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Spinning, Spinning, Spinning around,
My head up to the sky, not facing the ground,
A laugh escapes my lips,
As I try to walk in a straight line, hands on hips,
I twadle around, leaning sideways,
Tilting movement, going in all different ways,
I giggle as I fall to the floor,
And then crack up even more,
I was so happy, I was so free,
I can now see the little girl I used to be,
And exactly what you have stolen from me...
©
Just a wish in the heart of my soul,
Just a mere whisper in my brain,
Just a constant reminder of how you got taken,
Just a reminder of that horrible day,
'Tears turn to ice,
In the cold winter streets,
A girl has just lost her father and brother',
That girl is me,
War, terrible war,
Consuming more and more people, like the Grim Reaper,
And land is destroyoed, almost as if everything has been ****** into a black hole,
Innocent people died for no reason,
What started out to be a fight between 2 people,
Has taken shape to the world,
And at what cost?
We will only call truce in the end,
People have lost their lives,
Not for love or hope,
But for selfishness and narcasticicy,
I hope you are happy,
Because I'm not...
©
I was never normal,
I guess I knew that from the start,
I was only born to have a bruised and battered heart,
The things I felt,
The pain, the anger, the relief,
The feeling of abandonment,
The heartbreak, the hatred, the grief,
The life I was lived,
The love I once had,
Is gone,
And it all started with one selfish, narcissistic Dad.
©
I remember the day you left,
It replays so clearly in my mind,
I don't think you knew exactly what you were leaving behind.
Suitcase in hand,
You walked out the door,
You looked back at me and I cried once more.
Tears streamed down my face,
But you just looked away,
Feeling out of place.
You strode out the door,
My pleading made it worse,
'DON'T LEAVE DADDY' I screamed and I heard you curse.
I knew you would regret it,
You were so wrapped up in yourself,
All you wanted was more and more wealth.
You ripped me off,
My mum the most,
You took all our money, from pillar to post.
You weren't there when we needed you most,
When times got hard you just left us to rot,
You didn't give a **** about us, just about what you got.
I used to 'Daddy' little girl' but not anymore,
I refuse to talk to you, communicate even,
I don't even want to see your face, which you don't belive in.
I used to love you,
I used to care,
But those days are over, my heart has been stripped bare.
It is hard for me to trust,
To talk at all,
For I am worried it will all happen again and again I will fall.
I became depressed when you left,
I didn't want to move schools, but you made sure I would,
Paid no money to my mum but we tried as best as we could.
I was 8 when you left me,
Depression took over,
It looked after me, giving me a strong shelter and cover.
Mum got sick but my little brother and I had no idea why,
My mum turned bulimic from the cancer that formed,
Anorexia, Bulimia, Cancer all started to take form.
You don't know how hard it is, how much it hurt,
Being the mother to your brother, and your mum, while trying to be a kid,
I did all the housework, in the end I snapped,
Couldn't take it anymore, I just cracked.
I watched my mum slowly dieing, crumbling, out of my reach,
Although that's just what you wanted isn't it,
To tear us apart bit by bit.
Causing us pain somehow amused you,
Making you happy,
Making me snappy.
Life was hard,
But now I see,
You meant everything but now mean nothing to me...
©
I see you sad and it tears my world apart,
On stage when you are performing,
The joy in your eyes dominant,
One thing can influence everything.
When management turned down your mic on stage,
Your world turned sour but mine started crumbling into little pieces,
You are My Life, My World,My Heart belongs to you,
To see you sad kills me inside,
Especially that Harry had to go over and comfort you,
I was furious with management,
I could've killed the person that hurt you and made you sad,
Call me overprotective,
You don't even know me and probably never will,
Yet I will lay my life down on the line for you any day,
I love you and will alwaysstand by your side,
Niall Horan.
©
I wrote this because I was furious with management for turning Niall's mic down and for even slightly suggesting that he only play guitar and not sing. Niall, if you are out there somewhere, if you ever want to talkor anything, I am just and always will be a message away...
I don't have the perfect teeth.
I hate my hair.
I don't have a thigh gap.
I always feel fat.
I don't have a clearface.
I have and never will feel properly loved.
I don't have perfect feet.
I always feel bad about being me.
I don't have the perfect body.
I hate myself in every way possible.
But there are some days when I do feel loved for who I am,
Then there are others when I wound up in bed,
Hoping to die ,
Speaking Muffled in to my pillow,
Wishing for things but knowing they will never come true...
©
Life is a story,
It can not be contained,
Nor it can not be fulfilled.
The things we feel are mutual,
The heartbreak we experience kills us,
But we get over it,
The pain we feel at the death of a loved one,
we shatter to pieces but eventually glue ourselves back together.
Life is hard, treturous even,
But in the end, just think ofit as a test,
We get through one, then another comes along and blows us out to sea,
But as we get older,they are seeing how long we will last,
We will get our grade,
Whether A, B, C, D, E or F,
Happiness will find us,
We just have to pass these tests...
©

— The End —