Do you remember what’s her name?
From the Little Mermaid?
She was 50% octopus
30% Janet Reno
And 20% Elton John
Well, she used to be my choir teacher
Only I never really learned how to sing
Because I would spend each class period
Trying to avoid her tentacles
“LOUDER!
You sound like you’re underwater!”
Oh, I thought you already knew?
I hope you don’t think
I was trying to insult Elton
By comparing him to a monster
Because
For a witch
For a monster
She did have a great set of pipes

I was given
Death’s stone stare
And I couldn’t help
but
ssssnickerrrr
As I resumed
The sin of life

Girl, wait. Don't you interrupt me.

Keep your comments to yourself
I’ll keep my bullets to the side
Through the center of President Ford’s head
Gerald Fordhead
Gerald Forehead
President Gerald Ford’s forehead
You want grey matter?
You get a miscalculation
In flashy red and blue
You heard a squeak
You know it’s me
Charlie never taught me how to surf
Charlie doesn’t even know how to surf
But then again, who does?
If I belong in the ocean
Then why do I have these hips?
Sorry, too much information
Please look the other way
And you’ll hear me
As I squeak
Squeak away

Real men don't tie their shoes
or wash their hands before eating
but should revert back to the Stone Age
at least three days a week

Get em while they're hot
and bothered
bit of an eyesore
quite an inconvenience
never a good idea
We're big
but we sure as hell ain't happy

There was an automobile accident
that painted the town red
with a splash of gray.
No need to linger,
really,
move along
there’s nothing to see here
that you haven’t seen before