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I don't know where
        I'm going
    or quite exactly
            where I want to be.

             I just know that
my feet keep moving,
                  my heart keeps beating,
      and there's nothing
              standing
            in my way.
Anxiety is a thing that will rob your lungs,
Of your breath of life.

It's a thing that has no heart and,
No compassion for worldly things,
Such as:
Age,
Place,
Or time.

Anxiety is difficult.

One second you may be sitting there fine,
With not a worry in the world...

And then your heart stops.

And proceeds to go a mile a minute,
Without any concent from you.

It takes over and controls you,
Pulls you inside,
Until you are nothing more,
Than a weak membrane,
Within your new surrogate mother.
Anxiety.
b.
By the end of the night my mascara leaves black smudges under my eyes because I spend so much time looking down.
I think there is some poetry to be found in the blackness that stains my face, but I have become too tired to find beauty in the ugly moments.

There is no beauty in the bugs that travel frantically around my veins,
Or the *** stained memories of drunken kisses,
The darkness hiding behind the pedophiles that live under my bed is raw ugliness.    
         It is not beautiful that I think so much
about *******.

And my desperate need to be desired is vile; it is not poetry.

I will never be able to write poetry...

I have been up for 2 days worrying about infinity and I am
ugly.
I have spent all of my life worrying about an invisible father,
rhyming words and built up anger.

this is it.

I will only believe in the beautiful things now,
Like my mothers face.
and a kiss on the shoulder at midnight,
I have spent far too long in the dark, to put my faith into unseeable light.
"We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness"

— The End —