His body over mine, so dominant.
Clothes on the floor.
His brown eyes seduced me.
His voice enchanted me.
His touch made me shiver.
His warmth of his skin upon mine
as he caressed my body.
The still of the night.
The way he held me so close and
tight.
His lips on my soft translucent skin.
His kisses down my neck.
I trimble.
Something about this man
Something about the night
There is something here I don't
want to fight.

He is no ordinary lover.
He is a ******* storm
Beautiful but seemingly dangerous.
Like a mad, mad hurricane that sweeps
me off of my feet.
That swallows me his deep dark eyes.
Only he could touch the empty space of my soul.
Only he can steal the heartbeat from my chest.
He is the only one that can make my whole body shiver.
I want him.
He has too much soul to be handled by someone who has never been passionate before.
I want to drown him in passion and ravish
him every night of forever.

I walk around with a paper smile.
So fake, so unreal.
That is what you do when you forgot how to feel.
I wear my paper smile with pride.
I have so much to inside hide.
Nobody understands.
Why try to make them?
Every time I do, they leave.
Nobody knows.
Why try to show them?
Every time I do, they run away.
Just wear my paper smile and everything
will just be...okay.

In a dark room, a little girl hid.
She clung to her doll.
Hungry and alone, she cried.
Why did no one love her?
Her mom left her for a gram,
and some other man.
Her dad abusive, and drunk.
She dug her way through bags of trash and junk.
Little girl wanted something to eat.
Daddy found her sent her to her room for
a beat.
"Don't tell anyone" he then said.
Sent the little girl back to bed.
She knew she had to be strong.
She knew her parents had done wrong.
She finally told her grandma.
She finally told the cops.
She was finally safe and her dad was stopped.
Yes, this is a real story you see.
This five year old girl, was me.

Two little hands, two little feet
two hearts beat inside of me.
Ten fingers, ten toes
who will you be God only knows.
I pray you'll have a smart mind.
I pray you will treat people kind.
All I know for sure is little one you
are mine.
I pray when I grow old,
you will remember what you where told.
I can't wait until it is you I can hold.
I will teach you all you need to know.
I will watch you play and grow, happily.
I can hardly wait for the day, that it is you I will first see.
Your mommy I will always be.

You are the sun that shines bright throughout my day,
You are the gravity that holds me down in every way.
You are the moon that shimmers throughout the darkest night,
You are stars that glimmer oh so bright.
You are the oxygen that keeps me alive,
You are my heart that beats inside.
You are the blood that flows through me,
You are the only guy I can see.
You are my one and only,
You stop me from being so lonely.
We plan our future as if we have a clue,
I never want to lose you.
I want you to be my husband and I want to be your wife,
I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

A thousand miles, yes I know, is pretty far
to walk, go by train, plane or car.
But I would just feel his arms
wrapped around me, his warm embrace.
I would swim across oceans,
for miles and miles
Just see that boy smile.

See it but never feel it.
Get close, only to push it away.
“Don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone”
Epitome of my life.
What is wrong with me?
What makes me so un-lovable?
Can someone remove this defective sign from my forehead,
And replace it with a kiss.
I want more than mediocre.
I want someone to miss.
Do I ask for too much?
Are my requirements unachievable?
My heart remains unconquered, unattained.
I’m tired of fairy tale endings,
Silly thoughts put in my head by unrealistic, but hopelessly believable movies.
They are all the same.
Girl meets boy. Girl messes it up. Boy forgives girl.
Happily Ever After.
At least they let on that relationships have problems.
I want raw, unrelenting love.
The real deal.
No movie, novel, or episode of “*** and the City” could ever touch.
Left alone, drowning in thoughts,
Who else in the world could need love,
Like I need love?

I love your voice,
your soft brown hair.
I love your eyes
and love your stare.

I love your laugh,
your cocky smirk,
your stupid jokes.
You precious ****,
you know I do love you.
I want my hands
all through your hair
each treasured strand.
I’m wrapped around
your finger still.
Am I yet yours?
Your love does ****
the things I hold
so close to me
and yet you’re the
best **** I see.

I need to be better,
I **** at math,
I don’t want to disappoint the people I love.
Please make it all stop.
go away, go away,
I’m so **** ugly,
My head hurts,
Why would he ever like me?
I’m a b**.
I’m so negative.
I don’t want these thoughts,
I don’t want to be spoiled and hate my life.
I have it good.
But I can’t.
Please make it all stop.
Too many tears,
this self hatred swirling around in me just builds.
I love life,
but it’s distorted by shadow and flame.
Please make it stop.
Someone please give me a hand out of this dark.

Society mocks abstinence
but God detests all fornicators.
God gives us sacred purity
society offers ***.
God says to love everyone,
yet he loathes homosexuals
in the bible they stone people,
and feed people to lions.
society says be yourself,
yet laughs in your face.

