it had an attitude, so very backwards
on rainy days, it was friendly
spared the splinters
on sunny days, it was angry
gave me splinters like acupuncture
minus the goal to alleviate pain
it liked to yell as I swung back and forth
screached as I pumped my feet
pumping my feet to my heartbeat
I held my breath for fear of becoming off beat
it liked to cry, especially in the morning
I gallop through the misty grass
it's tears glisten with morning sun
my favorite air is the wet kind
when a slight chill tickles your nose as you inhale
but it was also my least favorite air
it made my swing set cry
I asked mom if I could take it inside
she said it liked being outside
but she'd never seen it's tears
it had an attitude, so full of life
now, that backyard has no life
because my swing set died

short and thin
thick feathers dancing in the wind
sitting on the gate
statue face
how hard I try making my eyes as wide as your own
deep black sky, eating away time
soon to fly again
for now each of my limbs lay stiff
widening my shoulders for you
land here, if you'd like
sitting on the gate
fixated stare
how hard I try making my stare pierce as yours does
taunt me
tantalizing, your allure so magnificent
I'll be the field mouse, if you'd like
sitting on the gate
time to fly away
see you tomorrow, same time

I liked how you would breath,
little lies into the atmosphere
hoping for them to land,
in an innocent ear
when an innocent ear,
hears of pain,
it turns her vains, inside out
she starts to suffer,
from a drought of blood
but I still liked how you would breath,
little lies into the atmosphere
made me feel, real
as they reached my innocent ear,
and my veins turned inside out
I started to doubt, you
but I still liked how you would breath,
little lies into the atmosphere

we made dandelions cry
until their tears painted golden suns in our skies
we made butterflies fly
until their wings made a breeze cold enough
gave us a reason to cuddle
we made rain clouds run away
until there were no more left to threaten our perfect day

we stole the world
you said you needed a canvas,
so I gave you a planet
ran around with our backpacks filled,
with paper smiles attached to strings
when we came across a frowning face,
all we had to do was hold our strung smiles
cover their frown, didn't want to taint our eyes with sadness
if ever your eyes seemed to dim,
I would ****** a star from the sky,
kiss it softly and sprinkle it like glitter
all over your body, let me cover you with shine

we counted blades of grass
until our minds intertwined like vines
we counted sidewalk cracks
until we traveled so far our feet started to resemble them
we counted each freckle, blemish, and scar
until all we saw was perfectly imperfect beauty

when things get real
tack covered pavement
sticky shadows pulling limbs
destined to be torn down the middle
breathe in pain, take it out of the world
add to the core, I can handle more
they surround you, call out for me
for I will come running
fire in eyes yet still they water
what I would give to fix you
the battle you fight, is inside
scream in the night
they lie in your head, the monsters
I told them to go
little did I know, they are you
different you, I've never seen
what I would give to fix you
you make love to the monsters in your head
but you said, you hate them
you made me crazy,
you taught me,
no more trying to fix,
sometimes you just can't fix

never have I ever...

been in love...

so many people have I loved
my short 19 years proven fruitful
yet, it'd be a shame to ascertain
that I have actually, factually
certainly and definitely
been, in love  
I have loved whole heartedly
But in love, no, sorry
people ask if I have been
answer "nope" with a smile
squinted eyes, furrowed brows
figure I'm lying,
everyone has been in love with someone...
guess I'm the exception to the rule
the odd one in the bunch
I'll let you in, on a little secret
falling in love shouldn't be rushed
wanting a fairytale, wanting it now
I guess I missed the tutorial on how
I didn't look at Disney movies that way
maybe that part skipped over my brain
regardless of how you thought it worked

never have I ever...

been in love...

found so much life, in inanimate objects
how I define imagination
give me play kitchen
plastic food, small empty boxes
label pretzels, popcorn, cake mix, candy
stickers for buttons, my mouth makes the sounds
imagination heat cooked my hotdogs
while imagination water moistened my sink
every shelf and cabinet filled to the top
no one starves with imagination food
5 course meals, cook in five minutes
each dial turns with a click
turn right for high, left for low
"DON'T BURN THE EGGS, HEATHER!!"
no time to buy more, the store, is closed
In my kitchen we reuse, everything
when you finish those eggs,
put them back in the fridge
when box of popcorn is gone,
back to the cabinet it goes
they said "perpetuating gender stereotypes"
well my play kitchen,
never said "you must cook for a man"
as I served my dinosaurs and dolls,
I remembered cooking is for all
smile at you while my brother cooks beside me
my play kitchen held so much life
actually, it still does