hey every one
I've decided to **** my compactor
my professional lock
just a post
without digging a ditch
or
securing a post

hover like that in pink sky
the creature that lives off
blue sky

my heart aims
misses
my lungs
breathe
misses

and i'm supposed to call you
what again
oh yes
out of respect

Anger, no.:  just like me
Passion.: yet distant and false
Death discussions

long live all


it misses
struggles to me then and to everyone

the stunner is the death he holds inside
the way he takes you out of your body
and places you down softly on the dirt

work for rest
rest for work
the masks we wear
have almost worn out
and its only left
to the rubber straps around your ears
to keep the act together

glow
like a worm
**** up the moonlight
distill it so i can drink from the sun

your hopeless floating voice
and the dream
other things and so much more dream
the disjointed
apologetic

hurtfull
mostly pain
and its only my pleasure to help it get worse

bye bye valentine
you said i was the puppy that everyone wants to touch
but
i wont let them
you were the one with perfect posture
and it makes us all want it
you were the one with all the "**** me"
in you
and you sacrifice it all for yourself
like a feral dog or cat
him as a self reliant fool
me as the everyone else
my sense of possession
my harmless diseases
themselves apparent in waning gibbous moonlight

the mildly pretty one who says
can i get in there?
of course you can
but here in this empty place
even though you're gorgeous ( everyone forgets about beauty and feeling)
even when your that
you're still that
and there might not have conscious

as she sat next to me everyday
i didn't say a word
not because i was afraid of what she could say
but because i knew what she couldn't say


and to think of the parched mind as supplement to my heart beating
take all you need to drown your to your hearts content
the mildew we sprinkled on pretty days
mold inside the walls threatening to bring the health department in
and shut the place down

insect wings wetted by spit flying from your mouth
from talking too much
we're here up in the big blue silver lining waiting for you to come home
waiting for the hammer to come down

we know each other now
and even our sleepless nights are punctuated by thoughts and dreams of each other

the kitchen counter has been disinfected
we don't have interns here
they didn't clean it
because there is nothing to promise them

i am truly afraid to have children
not because i know they will grow up
it is because they will grow up
and
they will
hate me
but because it is too easy to see that
there is nothing left for them
its pathetic and easy to forget our victories
the value of the scent in your hair that soothes me

i ruin it, potentially

she looked at me blankly
i only saw the floor
she said something softly
but my ears couldnt catch the air she moved with her beautiful lungs and ugly lips
now there is light
and i feel airy
ive been blinking too much
or maybe making sand castles
but she told me
there's only one way down

colors we saw when we were kids are gone now
there was vitrified rock
a volcano maybe
even an unidentified blast

he ran at me like a terrified dog
i tried to help my son
but by the time we got to the hospital
he was already gone

why this desert?
why are there no insects?

human records exist
they always die trying to escape

in the geographic pattern
animal occurances
time dialted beauty

what or where is my eraticism
petrol, eayon, venus , mars , off kilter

steady magnetic stream
my compass stables

pulse
pulse
we
all get magnet affected

swarms of little biting creatures at my ankles
smokey eye talent for your cover up
camoflauging your heart
or the thing thats there now
that you used to call the heart

i saw you naked
i saw you in bed

when i close my eyes i see showers of little water droplets cleaning you off
so i wont be able to smell
the smell of you getting ******
should i be worried?
should i care?

probably not
because i know where youre at
and its the same on my end
theres no blame here
how can there be
where all of us are categorically wronged against

acting accordingly
stapled up hearts trying to bear full loads of wet tears but at the same time trying to perform
what too many consider to be the proof of love

could you stay with me until the gold appears?
when i die its all yours
the big fat math problem in my bank account