Some people
believe in destiny.
That everything
is what it is
meant to be.
And nothing can ever change that.
Someday everything we have done
to make this world ours,
will be destroyed.
And that will be it.
Just like that, in a blink of an eye
it will be over.
And they are okay with that.
I like to think of
free-willed people
as rebellious,
not caring what anyone thinks.
They are stubborn,
and in their mind
they believe what is meant to be will be
even if they know at some point everything that
happens in their life time will be pointless.
Because at some point this world will end.

The cuts on your wrists, pain in your eyes.
Little girl, don't you see I was just like you?
Scared and alone.
No where to go.
Ugly they did call me,
but if they really saw me they would see,
the beauty.
And you are just like me.
Hold your head high, things will get better.
Keep pushing on through the stormy weather.
It is hard to be thirteen.
I remember it so clearly, how their words did hurt me
You are not alone.
You don't need expensive jeans, or shiny, pretty things.
Just be true to who you are, you will go so far.
Just put the blade away, you deserve a better way.
Everything will be okay.

These wounds, they still drip red.
I still cannot find a way out of this dark gray bed.
Stuck here with the painful memories inside my head.
These wounds, they wouldn't be so hidden
if you would take the time to find who I am
Drifting in your own sea, so far away from me.
These wounds, they can't heal
You just made me forget how to feel
I can only take so much
feeling heartless and cold to the touch.
These wounds, still drip red

I miss you,
I miss you so bad.
I remember you laying in
the hospital bed
last words that I said
I love you.
I miss you, I miss you
so bad.
I didn't tell you
thank you for all of those
things that you did.
You made me, you saved me.
and now I am thanking you
for that.
It's too late, I know.
I hope you can hear me.
I miss you.
I miss you, so bad.
All the times that we had,
the good and the bad
I will remember,
remember forever.
I hope you see me,
I hope you are happy.
But I love you,
Oh I miss you.
Miss you here today.
This pain never seems to fade away.
Just to hold your hand again,
just to hear you voice again
Momma, I miss you.

You are standing here telling me
how you still feel.
It was not too long ago
you let me go.
I moved on, but I miss
how you made me feel
invincible.
The summer nights,
just you and me.
Oh, you made me feel so free.
I miss the memories.
I miss your hands in mine,
your smile, your eyes.
If I told you I didn't love you
it would be lies.
I have to hold myself back,
tell myself no.
It's wrong.
But oh so right.

I close my eyes I think of the warm air
the smell of the trees.
My heart beat as you look at me.
We laid in a field beneath the stars.
This love was ours.
You took my hand
You took my heart.
We talked about life, our dreams
Our fears.
You took me home,
pulled me close
Kissed me,
Goodnight.
One summer night❤

Don't go just yet.
Let me get this off my chest.
I hope you find your dreams
in the city.
I just hope you'll miss me.
I hope you remember what it
felt like to kiss me.
Don't go just yet.
Loving you will never be a regret.
I know time is ticking by.
I just don't know how I'll
ever say goodbye.
I know that the day will
come.
I just don't want to let you
see me cry.
Just don't go just yet.
It feels like my heart is
ripping down the seams.
Just please know,
I'll always be your sunshine,
just follow your dreams.
Maybe, one day they will lead you
right back to me.

Babies are born, then they all die.
We are all born to die.
What we do with the short space between
birth and our last breath is up to us.
I don't know if it is fair.
Life isn't fair.
There isn't always a rainbow
at the end of every storm.
And I am still looking for that ***
of gold at the end of the rainbow.
They say the grass is greener on the other
side.
Yet, sometimes once you get to the other
side it is a desert.
You just have to keep pushing through.

Smart, beautiful, blond and thin.
I don't know why she didn't win.
I don't know why you are mine.
You both had a lot of time.
I am nothing good.
You could have any girl, I know you
could.
It is me you are kissing,
when it should be her that you are missing.

It all seemed like a dream.
Your green eyes absorb into mine,
your lips part as ours meet.
Pulled me closer, it was felt too good to be true,
but in that moment it was.
I never dreamed of that night, because I didn't think
we would ever end up like this.
A moonlight sort of bliss,
that night when we had our first kiss.

Come and take my hand.
We will fly away together
into my magical new land.
Lay upon my white sand.
Feel the warmth of
the bright sun.
Climb one of my trees
to the tippy top.
Float in my ocean so clear
and blue.
You will never run out
of things to do.
Catch butterflies in my
gardens.
Relax and sip a cup of tea.
Doesn't matter what you
do when you fly away with me.

I followed you into the
dark.
I held your hand all the way.
You captured my heart
but you threw it all away.
The sparks we once had are
gone.
Oh, why did you have to turn
out wrong.
I warned you to not make
choices that are bad.
I tried to make you stop.
I screamed so loud.
Why did you have to let me
down?

