Every morning without you,
Is another morning,
I am arisen within a fire.

Completely dismembered.
Absolutely discombobulated.
And ended in fear and worry.

Yet whether you are here or not,
I jolt awake,
Writhing.

Another meaningless day in hell.

Can a demon sin against satan?
Lucifer's rules are simple:
Good deeds go severely punished,
And chaos is the reason.

I feel your love,
Yet your marksmanship is poor,
For towards me your love aims not.
Your intentions aimed elsewhere.

A past lover.
And I am not he.

Malicious Misery pushed you too far.
Too far this time.
Your life is precious to me,
Yet a treasure you seek not.

It dwindles within these machines,
Like a strand of seaweed.
Being crashed upon by the waves,
Of this poison you endowed yourself with.

Much a tragedy this is.
Yet not that of Shakespeare.
No, this much too real,
To take a form of fictitious imaginings.

This, much more complicated,
Than a Shakespearean masterpiece.
For if so,
Your love would be aimed at I.

But it is not,
And in resent, I mourn this tragedy.
Yet, I must let love,
Travel upon its everso hellbound path.

My eyes lie upon thee,
And my heart within the feeble hand of yours.
Yet your mind lies elsewhere,
And your desires lie with your mind.

Upon he.
The one currently at your arms reach.
The one at your desires demand.
The one you truly love.

I must not resent this,
For love hath struck thee as it struck I.
And Cupid's arrow hath stuck he as well.
I can see it in his sorrowful stare.

He loves you in a way that I cannot.
A consentful love.
For I am just a scapegoat.
Temporary.

Well now you've quenched your desire.
You've acquired what you sought.
Love of he.
(And I, for whatever its worth.)

His love is a precious gold,
And mine a mere coal.
Black, unwanted.
Only able to provide temporary warmth.

Pardon me for obstructing.
Love hath stolen my precious vision,
And wandered, I,
Into the meadow in which you hunt.

As a poor marksman,
Thou cast thine arrow of love upon me,
And realized I am but a scapegoat,
When the white stag is what you seek.

Once before,
you lined him in your sights.
But evasive is this mystical creature.
And once, he escap'd.

If your life so solidifies,
I shall replinish my vision,
Banish my love,
And obstruct thee no more.

Instead,
I must prosper in silence and patience.
Shun my hearts desires,
And let thee hunt.

I apologize for my inconvenience.
I shall groom each of your horses,
So that you may ride into,
The meadow of love together.

Hence, beware of hunters,
And wandering creatures.
Teach thine unsteady hand,
And this time...

Don't miss.

When I die,
Leave your sorrows at home,
Wear your scarlet dress,
Meet me at the place where we met.
Not for the first time,
But where we really met.
Where I fell in love with you.
Hold your red rose in hand.
Summon me unto the promise land.

When you feel alone,
Just put on your scarlet dress.
And know that I am there,
Staring at you with yearning in my eyes,
As I did in my time with you.

Eventually,
Let the red morph to your skin,
And know its my fingers
Flowing throw your hair,
That most would mistake for the wind.

Let the scarlet bleed into your heart,
Not from it.
So that I may inhabit the only place,
That I could have described as heaven.

Promise me that you'll wear your scarlet,
When summer ends,
So that when fall arrives,
The scarlet will come alive in the trees,
And I can be with you,
As long as you take the time,
To admire the beauty of the changing leaves,
As I had many autumns ago.

Coke tainted with whiskey,
Smoke smothered by kisses.
Oh how the world seems backwards,
When love is unrequited.

I've come to terms,
That I am going to lose you no matter what.
Either to your hometown,
Or the hometown hero himself.

Yet I will mourn not,
For if this is in your best interest,
So be it.

I feel the blood,
Dripping from the corners of my mouth,
From biting my tongue,
To replace these inquisitions.

Why?
Why? Why? Why?

Such a blissful entity, you are.
A pure blessing to everyone you touch.
Is it possible for Angels to suffer tribulations?
I guess it appears so.

Why would you jeopardize,
The single life I hold dear to me.
Why are you so miserable?

I blame myself.
Not only as partially,
The source of your pain,
But also for not acting sooner.
For making you miss that test.

I've seen your self-destructive streak.
I've seen your cynical nature.
Yet I said nothing.
Did nothing.

And now it's too late.
I can't save you from this.
Not even if you wanted me to.

O how I wish that weren't so.
How I wish I could accompany you,
In the week to come,
But you must face this alone.

How could you be so selfish?!
Yet is it selfish of me,
To deem your actions selfish?
For it is of my own selfish desires,
That your life cannot be diminished.

After two years of suffering,
Two years of heart break,
I came to my senses,
With ocean eyes,
That make the stars quake.

And never again,
Will these seas be calm,
And never again,
Will I see those starry eyes fall.

For a shooting star is only to be wished upon,
And wishes will never do you justice.

The feeling of your words on my skin,
Is so addicting,
I feel your words corse through my body,
And mend with my white blood cells,
As if a cancer that'd I wouldn't dare treat.
The consonants settle in my fingers and toes,
And the vowels and "Q" go straight to my lips,
Making me virtually speechless,
As I jabber gibberish and tongues.
I feel your verbs in my limbs,
Like an energy that makes me seem supernatural.
I see your nouns float from your mouth,
And sink to the ground,
In order of relevancy from closest to farthest.
I hear your adjectives chirp,
Like songbirds at dawn,
And I whistle back,
Just so I can hear their reply.

