He has lips
That can make a girl's knees
Turn to water
So everyone ignores
The other things about him.

Take a deep breath because it's not her fault
Even though there's no one else to blame,
And I'd rather blame her than anyone else.
Because she's mediocre in every respect.
And the poor deluded *****, she just doesn't see.
She doesn't seem to notice the level of his indifference,
And yet she's taking him away from me.
She doesn't deserve him,
And he shouldn't stoop to her level.
Because he's all she ever talks about,
All she ever thinks about- she's obsessed.
It's crazy, and I wish he'd see that.
Not so that I can have him back, exactly.
It's more-
If I can't have him,
No one can.

She felt a pang in the pit of her stomach
Like getting punched hard in the gut
Because there was his picture in her newsfeed
Again smiling at the camera like he used to
Smile only for her

Six months, seven months, ten months gone
It's stupid and pointless to miss him.
Like the Ring of Fire he won't be back
In this life time even though she never
Even got a deep look at him

But loath curse love those firsts
Those scars that fade with time
But never totally disappear
Even when no one else can see them
They'll always be there

There you are
Sitting at the counter
With a girl.

A girl, the girl-
She's not that pretty.
She's a downgrade
From me, how could he.

Look at her-
With those stupid glasses and
Elaine Benes Hipster clothes.
After me, why would he.

Oh look-
A DSLR camera that I
Bet she doesn't know how to use.
Instead of me, why would he.

If I had known that was our last goodbye
I would have made it more dramatic, special
Maybe gazed into your deep blue eyes
And kissed you on the cheek- not the lips.
Lips and lust have no place in separation.

We fought for the 5th time this week.
I don't know what sparked your yelling,
But whatever it was-
It started a raging fire right in between us.
Your searing seething words are meant to be hurtful.
Like the fake apologies of a middle school girl,
They are meant to make me feel guilty.
And the words do hurt- but it's not shame that burns.
Am I horrible? Am I selfish?

We fought for the 10th time this month.
Our tear enducing "conversations" come in like the tide.
When the tide is low, you swallow your anger, your pride
Deep within you, but the waves always roll back in, and
With them comes your disgust- at me, at your own kin.
And you trap me on the shore, and force me to lie there-
Lie there and take your tidal wave words like the ultimately
Helpless, ultimately powerless daughter that I am.

One day we'll wake up, and this will all be over.
The rising seas will quench the raging fires, and
We'll be mother and daughter again.
But until then- you can't even look at me?
Until then- I can't even really speak to you. I talk
But I never speak, you listen but you never hear.
Until then I'll keep going to bed with out knowing what I did,
Keep smiling with sad eyes, because everything is alright.