I would kiss your lips as gently as I'd slap you across the face
Smooth
Straight into the action
Purely fueled by passion
I'd set you free as often as I'd lock your cage
shove and hide you away in the remoteness of your mind
I'd make you spend time
Wondering just who I am
Seconds
Mainly
As you can't be bothered nor can I be asked
Too involved in my past to set course for a better future
I found myself repeating history
Now nothing remains a mystery
I can
Tell when the **** will hit the fan
And set it on high so it falls and sullies the floor
Where I can inspect the damage that was not done to me from a distance
Reminiscent of times where I'd imagine myself doing something
Aside from drifting in and out of consciousness.
Finding myself wishing my arms were spread around you
To pull you in
Seek your warmth and figure out just
What warmth is to a sack of flesh
Supported by bones
Running on blood and adrenaline rushes
The mind seeks to lay blame on other important organs
So you can ignore that you are faulty
And then you see your faults in others, and blame them for grievances you encountered yourself
And I'd set you and your hips down
Slide a hand up and hold your lips down
Lift you up because I'm afraid you might drown
In the tensions that arise when you're slipping out of your mind
And into loose tongue mouthing nothing that sounds like obscenities wafting through the air
And I'd make love to you
You'd call it *** too
In the same way one casually waves a hand at an old friend
Long forgetting their name
Who they were
What they meant if anything
Casually smiling back as these voids go unfilled
You'd never mention it again
Like the time that the world almost came to an end as I was choking on my own saliva
Siezing out for a hand or a tree branch
Crawling on the floor, vision fading
Thinking
This is how I'll die, and I'll think nothing more
So that to this day I cannot stand to feel as though I might throw up because my throat my hold down the ***** and I'd erupt only after I die
But it's never mentioned
So it's like it never happened
Till it comes back in flashes, calling to you like a parent, promising some sense of warmth, something safe
Because we craft and recraft our memories till they make what makes the most sense to us
Would be to let me do as I want for a year
Without limitations I might finally face my fears
Self imposed, unreal, and confront myself as I am, a coward too afraid to act
So he acts in defiance to his own whims
Like
Holding onto your hands
Memorizing the smooth contours and shapes
Feeling the tingling sensensation of running my nails gently across your fingertips
Down your neck I'd find nothing but soft skin and exposed vacancies of weaknesses long since abandoned
What gives when the architect of your demise
Is that little voice inside your mind
Saying
It's your hearts fault, that you're so blind
When
All it ever did was give out the signs

She wakes again in blinding sunlight
From gentle dreams of black and white
She hides her eyes, embraces her plight
Her breath laced with the gin of last night

Hair knotted, lips cracked, she smells like smoke
Cigarettes for breakfast make her choke
She still sometimes laughs though she's the joke
She's tired, she's wasted and her heart's broke

She watches in silence and dreams her days
Chiming the hours as she wasted away
She gave up her virtue to feel loved for a day
She's playing her part in her dreamers ballet

I will never tell you that you look beautiful.
I will never tell you that (you) look lovely.
Because those statements hinge on sundresses
and too much time looking in the mirror.
After all, it is just a piece of glass.
And you (are) too,
because I see right through the beaming
reflections on your skin.
And you are deeper than the ocean,
calmer than it too.
As sweet as dripping honey,
and as (soft) as morning dew.
You’re that feel(i)ng at 2 (am), when the Sun
is asleep and somehow I still don’t feel alone.
And you are every gentle raindrop landing
on (quiet) rooftops in late July.
Your roots sink further than lofty White Oaks,
and your reach extends far beyond their branches.
You keep every beam of sunlight,
your eyes like glowing coals,
and every morning the horizon must borrow
from all the splendor that you hold.
They fill books with all your essence,
and it’s still never enough.
So I will call you what you are.
You are lovely.
You are beautiful.

I thought I would run out of words
when soft beams of light peaked past the horizon,
like the letters would sink down with the moon.
Because for years I’ve made the stars my ink
and the night sky my canvas.
I guess the sunlight just feels strange
when you’ve spent so much time in darkness.
But now it warms my frosted fingers,
pulsing liquid lava through my veins.
Sleepless nights becoming tired mornings.
But they are new.
And so am I.
I can write about hope,
even if I have so little left.
I can write about truth,
even though I lie right through my teeth.
I can write about peace,
even though I see none of it in me.
And I can write about love,
even though I haven’t the faintest clue
of what it could be.

Can you handle me on sleepless nights
after midnight when past regrets
turn into future fears?
Will you be able to calm that sea?
Because my teeth feel loose inside my mouth
and some days I worry too much.
Some days my clothes are a tad bit too big
or too small,
and my glasses don’t sit right.
I guess they still keep you in focus.
I wonder what you’d think
if you saw all the thoughts I had.
What if I’m not enough?
You’d think it’d be a question
but some days it just becomes a statement
that I bury underneath fearful eyes.
I guess I forget that it can be answered.
But what if?
What if I’m not enough.

The mirror was cut,
Wrists were shattered,
This heart is sobbing,
These tears must be broken.

This town sits quiet,
As the destructions falls silent,
Where these stories were once spoken,

Stories that have long past
Still seem so real,
They’ll never stop happening,
Darkness will never let him be.

Everyone’s telling him what to do,
He doesn’t remember how to feel,
It’s all very fragile,
His thoughts are vast as the sea.

Flowing thoughts,
Crashing waves,
How will I ever escape,
Will I never be free?

They tell you no,
You’re trapped forever,
But I say no,
I say run away with me.

Let’s run,
Leave this place,
Leave these feelings,
I’ve got you and nothing else.

You’re wrong,
We have the world,
Right in the palm of our hand.

We don’t need the world,
All we need is us,
Say goodbye,
It’s time to leave this land.

Whispering farewell
To the memories
We’re leaving behind,
Good and bad times,
Old adventures,
Thinking of new ones
As we leave this reality.

Your lips, so bittersweet,
The last thing I’ll ever taste,
Kiss the world goodnight,
As I kiss you one last time.

I’m afraid of letting go,
But I know if I’m with you,
This dreamland won’t be so scary,
It’ll be just one last tree to climb,
As we stand at this height,
I contemplate our lives,
From when we were kids,
To today, on this bridge.

Let’s run,
Leave this place,
Leave these feelings,
I’ve got you and nothing else.

You are not like the sea.
It will never be deep enough,
nor calm enough,
nor lovely enough
to ever hold your substance.
You have engulfed all of it;
every salty drop now sits in lungs
that hold the air I need to survive.
And I will dive as deep as I must
to find the caverns that keep it.
Tides cascade through brimming veins
and currents surge through swelling limbs.
One deep breath is all it takes
to force the sea into your eyes.
And you will hold it there forever;
the tranquil green pools
like puddles forming from
the deepest ocean floors.
You are not like the sea.
You will never be like the sea.
The sea is like you.