In a world where good
is not good enough
and perfection is an end
never quite attained

          I am trapped

between living
to love with my whole heart
and toiling
in pursuit of alleged personal gain

To madness
the mind will be driven
that pursues
the impossible feat

          For it is trapped

by a vicious,
insatiable thirst
for an end
which man cannot achieve

I have followed
the paths of these mad minds
for as long
as my memory recalls

          And I'm trapped

between
your increasingly high expectations
and a desire
to abandon it all

I'm falling in love, but I'll never deserve you
for these ignorance-drenched things that I say
My mind grasps at phrases with which to approach you
                     But words only get in my way

I've never met a heart so beautiful
I wish my words could explain
my feelings for you, so deep, so simple
                      But words only get in way
                                                          ^my­

Dearest mystery,
I must tell you this
when you build up walls,
there is so much you miss

Dearest mystery,
I've tried it, you see
I blocked off the world
from the monsters in me

But oh, loveliest stranger,
you can't fool your heart
and even small paper tigers
will rip you apart

Dearest mystery,
Let go of your chains
you'll see when you do
only the best of you remains

i am realizing

how our time is fleeting
our days are ending
we are all dying

but i am realizing

that our time is not real
our days never were
only bodies die

i am recognizing

how we feel so physical
our trust is in the tangible
which turns to dust

but i am recognizing

that the physical is an illusion
the tangible is not real
and we are simply souls

     trapped in a matrix
     soon to be freed

a ***** bus
a faded road
a song that everybody knows

a text hello
a dying phone
a daydream of distant snow

a cloudless sky
a phosphate mine
an estimated travel time

an orange sunset
a melody line
a moment that's completely mine

I was crying
at that table
Tears were falling
on this page

Tears of lonely
desperation
Such, no ten-point scale
could gauge

I couldn't bear
the thoughts inside me
I thought I
would go insane

I couldn't find them
I couldn't find the words
To write away
the pain

     but I've done it now, so read it well
     because I finally broke your spell

How I loved you,
but I lost you
then I found
somebody new

and I tried him
but I likened
all his words and ways
to you

I enjoyed him
but not really
though he did
everything right

It was your kiss
that I longed for
as my lips told his
goodnight

When I left him
you came running
and for once
you held me true

And I honestly believed
that all I'd ever need
was
you

     but it lasted until mid July
     when you lacked the dignity to tell me why

You left me
in a hurry
but I should have known
you would

Because, dang,
those college girls
will give you things
I never could

     I was raised to be a lady
     not a lady of the night
    
But I wish you well
and hope
that all your wildest dreams
come true

And bless the heart
of each poor girl
who has to deal
with you

You don't know what you started
My heart first felt love because of you
Your kindness was so refreshing
Your joy was so sweet
And I never told you
that for over a year
no matter how I tried
my thoughts would always wander
to find
you

but you never knew.

I dreamed of your dark eyes
My heart melted at your bright smile
Your laugh made me dizzy
Your passions were so beautiful
And I loved you

but you never knew.

And when your college days are through
Should I ever again see you
Though my heart still wonders
if dreams really come true

You'll never know

that you never knew

that I was so
in love
with
you.