Carly A: Favorites

May 2013 Carly A

Maddie Fay

I did that thing I do,
Where I push people away
Without even trying.
And I can't ever translate
The breathless and overwhelming love I feel for people
Into actions and words
Or anything all
That is visible to others.
So I constantly seem
Like I don't care,
Or I don't love,
Or I'm only being nice
Because
I'm high.

And I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

May 2013 Carly A

i don't think about you anymore

May 2013 Carly A

Maddie Fay

i don't think about you anymore

it takes approximately two months to fall out of love,
apparently

May 2013 Carly A

Cocaine Beautiful

May 2013 Carly A

Maddie Fay

******* Beautiful

And I don't dream about you anymore,
But I still get scared when someone pretends to hit me,
And I can still feel that empty ache in my chest
In the middle of the night.
And I talked ad nauseum about the things you did to me,
But only once about losing you.
How do I explain the secret beautiful parts
Of the boy with the scars?
How do I explain the difference between
The boy with the lovely words and utopian dreams
And the one who put my head through the drywall?
How the pain of having you
Will never come close
To the exquisite agony of knowing I will never see you again?
I loved you, at least a little bit,
And that matters,
Too.

Mar 2013 Carly A

Today

Mar 2013 Carly A

Maddie Fay

Today

And today,
I am me with no pretending,
Spread bare,
Torn open raw and bleeding.
Today, I am not a perfect mess for you to fix,
A riddle begging to be solved,
A player of games.
Today, I am not the hero,
The villain,
Or the martyr.
Today, I will not throw myself at your feet
Or lie and say I do not love you.
Today, I will be me,
Even if that isn't what you want.

Mar 2013 Carly A

Ghost

Mar 2013 Carly A

Maddie Fay

Ghost

Whisper words
And feather bones,
Lips like echoes,
Eyes like shadows.
Unbreakably ephemeral.

Silent steps
On carpet,
Night thief
With her cloak of stolen stars.

It is easy enough to pretend
She was never there
At all.

Mar 2013 Carly A

sweet nothings.

Mar 2013 Carly A

erin anderson

sweet nothings.

I can feel me transforming into what I was destined to be; a pile of bones.
There is no ending that I have not already imagined.
I've seen all my ghosts’ faces in recurring dreams,
They all have different faces, but called the same name.
I feel no air when I breathe,
No breeze when I walk, no clouds to float on.
An unfamiliar tune drowns out my brain's melody.
I hear it in my madness; its drawl I follow.
Drunken with the moon's slaves, to repent against the Sun.
My skeleton reveals a little more bone with each hand I take.
I am on my way to a destination where I will be free.
To bury my soul, and release my ghouls.
To stop my heart, and start my after-life.
To rest my mind, and awake my wolves.
To slumber in my madness,
And to live in my liberty.

Mar 2013 Carly A

Sunbeams

Mar 2013 Carly A

AC

Sunbeams

Sitting here with him
There is nowhere else
I would rather be.
Listening to his steady heartbeat
As I see the sunbeams dance on his hair.
The rays catching the corners
Of his blue green eyes
And my soul is in awe of the beauty
That he possesses.
If he only knew that at this moment
When I see him,
My mind is overwhelmed
By the simple extravagance
And exquisite wonders
That he carries so humbly within him.

Mar 2013 Carly A

indecisive

Mar 2013 Carly A

J

indecisive

When he posted that, did he think of palms clenched behind keyboards?
Or just of laughs and good times?
Of hearts full of jealousy and defeat?
Or only of that night?
Did I even occur to him once?
Of course not.
I can’t expect him to throw away that day for
Every
Last
Month
Of
His
Life
But it would be nice if he wouldn't forget.
It’s my fault he forgot, I know
I know I didn't let how I felt show
And I know I shouldn't shouldn't lie
But I wanted to be mature so I felt so inclined
Because he would never ever think of me like that
I don’t think
He doesn't care
I care enough for the both of us
I hope I never slip up and let it show
I hope he knows anyways
No I don’t
God help me

Mar 2013 Carly A

For Josie

Mar 2013 Carly A

Daniel Kenneth

For Josie

i loved a girl
with broken eyes
deep, sad
you could drown in them
and so i did
gasping for breath
as she pulled me under

i loved a girl
with too many scars
reminders of battles i could not help her win
with every tracing by my fingers
i wished to erase
any and all of her pain

i loved a girl
from a broken home
yelling parents
alcohol consumed
i tried to be an island
a steady rock
an alternative to the misery of her house

i loved a girl
and gave her my all
so it killed me harder
to watcher her fall
into this pit of sadness and addiction
and as i sit here in pain, wishing i could have saved her
i wondered if loving anyone
was worth it

Mar 2013 Carly A

Happy

Mar 2013 Carly A

Annmarie Ross

Happy

I try not to
I try not to hurt
not to feel
not to love
I try to only be happy
because that's all you want
that's all you want of me
but I can't
I can't be only happy all the time
it's not human
and I'm human
I need to feel
I try not to cry
not to be selfish
not to be vain
but I am anyway
and so are you
and so is everyone else in the world