Stop telling me vulnerable and weak are the same thing.

sometimes all there is, is dark
the sky, the room, the eyes
sometimes all there is, is pain
the heart, the mind, the body
guilty of being human
humming because you forgot the words
the words, humiliating
guilty of trusting first
you don't have to earn mine
I earned stripes on my back
stripes, from being burned
guilty of loving hard
not knowing you but loving you anyway
any way you could hurt me, you did
did you know, my heart isn't glass
my heart is steel in a pretty pink case
steel can get cold easily
so I love unconditionally
love undoubtedly
love without sorry
guilty of over analyzing glances
gouging out my eyes
putting them in my palms
passing them off as marbles
little glassy ***** with a sprinkle of color
rolling my eyes over to you
you tell me what a glance means
because now you have my eyes, both of them
in your palms to roll back to me
I gave you my glance, now give me yours
guilty of giving away time
you want some of my time
here you go, like a free pen
you use it when you need it
the rest of the time its lost and useless
it took me so long to realize
time doesn't come back
every second lost when a new one is gained
again and again
second lost second gained until
no more seconds gained
guilty of being me
this is who I am
I am human
I trust first
I love hard
and over analyze glances
I give away time
and sometimes all there is, is dark
sometimes all there is, is pain

You underestimate the power of your words
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"
Oh no, they run deep
when did compassion fly out the window and hatred step thru
Iv'e been through this many times in my head
"It doesn't matter what they said, it isn't true let it go"
but they know that what they say hurts, after all that is why they said it
Your words hit me like a train, full speed ahead on the humiliation express
we've learned to suppress what you say, hide it deep in the back of our minds
minding our own business, while you pick and scrape at the flesh that holds us together
because it isn't perfect
open your eyes, clear your mind, look in a mirror if you must
but yours isn't either
I'm in an empty room
It's all white, no windows or doors, the floor is cracked
Your words, crawl out of the cracks like slithering serpents
They sound like sirens screaming
I run
When they catch up I open my mouth to scream
But nothing comes out they slide their way into my mouth down my throat
And land in my stomach like a brick
They tear through my flesh to find a way out
They did their damage, it's time to move on to the next victim
They slither away, leaving me alone with a hole in the centre of me
Feeling vulnerable, empty
They took away everything I had inside all the things I was using
All the things I was saving for a rainy day
Now everyday is rainy
I still see the teeth of your words in every raindrop
And they say
"Sticks and stones may break my bones. But words will surely **** me"

"When you stopped wishing things wouldn't fall apart, you'd stop suffering when they did"
John Green
when I have kids I won't want them to suffer
so I'll tell them, things fall apart
things crumble like cookies in milk
sand castles meeting salty feet
wooden swing sets worn thin and fragile
by kids who never thought a swing set could die
maybe if they'd have known that things fall apart
they wouldn't have swung so long, pumped their feet so hard
but that wouldn't have mattered after all
because everything falls apart
when I have kids they will know what it means to accept
acceptance isn't always agreeing, you can disagree with every fiber of your being
but you can still accept
acceptance is recognizing what being human looks like
what being human feels like
what being human means
when I have kids I'll tell them love isn't right or wrong
love isn't a puffs tissue "ultra soft and strong"
love is after all a battlefield
but you don't have to bring guns and knives
you can bring open arms and an open mind
your choice, but you have to chose
and I will do my best to prep you for battle
I will tell you I love you always
give you a million reasons to smile
remind you of worth, your worth
not a price tag
there is no discount on feelings and flesh
love isn't buy one get one free
it's the 99 cent box of assorted chocolates
some good, some bad
but you find yourself eating them all
yes, I just compared love to a box of chocolates
but I thought it was relatable and you would get it
so, when I have kids I will tell them to smile
because you can't fake a smile
it's the truest part of your face
and if all things good inside of you were truly lost
your mouth would forget how to smile altogether
so, smile
when I have kids they will know
no matter how hard life gets or how easy it seems
things fall apart, you can always accept
love is a chocolate filled battlefield
and smiling, smiling is always real
because it tells the world
"Hey, I'm right here!"

The worst kind of man, is a man with a deflated ego
Now it is easy to **** the rich, thick, pompous air from their egos
Because it's all too fragile
These egos were made fragile because they stood on bones of so many others they didn't need to be strong
Everyone else holding them up allowing them to caress the clouds while
We crumble from the weight of their world
You see I don't hate men I simply despise their brains
Those matter filled masses inhabiting their skulls
Taking up space but not filling the space with something worthwhile
The worst kind of man, is a man who has learned the word "sorry"
Sorry meet sarcasm, sticky fingers, and silence
Stripping the comfort from the word and giving it a smirk
Smacking me in the face with a word I was taught to use when I was wrong
When I wanted to give comfort to a friend
When I wanted to cry away the pain and leave a hole to fill with a smile
But you gave me a smirk and an empty word
The worst kind of man, is a man who has those kind of eyes
The ones that tell you what you want to hear while his mouth breaths fire down your neck
And burns your flesh until you scream
Until your skin bubbles over creating a mold around yourself
Made of yourself but tainted with his sting
The kind of eyes that don't seem like eyes they seem like caves
So empty, and what are you do to, fill them of course
And that's why you ignore the burning
Ignore the mold, ignore the smell of you sizzling away as smoke
Filling his lungs as he breaths you in only to release you as waste, unwanted air
You thought he needed you to survive but his lungs are doing just fine
While you, trapped, left to wash away the layers of you two as one
He's gone but you still feel the burn of the worst kind of man