The white noise in my ears just turned off and it was the first time I looked around for you and you weren't there.

It was the first time I noticed.

I hadn't been able to hear the emptiness in the room, but it's louder than I remember it.
It's going to keep me awake all night.
I'm going to blame you.

I want to be beautiful
the way a car wreck keeps your eyes.

I want to be a detonation.
I want to be what's left after a riot with guns.
I want to be gauze on burn victims.
I want to be blood spatter.
I want to be teeth marks.
I want to be the burn in the retina.

I want to be that beautiful
and terrifying.
So that you'll never forget me.
And even if you do, you won't.

You've got a beautiful soul, you know
but you need more love in your bones.
I can't help but notice, you're starved.
Your mouth waters and your lips crack
in fact, I feel your heart grumble like a stomach.
And it's not my business, but listen,
this kitchen is big enough for a dance.
And I'm not sayin' me,
I'm just sayin'.

Spit me the glitter of the tips of your fingers giving me goosebumps that stick to my insides and lie to me.
Give me a ride, you know I paid for it.
Send the bullet in so I don't duck when the gun goes off, somewhere straight through so it doesn't give me heartburn.
Make me grin my own poison.

Make me eat my words.

Wake me up.

I'm trying to send you letters in the air
the way the pirates did it when they were in love with the sea.

Writing letters to you is like throwing paper on water and hoping the ink doesn't bleed and you see, the sea, she's always in love with somebody else.

But she dances like she's single.

Why do you look at me that way?
Like I'm a bird that turned porcelain and fell out of the sky?

Today,
A woman in Afghanistan walked into her bedroom.
She poured a gallon of gasoline
on herself
and lit a match.
She set herself on fire
and collapsed on the bed
burning her husbands sheets
and melting her skin to the mattress.

She was screaming
and hoping
he would smell her death long after she went up.