it wasn't you again
that missed call
that unseen text

funny how we expect the future
to begin right away
sad that the past
makes it impossible to stay

wishes never cease
lust and desire
always win

i miss you
already again

That grain
That grit
The stain
Looks like ****
That was a life waiting on love

That thought I think
Whenever I pour, pull, splash
A drink is mine and its perverse
And small sometimes it builds
Mostly though it falls
Because I'd rather be drunk than creative

A glance in a moment
A chance in a flash
Never realised because it takes to long
To be open and accepting
what is honesty but faith
Scary to admit your
Secrets
Desires
Are to weird to be voiced
Sometimes its easier to let go
**** in your mouth
Choking on the juices as they flow
Going along with procreation
To terrified to turn off the pleasure

Ill measure out another shot pour it out
And take the bottle
Easier, less stress of trying to know if I want more
I'll just take it

Perhaps there'll be another to  take its place.... soon.

woeful and absorbed
slowly dissolved
passing by blinded

out of my mind
one sided
dehydrated drive
lost all momentum

I still play with my **** to much...

probably

I see the bottom coming out
Smooth,  brown sweet doubt
Going down further and further
I owe a soul a debt
Looking to repay....
I'm lonely but I ain't that lonely yet

Smoke filled
Bludgeoned and stained
I try to stand but get knocked down again
Smiling through all this pain
Knowing tomorrow I'll just do it all the same..
I get lonely but I ain't that lonely yet.

Some days seem better than ones past
But I got this shine that masks my sores...
I could call you and wrestle you away from your bed....

You know I'm lonely but I hadn't
Gotten that lonely yet.

mostly nothing works out
giving in to change
Personality
Direction
Doubt

dimensionless and self providing
we end up becoming more greedy
simple in our dying.

I hope for sake of
Love
Lust
Pleasantries
conclusions can be met

but we both know hardly anything works out.

I have deeds that aren't proud
I have lies they bring me down
Days and nights loving nothing because nothing is in love like me.
I have dreams that get lost in a cloud.

I wish my wishes were true
I have given up on regretting the consequences they'd hold
Left empathy and begging behind
I'll do what I need to get mine
All in time
All in relative space
All done without wondering about your face.

Friends will make assumptions but never seek to rectify
Friends will assume and they begin with a lie.
They're like me but hold onto moral fiber
I admit I'm no good
I admit that I'm a liar.

Who else would do the same.
Those with full loss and no gain.

Something like octane
distant
profane

It's a longing
believing in belonging
taken by the need
salivating from memories

Something like octane
burning
insane

Resonating shouts of joy
spark controversy
Bipartisan all of us beset
By greed for what we ***

Something like octane
charged
heart engorged