At 15 I was wandering, drifting from place to place, moving in and being evicted. Never the fault of the landlord, always the tenant.

I wish that you knew I still reach out for you
But you’re not here
Not even in spirit
I wish that you knew how much I love you
But you don’t want to hear it
I wish that you knew I can’t sleep alone
But you’re my home
Now I’m nowhere near it

When I was 15 I purchased a home
I wasn’t in the market and the value was unknown
The floor plan was cramped, the walls painted dark, the greenery overgrown
The walls built up cast shadows into dim corners

For three years I worked
Brightening color schemes, opening curtains, letting some light in,
Increasing the sale value, for someone to buy it

After all this work I finally decided
I would no longer remodel myself for someone else to reside in,
I would only create a home to live my life in
I continuously work on building my home to match my needs,
I will not care if the neighbors hate my landscaping,
I opened my floor plan by tearing down walls
I made do with my home, despite it was small
When I am in my small home, completely rebuilt, I live in a mansion

When you talk about leaving
I can't help my breathing
My throat's constricting
My heart's rapid beating
All these things you're not seeing
Because you'd never believe me

I'm lying in bed while you're miles away,
I'm typing this out to beg you to stay,
I'm holding you back, but I don't know how to say,
I love you in every possible way

We’re making life decisions
At only seventeen
But I’m stuck here wishing
You would choose to stay with me

Im younger than I’ll ever be
And older than I’ve been
But what you don’t see
Is I am afraid to lead
Unless I drag you by the hand
My lips don’t know the words to speak
Unless you’re the one listening to me