I hate being like this

I don't want my people to feel neglected, ever
But I don't always have the energy, the right amount of sanity, to be there for both them and myself
Without driving myself borderline crazy, without running myself into the ground
So I can't decide whether or not
To slip quietly out of their lives
For both their sake and mine
Because I don't want to be undependable, they deserve more
But when I try to be there for them and myself, I just can't seem to help but drive myself into the floor

I hope they understand my absence is in no way their fault

the number you wanted
you got it
so just smile and be thankful

finally, happiness after all of that truly unnecessary amount of stress.

and for what?

a step closer to perfection?

that's a painful journey with no destination

you thought this would sustain your happiness for longer than a breath
but after that sigh of relief you find yourself striving even harder still
towards

more or less

what is it
this nagging thing within me
more than just a voice in my head
less than the shakes
that makes you seem like the only thing I want
the only thing I need
is a sip, or hit
or two
or 10
somewhere around then I lose track
and can finally go to sleep

sleep, the one thing better than you lately

Oh, I can see you from the corner of my eye
Feel your familiar fingers brush past my shoulder

My dear old friend

Could you perhaps, not come by

Every time the days get shorter and darker

So many good things are to come despite your cast

And I can already feel you blotting them out with your ink

Even diluted, it ruins the picture

Please, kindly dear, keep your black holes away from my stars

cigarettes
brown liquor
paperbacks
a view of some woods
some rain
maybe a cup of tea

I could have wasted the majority of my life
Wasting mine
Risking mine
To make sure you were fine
Until I popped out our kid
(I am so sorry to be so ******, they would have been made from love, but maybe just a little too much desperation on our parts to not be alone)

I love you
But I think being apart may be for the best for all of us

Here and hypothetical

it hurts but it won't forever

it hurts but it won't forever

it hurts but it won't forever