it appears i can't look to those closest to me

Eighteen today
I've never understood the question
"Do you feel older?"
As if age is a tangible feeling
Meant to bring excitement
A vague sense of feeling better

Eighteen, someday
To a kid living in the system
They must understand the question
Each birthday is one more closer to
The death of their dream
They can't hold onto what they don't have

...I hope one day
I can fulfill that dream
Before they turn eighteen

ignite my empty frame with your fiery ash
teach my bones to know tendrils of warmth
feed me your sweet poison
place the delicate drops on my dry thirsting tongue
tempt my inhibitions
with your slow curving mouth and fearless unblinking eyes
scratch with rough nails
let the blood seep through
appreciate beauty in the red
and with searching fingers trace the hidden valleys i've had yet to find
ravage my mind
extract the words and thoughts
probe with force and tenacity
snap the locks shatter the ice expose the fear

f r e e  m y  m i n d