In the light of the moon
I see your face.
You laid next to me,
warm and silent.
On your side of
the bed.
I wonder if you dream
of far away places.
I wonder if you dream of
me.
What is running through
your head.
On your side of the
bed.
I wonder 'til I fall
into a deep sleep.
I dream of far away places
I dream about you.
On my side of the bed.

I really still love you
I must say.
I can't go on without
you another day.
You echo inside of my
head.
I can still smell
you.
You linger like a ghost of
my past.
I just wish you'd see me
at last.

Momma was dying,
I laid crying.
The day the ambulance
came and took Mom
away.
She laid in a bed
so thin so white.
I talked about
starting high school
and missing her.
I was told to say my
good byes
as it would be the last
time.
My last word I spoke
to her where "I love you"
I walked out of her room
And down the hall
a few weeks later
we got the call.
She wouldn't make it
another night.
Cancer took her,
but she put up a fight.

I don't know what is left
to say.
I can't say how I feel right
now anyways.
The distance between
us isn't measured in
miles.
You aren't that far away.
I'm just lost in all the
things I have been longing
say.
Did you mean everything
you said to me that day?
Why didn't you tell me
about that girl?
You put my feelings
into a whirl.
I cried more then I
ever had that night.
For what?
I'm to far away to fight.

I am not tall and blond.
Not a model.
I am just me.
I like to eat a lot.
I like to write.
I like music.
I don't act like I am not.
I read, I dream.
My eyes are green.
My hair is red.
I really just like
sleeping in bed.
I am funny,
and smart in my own
way.
I say what I want.
I want to be a
teacher one day.
That is just me, and me is
all I want to be.

You are so far away.
I feel I can touch you
more and more everyday.
I hear your voice echo in my mind.
I wish my heart was what you could find.
Across the mountains to the sea.
I wished you loved me for me.
I loved you along time ago.
I gave you my all.
All you did was hurt me
and laughed as you watched me
fall.
Now you say you love me,
But why shouldn't I believe it is
a lie.
When you don't even try.

You laid in my bed yesterday morning.
The sun dripped in the room.
I just laid there this morning wondering why
I am here with out you.
You kissed me on the cheek and hugged
me so tight.
I wish you could just stay the night.
I am here without you
and I don't know why.
I don't know what to do.
Every time I try you make me
cry.

Flakes of crystal white
flatters through the cold winter night.
As she walks down the dark street
as the streetlights flicker and flashes.
Snowflakes catch in her eyelashes.
She left what all she knew.
She didn't know what to do.
She began to cry.
Then, she got a twinkle in he eye.
She knew where to go, a place she felt safe.
She ran down the sidewalk as fast as she could.
Tears billowed in her green eyes.
She knocked on the door.
When it opened all that she said was covered
in cries.
The man she loved came running down
the hall.
Into his loving arms she did fall.
She was tired of being underestimated.
She was tired of being hurt.
She was tired of feeling hated.
It was time for her to guide her own way.
That was the story of my Independence Day.

A kiss on the forehead as you say good bye.
Not forever, just until next time.
You kiss me in the rain storm underneath the tree.
You kiss me when I trip and scrape my knee.
You give me piggyback rides in the park.
You kissed me under the fireworks when it got dark.
You held my hand as we ran through the fallen leaves.
I hope it is like this forever.
I hope you kiss me on my wedding day.
I hope you kiss me when we have our first child,
and our second, and third.
I hope you kiss me even when I am gray.
I hope you hold my hand on my last day.

In her own jaded perception of reality
She opened her eyes.
Herself is what she does hate.
She watches her weight.
Her thighs to big, her dreams too small.
She starved herself to look like a fashion
Queen.
She dreamed of thin, she wished to be tall.
She looked in the mirror imperfection is
All she seen.
In your jaded perception of reality of what
You thought was true don’t forget nobody
Is better than the real you.

Sunlight pours through the tops
of the forest trees.
I walk upon the path.
Eyes open.
City lights flashing bright
colors of red and green.
People rush by me.
Eyes open.
Waves fall upon the shore.
I walk barefoot  on the beach.
The sand fills my toes.
Eyes open.
A blind man walks without a
care.
Across the street without fear.
All he has is what he can hear.
I wonder what it is like to live
without seeing the trees, the beach
or the city.
I wonder why is like to live with eyes
Closed.

Broken clocks remind me time is fragile.
You are only on earth for a little while.
Only God knows when your time is near.
Just live life to the fullest, live life without
fear.

Be my rescue

Don't give up on me.

Be my rescue

Save me from the flood of pain.
Breathe life into my heart so faint.
I have life to gain.

Be my rescue

Save me from the web of lies

Be my rescue

What do you do when the world
is against you?

Be my rescue

Rescue me when I need you most,
Because a day will come when you'll
Need me too.
    and I will rescue....

               YOU