I accept when feelings are not mutual
All feelings are powerful but also uncertain
They cannot be obtained by any ritual
They cannot be veiled long behind a curtain

They come and ago in the moment
Or they linger for a season
But we can't have something just because we want it
We get what we give for a reason

When the initial feelings of excitement,
Wonder, awe, and infatuation have subsided
I am able to be more benevolent
In my own joy and peace I have resided

In the few instances I have fallen in love
Although the others did not feel the same
Through hurt and pain I had to rise above
To prove to myself that I am no ordinary dame

I had to let them go and let them be
I will love them all for as long as I live
But I could not hold them back I had to set them free
So that not only I but they also can live

I hold out in hope that one day the love I give will return to me
and until then that I will be able to see all those who love like me.

~S.M.S

Dear Number 1 fans,
I have learned a lot from you
Not only from what you say
But also from what you do
I know that it will all be okay

I may not have shown it the best
I've hurt you more than I meant
And now all I want is for you to find rest
After all the times you've bent

I cannot express with mere words
The respect and love I have for you
I'm sorry it has taken so long to see the rewards
Making you hold your breath until you're blue

Please forgive me for all that I've done
You have always been there
When I lost or when I won
You always showed me that you care

I hope I can return to you two-fold
Because all that you've given me
Is more precious than jewels and gold
You have taught me how to be free

Free to love forgive and to heal
I love you Always Forever
learning how to get through and just deal
near and far closer together

From your number 1 fan,
your daughter.

~S.M.S

Sitting by the window
I can see the multitudes pass by
Some stand out with the way they glow
I wonder how they got this way when I just want to die

People in the room get called by name
I just sit and continue to watch outside
They walk as if they have no shame
I wonder when all I've done is cried

An elderly lady comes and sits by me
I turn my head to discourage coversation
It doesn't work. She's one of the merry
I hold my tongue and pretend not to listen.

She begins by saying, "What they have; you can have to."
What does she think I want?
"There's someone waiting just for you."
C'mon lady you're just another nut.

"He's knocking at your door. Will you let Him in?"
I turn around to answer her.
She's gone. I feel a stirring from within.
I wonder who could possibly knocking at my door?

At home, I sit alone on the couch.
A tap tap tap at the door.
I go to see who's there with the demeaner of a grouch.
I go to open the door.

The most beautiful being I've ever seen.
"Who are you?" I say.
He replies "I've been waiting for you to let me in."
I wonder, could this be? No way!

Please come in, come and stay with me.
It's You that i've been missing.
Lord please forgive me.
I did not realize what I had been doing

"I forgive you dear child your sins have been forgotten."

....to be continued

~S.M.S

I stumbled into you like a drunk. lost and disoriented i held onto you. Sobered i cudnt let you go. Recovered id be lost without you.

~S.M.S

Could I live with out you
Is there any other way
Somehow stored up to accrue
Save you for a rainy day

When breaths are tight and shallow
They're barely coming in
Days when it's hard to swallow
The thoughts that never end

Or maybe I can use you
when I can't catch a breath
because I'm "craughing" and turning blue
laughing and crying forgetting to breathe

Can I hold you for as long as I want
Discharge you of your duties while I sleep
and slowly drag you when I'm ready to hunt
May I not lose control when I weep

Breath. How is it that you sustain
Yet you can also be deprived
What else must you gain
So that you can thrive

Why do you keep leaving me curled up gasping and crying? Where have you gone that you cannot move freely through me as you did before? I miss you breath. I need you. I feel worn out and exhausted after 8 hours of sleep. It's not the same it's like an imitation that has expired and if it's my airways that are too small I won't make it unless I have the real thing. A breath of fresh air to save me from this nightmare that has taken hold. Come soon I don't know how much longer this imitation will hold.

~S.M.S

When you look at me
there is nothing else I can see
but those soft blue pools
their own gravity pulls

I am transfixed by your look
that first glance is all it took
you brought me in with your gaze
now I am under a haze

I answered your quiet call
I came and gave you my all
Wrapped up in your hold
Feeling more precious than gold

But I cannot comprehend
How it all feels like pretend
Please don’t let this be a dream
Don’t let this be a recurring theme

Come for me; I’m ready
Make me vulnerable and unsteady
I want to be lost until sunrise
Lost in the blue eyes mesmerize

~S.M.S

You try to control me with my desires
It's not going to work
You try to manipulate my kindness
I know you lie well
I don't need your approval
I don't need your opinion
I know who I am
I know my worth
I control my happiness
I do what I want for me and no one else
On my own; in all my faults and glory
I am completely me

~S.M.S