i had to stay
after today so
i could help
another teacher
out, but im
not complaining
because through
this window,
i can see you.
smiling,
laughing,
being the
joyous person
you are.

i can tell you're
happier and
i just love that.

im trying real hard to
make it easy for me
but when you asked me
why im was always so
busy and why i
never come by anymore
i didnt know
what to say.

and yet i wonder why i
cower at the thought of
him not returning
my love,
and yet i am the
one pretending that
i never felt that
way.

i wont.
i wont make another
passage in my
skin like i
used to.
i wont allow the
blade to control me
again over someone.
i wont let myself
get to where i
was just a
few months ago
because being who
i was isn't who i
want to be
now.

ive finally started caring
again and even though
it hurts sometimes,
the pain isn't as
bad as it was when
i had nothing left
inside.

You spend your quarter
In the great big jukebox.  
It carries many songs
Each with a different story to tell
Some of love
Betrayal
Some to laugh
Some to dance
And some to ponder
And in your hands
You have but one quarter
When the jukebox needs:
Two