Photographs are weird
They seem so simple
But there are layers
Like the way each person in the photograph felt when it was taken
Or how they recall it
Or where they've gone since
And how it looks to you

You might look at it and feel happy because they are humans just like you and they are smiling
Or you might look at it and feel sad because they are humans just like you and they are smiling

Well, I don't feel happy or sad.
I'm just fascinated in imagining how you feel.
And somewhat nostalgic about how I've felt in all of those "simple"
moments that I'll never be a part of again

So
like most simple things
it wasn't simple at all.
It was complicated
Except it felt easy.

They told me to write a list of reasons to stay and a list of reasons to leave.
But I didn't do what they told me to.
Instead I made a list of reasons to stay.
I didn't include reasons to leave.
I still don't really know why.
Maybe, somewhere deep inside I never really wanted to leave in the first place.
Or maybe, the reasons just never existed.
I was sad.
But I never considered Sad a reason.
Sad introduces you to different parts of yourself.
And Sad helps you fall in love.
And Sad keeps you thinking.
Sad keeps you writing...
But this time, I didn't write it down, like they told me to.
I still don't really know why.
Maybe, I just couldn't find words to express all of the obscure ideas.
Like the idea about Sad.
How Sad became a reason to stay...
Maybe, I just didn't think they'd be able to understand ideas like that.
Or maybe, it was less than that.
Maybe it was just because paper gets lost
Or paper gets torn
Or paper gets thrown away
And maybe I just spent too much time feeling lost
Or torn
Or thrown away

And I think, I feared I might get lazy and stop adding on to the list had it been written.
So I just thought.
And I held it inside.
And I added on to it every day.
And I never left.

And at some point, I stopped thinking about leaving.
And then eventually, I stopped thinking about staying.
I still don't really know why.
Maybe, it was because I got so wrapped up in living that it no longer felt like an option.
Or something to consider.
*It just was.
I just was.
And that was okay.
And okay was enough.

Take me away.
I want to feel the wind grabbing,
pulling at my hair
through the open air
on a starry night.

Help me escape.
Let's go to a new town,
change our hair,
answer to Lucy and Iris,
the girls with no past.

Live the way we're supposed to.
In that ****** apartment,
with the one bedroom.
We'll use candles for lights,
and have just the essentials.

Let's make bad choices.
We can fall in love with the rugged,
damaged.
Because if we get in too deep,
we'll just leave again.

We'll just escape.
We can decide on a new town,
change our hair,
and answer to Willa and Alice,
the girls with no past.

your screams are running through the airwaves
and nothing has ever sounded more beautiful
i could never forget the way you looked that night
when our eyes locked, yet the moment fades

i was searching for an escape babe
yet sobriety’s never been more coveted  
your bittersweet melodies freed me on that night  
you overtook me, and i was saved.

I want you to take another hit, another sip,
forget me.

I want you to smoke one more cigarette,
without me.

I want you to lie awake at night, thinking,
of not my face.

I want you to picture someone new,
in my place.

I want you to loathe,
any idea of what was.

I want you to know,
that this is what a broken girl does.

Indulge in your sinful habits,
foggy memories, forgotten nights, take my place.

When you look at me, feel hate.
Or feel nothing, I'm nothing but a basketcase.

For I am lost, in the world of moving too fast, to just moving on.
Stroking your innocence, ignorance.

I want you to take another hit, another sip,
be tempted to forget me, and all my sweet belligerence.