I could sit on a mountainside alone,
breathe in the heather.
The warm wind taking cares from my brow.
The granite shielding my soul.
The far reaching sea wind waking me.

In the safety of that wild space
I could bare my soul.
Grieve the lost child and give thanks to those that were found
and if I put one foot
in front of the other
it will raise me up.

I won't think of you incessantly
worrying
waiting for my sky to fall.
Feeling the love you hold back
a deficit.

It's so soon that you cannot look me in the eye.
That silence that sits between us
Screaming of my failings.

If no space can really be empty
Why can I feel
this hollowness in me
Why can I hear the echoes of old voices

I feel this life un-lived, spent wishing itself away.

You,
Can never see,
What I see (When I look at You !)
There is no mirror big enough
to reflect
All that is there.
You could look into my eyes
for a thousand years
And might never reach the depths  where you lay
within me.
But, feel free to try !

Anything in Brackets I am debating whether to include..

You amaze me !
You make me believe in God.
Because from the moment you first arrived,
In that moment you first opened your eyes
I saw in them
The wisdom of a thousand years and the innocence of knowing the world for only one minute.
Every moment since has been more
precious, and I have been grateful.
You are a gift,
(And Though I have struggled)You make me believe in God.
Because there is no way that something so wonderful could have
come just from me!

Your eyes, though people say they are mine,
are more
they are beautiful, hopeful
sparkling with happiness.
and
They light up my world

You are kind, good, wise beyond your years
and when you cry I want to drink your tears,
I want to drink up all that sorrow and
take it away.

(I will be there for you always
though sometimes I may step back
Like in your younger days,
in the store, when you wanted to explore
and I'd let you run away, always keeping you
in my sight, yet where you couldn't see
but I'd always be there,
when you wanted me.)

(And when you have problems, I may not always fix them
but I will help you find the ways to.
So that you can see, that it is in you.
You need to know all the answers are in you.)

Though I never want you to have your heart broken,
I want you to know, it can be fixed.
And if at times people don't see how
truly, deeply beautiful you are
(Pay them no mind)
They are blind
Don't let them change you
don't let doubt creep in
Be yourself, stay in control
follow your soul.

Who you are
Is who you are meant to be.
(You are not here to meet the expectations of others.)
You can be a doctor, truck driver, waitress,
artist,  pilot, explorer
All, or none of the above.
You can marry and have a family (of your own)
You will always be my child
And I will always Love you


I will love you more that there are leaves on the trees, feathers
on birds, sand on the beach, drops
of rain on a wet wet day in Connemara.
I will love you for longer than it takes
for mountains to form and get worn away
And long after we are all gone, there will still be
a resonance where we've stood
of what I feel for you.

You amaze me !
You make me believe in God.
Because from the moment you first arrived,
In the moment you first opened your eyes
I saw in them
The wisdom of a thousand years and the innocence of knowing the world for only one minute.
And every moment since has been more
precious and I have been grateful.
You are a gift,
(And Though I have struggled)You make me believe in God.
Because there is no way that something so wonderful could have
come just from me!

( Your eyes though people say they are mine,
they are not
they are beautiful,they are hopeful
they sparkle with happiness and
they light up my world )

You are kind, good,wise beyond your years
and when you cry I want to drink your tears,
I want to drink up all that sorrow and
take it away.

I will be there for you always
though sometimes I may step back
Like in your younger days
In the store, when you wanted to explore
and I'd let you run away, always keeping you
in my sight yet where you couldn't see
but I'd always be there when you found that
you wanted me.

And when you have problems, I may not always fix them
but I will help you find the ways to.
So that you can see, that it is in you.
You need to know all the answers are in you.

Though I never want you to have your heart broken,
I want you to know, it can be fixed.
And if at times people don't see how
truly, deeply beautiful you are
(Pay them no mind_)
They are blind
Don't let them change you
don't let doubt creep in
Be yourself, stay in control
follow your soul.

Who you are
Is who you are meant to be.
You are not here to meet the expectations of others.
You can be a doctor, a truck driver, a waitress,
a musician, an artist, a pilot, an explorer
All or none of the above.
You could marry and have a family of your own
But you will always be my child
And I will always Love you
I will love you more that there are leaves on the trees, feathers
on birds, sand on the beach, drops
of rain on a wet wet day in Connemara.
I will love you for longer than it takes
for mountains to form and get worn away
And long after we are all gone, there will still be
a resonance where we've stood
of what I feel for you.

Anything in Brackets I am debating whether to include..

I know that you
are at my door
and I don't need to feel on my own anymore
I can lay my head on your shoulder
I can
If I need you will pick me up and dust me off
And when things lighten up
You
will hear my laughter
and share it.
You inspire, so much I desire.
You seem to see
something in me
that no reflections can show
but I know
You are waiting at my door
I just need to let you in.

I have stood before you
                                    Smiling and loving
I have laid beside you
                                    Naked and blushing
I have knelt behind you
                                    Pleading and begging
I have cowered beneath you
                                   shaking and crying
I have closed my eyes
              bared my soul
              quenched my dreams
              lost my pride
but deep inside
( I now see)
Always me.
Always true
So unlike you

(STRANGE, BUT TRUE)

We moved into the old cottage, a new family
I suppose a new phase in its history.

My son,who'd  not yet reached one year old
yet 'He's been here before' we'd often been told
Had seemed, as much as a babe can
to have the air of a wizened old man.

Twas in the same room where he's great grandfather had slept
safe and warm and carefully kept
twas there a long long time before
he would sound his own peculiar snore
where each breath  taken in
said
'Jesus, Mary and Joseph' when released again

It was there my child stirred that night
my ears alert,but my head holding tight
to those shrouds of precious sleep,
waiting to see if he would settle or weep.

But, his soother fallen to the floor
I heard his gentle cry once more
then
over the crackle of the intercom
I heard
a voice that spoke the gentle words
'Hush, good boy....It's okay'
soft and deep and clear as day.
My heart and breath stopped as one
frozen stiff
now silence hung

When fear released its hold on me
I leaped from bed and ran to see
my child
sleeping peacefully

He may have sat in that room each night,
gentle presence out of sight
and spoke to the only one of us who knew
that though life and death they may be true
nothing ends and nothing goes
it just blends into the shadows.

You gave me the dream
of a smile
soft and silent
It pounded through my heart
stirred my soul
where
my love was lost forever
In your eyes
In my mind
Our thoughts crossed paths
and our souls intermingled
For a brief flashing moment
I dreamed no more
You were here, close and warm
shaking
like me
That's all I wanted.

I am a woman,
    of no importance.
I am invisible to the world,
    I won't leave a dent
    in the future or the past.
(depending on where you're looking from)
I am not wise,
    no-one seeks my advice
I am not the great love of any ones life
    though I am a wife.
I am a mother
    beautiful, beautiful children
look at them, they are the sum of my achievements
but all animals can breed and raise their young.
My basic instincts are strong
    that is all.
I am a light shade of grey,
    semi transparent.
It would barely be noticed if I disappear
Though dinner might be late
Dinner, breakfast, lunch, dinner, Tea or coffee ?


Sometimes chopping onions really makes me cry..
I am a woman of no importance.