Here I am
In this four-walled box
The door is open
But bound by locks
The key is present
But not at hand
If I could just reach it
But I don't think I can
At first
Anger resided, Sister Bitterness too
Then stark Coldness,
The winds of Biting Blues
When the walls
Began to fade a little
I outstretched my hand
T o reach for the key
Only to make it to the middle
My fingertips just scraping
On the nothingness of air
I pulled back fast
Fell back in the chair
For all I knew this was a halfhearted attempt
And rushing back came Anger and Contempt
Coldness and the winds of Biting Blues too
For, after all, nothing follows through.
The door remains open
But the locks still locked
The key still present
But not where I thought
For as Father Time ticktocks days away
I begin to think
"What's all this worth anyway?"
And again I try
To reach for the key
My eyes finding that all along
It's right in front of me
I reached out
A tentative hand
I met no obstacles
But barely hoped to land
I moved forward a few more steps
To bring me closer to my goal
The elusive but stationary key to my soul
This time cold metal and warm skin touch
I feel a small thrill
Fear or Excitement?
I can't tell much
But all too soon
Oh, when will I learn
That you have to want it
To feel the burn
For yet again
I left the right things unsaid
And felt the painful yet familiar shreds
Of Frustration and Anger
'Cause I can't or won't say
The words that will save all my days
So yet again
I face failure
But at the root of it I know
That part of me's holding back
Fearing to be accused of putting on a show
The fact that everything comes down to me
Should place me on the right track, I see
But I just can't ever seem to reach
The KEY
So very elusive, yet always stationary
As Father Time ticktocks the days into months
And anxieties creep too dangerously near
Again, I start to ponder and then fear
While seated in a four-walled box
The door is open but bound by locks
The key is present but not at hand
Will I ever reach it?
Please tell me if you believe I can.