Catherben

Catherben Feb 2014

constant… sleepy… slumber…
mind, heart :
meet disaster, regret, tears

quicksand inside chest
twisting, lying
spiraling screaming

discuss earthquakes:
legs promise twitches, doubt

rapidly stolen neurone attention ?
changing?
laugh?
deep words crave morning

paper living
learn depression, accept tornado
tired remains sinking, spinning
early rolling shame

creations drown
stomach crying
turning, moving

5am self-loathing
wrinkly aches

leave learning, knowing.
anxiety waves crashing.
growing wronged feeling.

…help

know little, love later.
SMILE.
LIPS. BODY. THOUGHT.= BROKEN.

listening machine descends
sharing deadly scorn

control
control
control

reduced shields

Reject loneliness!

Awaken grinning,
showing, caring!

Repair affection,
defend smaller gushes,
smear biased audience.

Finally head creating!
Sleep, paint, rest, accept.
Hands hold dreams.

Barely flooded brain
discovered free flow.

HelloPoetry has a cool feature that lists most of the words you’ve used in the poems you’ve posted in no particular order. The way my words were arranged was really interesting and I moved things around a bit and turned the list into it’s own poem!

Catherben Feb 2014

Untitled

Spinning, spiraling, tossing, turning, circling, tumbling,
Twisting, changing, moving, growing, learning, showing,
Sharing, following, inspiring, knowing, creating, caring,
Crying, laughing, grinning, screaming, begging, listening,
Finding, loving,
Living, glowing

Coming out of depression; forming new relationships;
learning how to appreciate things again, and how to make art again

Catherben Nov 2013

Broken Beyond Repair

Depression has reduced me to a stubborn vending machine, spitting out your affection as if it were a wrinkly five dollar bill

Self-loathing shields me from your compliments, barely any leave a mark on me

Anxiety makes me question your motives,
as if you have something to gain from lying to me

Loneliness makes me crave your attention but doubt makes me reject it

It's not that you aren't giving me enough love,
it's that I'm too broken to accept it

Having a bad decade

Catherben Nov 2013

Disaster

There's an ocean in my chest,
waves crashing, as I drown from the inside out

My eyes are flooded,
tears rolling down in a constant flow

There's quicksand in my stomach,
rapidly sinking to somewhere deep inside of me

My legs are plagued with earthquakes,
quiverings and twitches beyond my control

There's a tornado in my head,
thoughts whirling around in a deadly fashion

My body and my mind are a disaster
and there's no refuge in sight

Ramblings of an anxious, depressed teenager.

Catherben Nov 2013

Stolen Heart: Part I

Blood gushes from my chest as you hold my heart in your hands
My soul aches each time you smear my blood on paper
I know what I had was meant to be shared
but I can't help but feeling like I've been wronged

This can be applied to a lot of things I've gone through recently; it's not necessarily about romance but can be interpreted that way.

Catherben Nov 2013

5am

Early in the morning, as the hive mind descends into slumber,
When most fall prey to sleep, a few neurone finally awaken;
The creative come out to paint dreams
And discuss the day's events free from the scorn of the logical.
Together they share a laugh as they rule over the dormant brain.

With a smaller audience
The shy learn to speak
And those present marvel
At the words that escape their lips.

Later in the day,
A smile exchanged,
Recognition of what transpired.

When the remains of their creations are discovered
Little can be done to defend it from biased eyes;
Yet neither shame nor regret is felt in the hearts of the creative,
Only anticipation for their time to come once more.

When tired eyes meet,
A sleepy nod exchanged,
A promise I meet up again
After a few nights of rest.

I won a poetry contest at my high school with this poem but it is literally about me and my friends making **** jokes online at five am...
This is a poem about trying to justify said **** jokes when my other friends woke up and saw them all over tumblr

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