tonight thanks to a cold car and an iPhone
https://soundcloud.com/jeneemusic/mistake
Sometimes I wonder if you really think of me. You spend so much time in your own head I wonder if there is any room up there for some one like me, with all my insecurities. I’d spend all day inside your brain if you would let me.


Sometimes I wonder what you’re thinking when you laugh right out of nowhere - no relation to the present situation - and it’s usually a joke you have between you and yourself and no one else quite understands but I am trying.


     Sometimes I wonder who we are. Sometimes I wonder just how far you want to take me down  
     this path that we are making. And sometimes I wonder about not a thing at all; and other times I
     find myself trying my hardest to recall.


Sometimes I wonder if we’d be friends if we met when we were kids, both aging much more rapidly than all our friends. And by the time we grew up, crookedly, would you be sick and tired of me? We’d see the time each other started dying.


Sometimes I wonder what you dream when you’re asleep or if you have a fantasy world like I do but that’s my secret. And I wonder if someday you’ll store all your secrets inside me and I’ll hide them from this dark, depressing, dream ingesting world.


     Sometimes I wonder what we are. Right now I wonder if my car will make it to your house when
     it and I am shaking. Sometimes I wonder if someday I’ll be driving to our house; finally a place
     where we can maybe try to get some sleep.


Sometimes I wonder if you worry ‘bout things you say ‘round me. Do you feel stupid, do you feel crazy, do you think that you might scare me? Do I steal your breath away with each kiss like you do to me? Or am I mystifying, romanticizing this time?


Sometimes I wonder what you do when I’m not there or you’re not here, because you’re interesting, and I worry because I care. Sometimes I wonder ‘bout the spaces in-between your fingers where your soul begins and this world ends and I know my lips have been.


     Sometimes I wonder if we are. Sometimes I’m really ******* far away and I can’t say the
     meanings I am thinking. And sometimes you need your space and sometimes I need my space,
     too. We like alone but alone’s better when I’m with you.


     Sometimes I’m scared half to death. Just want to rest my spinning head upon your chest and
     listen softly to the rhythm and I hope you know I’m hopeful that things will be okay someday I
     hope you know that I mean every word I say.
© 2012 Jene'e Patitucci

https://soundcloud.com/jeneemusic/things-will-be-okay
*in the song i say "worry" instead of "wonder" at the end of the first chorus and i haven't decided yet whether or not i'm going to keep it like that.
will you leave me in the morning
with these scars run through my head
and the only thing I’m calling
is your name across my bed

but I wait
for you
I wait
forever it seems

will you hold me when I’m mourning
with your hands upon my chest
and your touch it leaves me shaking
when you lay me down to rest

but I come
to you
I come
to the endless sea

of lovers you’ve had before
and I’ll wait on the empty shore
I’ll stay with you forever
if you’d love me just tonight

lead me out of this fear
I’m alone though you’re near
I’ve been waiting all my life
will you love me tonight?
© 2012 Jene'e Patitucci

https://soundcloud.com/jeneemusic/malach-hamavet
I wanted to kiss you on that beach
forever
tonight.
© 2012 Jene'e Patitucci
I speak I write I sing I yearn
for something more than just discern
cannot grasp, not tangible
what I long for's impossible
to find if you are trying to seek
in the mean time I must fill my need

I speak I write I sing I crave
to be the best without delay
learn the most and fill my brain
speak the truth without refrain
have the fame, know where it's at
hope that others will know that

I speak I write I sing I wish
for someone who will share my bliss
ful tendencies, who will want me
rely on me to fill their need
tell me that they know I can
cause

I speak I write I sing I am
I wanna make you a sandwich, someday.
Not when you ask; just for the hell of it.
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