Nothing is permanent
Our love can be a vestige
Of something that once was
A forgotten shadow in the hallway
A grain of salt
And insect
I can erase us
I can erase you
You aren’t rooted at my bedside
And an “I love you”
Doesn’t work as a placement holding card..

Somewhere on the outskirts of my mind
is a train station that leads anywhere...
...anywhere away from here
...here... where all those jumbled screws and knots exist
but sometimes the train isn't enough
and I wonder why I can't just fly away
from all the noise?

Lover dearest, here I lay
On the bed where you once slept
I can hear your soft, soft breathing
When I pretend the pillow is your chest
And when the sheets don't feel as soft
As your breath against my hair
I move down on to the floor
and let my thoughts turn into air

the Disappointment lingers
because the Aftermath was bitter
Why can't you admit that you're the one to blame?

I'm on the rocks; on the edge
and off balance; off kilter
I'm going to fall
and then I'm going to land
somewhere on my head
upside down and right side up
or maybe backwards
or in another dimension
and maybe the other me will be better
and more put together
or maybe I'm the same in all realms
and if that's so then I'm hopeless...

Sometimes I dream of two large doors
But the doors are really mountains
And I’m stuck in between them
Floating in a sea made of dirt
And I can’t swim in dirt
Because I only know how
To swim in water
And I can’t move mountains
Because I only know how
To open doors
And I feel like I will float forever
But eventually dreamers wake up

Because all dreams end eventually

Today is a shade of gray

And it’s making my motivation milky
And turning my appendages into frozen meat
Because I don’t feel like leaving the bed
Yes, I could try to make amends
With my legs and my feet
But the sheets are like butter
And my pillows are marshmallows
And the mattress is this soft crust
And you can’t bake a pie without the filling
And I’ve got to be the filling!

So my bed is where I'll stay