I hate you because I hate myself

i have been deceived betrayed stabbed in my back and now all i do is look over my shoulder making sure no one their to hurt me who can i trust i was in pain but now I'm ****** and my blood lust is surging and I'm thirsting for a fight so stay away i know i will win so don't even tempt me once you loose my trust i will never look at you the same.

my life has slipped away i wish i had more to say but i just hold it it all in and thats what killed me i am too scared to confess how i feel i don't know why though i love them but i am scared how i effect the people i care about but who am i suppose to vent to a cheating girl or a friend who tells her over and over how he loves her and i am no good and how he cares and i don't who am i suppose to turn to i have nobody i can't trust anyone be cause they go and run and gossip and i have no idea what to do anymore i don't understand why i feel like a monster when i know I'm not the one doing wrong please someone end this nightmare end it please

1 cut, 2 cut, 3 cut, 4. cry for a while then cut some more. open cut, closed cut, cut scabbed over. drink away the pain, then cut again sober. old cut, new cut, cut dripping blood. drag the blade across and watch as it floods. cut on my wrist, cut on my thigh. wait til everyones asleep, then cut in the night. small cut, big cut, cut too deep. sit and watch as it continues to bleed. hi cut, bye cut, it keeps bleeding out. see you later cut, its over now

give me the gun and the bullet  I'll put it up to my head and pull it cause its suicide day and I'm the main performer in this parade scratch the gun give me a blade so i can slit my throat or my wrist isn't this wonderful life so bliss just kiss me at my funeral cause i won't live another day I won't make it through the night I'm using all my might I'm tired of putting up a fight easing my pain with zanies and gin I just wanna sleep so give me all the pills i'll take the whole bottles just for thrills what why you sad is it because I'm bad just give me another pill i bet you will thats how you try to save me not with love just with drugs the old me died he od on all these a.d.h.d medications i feel like its me against the world why me i just don't want to see i just want to die cause when i look into the mirror i see a brain washed teen with issues so **** me slowly cause the pills make me feel numb so i just want to feel anything even pain cause I'm insane so take out my brain cause i don't need it cause i go through my day like zombie just floating through the day this is how the world made me no one will cry when i die just cheer and shout that I'm out of this world so idc anymore cause I'm all ready dead can't you see my slit wrist and the bullet in my head