You stole me with nothing but a glance.
You snuck your way into my soul,
Collected my memories of heartbreak,
And lit them aflame,
With the fire of youth in your eyes.
You tip toed past coincidence,
And created a culprit out of fate.
With a single glance of those deep brown eyes,
I was hopeless. A lost cause.
A single glance,
Tied me to an anchor,
And threw me overboard,
To let me drown within you.

We could just fall.
Of course there would be a beginning.
An initial "leap of faith,"
But there would be no end.
We would just fall together.
And never have to leave each others' grasp.
Into space we float.
Eventually stealing Orion's bow,
Just for a laugh- nothing more,
And using the big dipper to make pancakes.
We'd never leave.
We'd be eternal.
We'd just be falling.

Fall with me?

This Bridge that we stand upon,
Collapsed,
Broken in half,
Was not burned,
But torn down to your volition.

You spoke cold words,
In the warmest of places,
Then let them linger.
When all I tried to do,
Was blow them into the wind.

Yet, there they stayed,
Colliding with the warm weather,
Of us.
Twisting.
Until a vortex was created between us.

A tornado so large,
That we both set down our lighters,
And watched it rip open this bridge,
Until the gap between us was irreparable.

This Bridge that we stand upon,
Collapsed,
Broken in half,
Was not burned,
But torn down to your volition.

This empty bed,
Only reminds me where you're not.
It reminds me where you are.
And that you're not here.

These songs remind me of us.
When we rapped them together,
Or when we danced in the parking lot,
To Jack Johnson.

This pizza reminds me of you,
Because we only eat it together.
And it makes me sick.
So I leave it be.

This game reminds me,
Of when I tried to teach you to play.
So I lay the controller down,
And turn the tv off.

Even writing this,
Reminds me of you.
But it helps get my mind off of it.
But not really.

This kitchen reminds me of you.
And when we cooked dinner.
Or when I made you pancakes,
While you were in the shower.

This shower reminds me of you.
Because I love the way your hair looks,
When you get out.
And when we cleansed each other.

This car reminds me of you.
And all of the places we've been.
Your house, mine...
The hospital...

This empty bed,
Only reminds me of where you're not.
It reminds me where you are.
And that you're not here...

So I sleep on the couch.

Today,
You spoke those oh so divine words.
The one's I'd been longing to hear,
Alas, directed towards me.

I asked you of what your mind,
Was so thoroughly focused upon,
And you grinned in skepticism.
At that point I knew.

I knew you were going to articulate,
Those words I'd die to hear.
And I swore that I wanted to hear them.
Until you finally surrendered.

"I was thinking about...
How much I love you," You said.  
My reply, "Good.
Because I was thinking about the same thing."

"I love you too."

I knew I should have told you,
The second I saw you today.
But, as you were,
I was skeptical.

Wrongly so,
For I knew it was my destiny,
To tell you on that day...
Regardless of your reply.

I was afraid it was too early,
But now I realize,
It was almost too late.
It was too late.

I should have told you,
As soon as I knew.
It may have solved everything.
But I didn't.

For that, I apologize.
But I vow to love you,
Until there is not a drop of love,
To be found on this Earth.

Until then,
I will search the morning dew,
Every rain cloud,
And every puddle...

I love you.
It was too late to be early.
Yet, nonetheless,
I mean all three words.

What Light speaketh,
Unto the Darkness?
Whom is more forceful?
Which is more tyrannous?

Must you succumb to Light?
Or fear the Darkness?
Or both?
Must you Succumb to Light?
In order to overcome Darkness?
And if thou dost not fear Darkness?
When why should thee succumb to Light?

Light doth not symbolize good.
Light is as violent as Darkness.
For both are to be feared.

Light to be feared because of its' fickleness.
And Darkness to be feared of its' unknowing.

Pick up thine poison.
Acquire light, and thou art doomed.
Venture into darkness,
And thou art doomed.

Tis true, that the creatures,
Lurk in the shadows.
But the Light dost not,
Have them vanish.
Creatures are not banish'd,
From the Light.
But Darkness makes them unseen.

Spark thine torches,
Look among the creatures.
Yet a torch is Light,
And Light is a fickle being.

Light is easily lost,
Only to find yourself,
Once again set in Darkness.
Darkness... where the creatures roam.
Light... where the creatures are known.

Light doth not make Darkness timid.
But Light shakes below the hand of Darkness.
Light is fragile, yet darkness in itself.
For without Light, You obtain darkness.

Once again, spark thine torch.
Look beyond where the Light canst grasp.
What dost flood thine vision?
Darkness.

Permanent, Light is not.
But Darkness...
O... Darkness...
Thou art eternal.
Overwhelming and omniscient.
The world hath been created amoung Darkness.
Therefore, humanity doomed by its' creator,
To remain in Darkness for its' existence.
And Light never to prevail.

I don't need you,
Nor your ******* respect,
You are you,
Which is why I left.

I see you trapped,
Among insanity,
Among bad decisions.
Among regret.

I know that I can't help you,
But more than anything,
I know that I will be there.
I know that this is only the beginning.

There is long journey ahead,
And I will be there every step,
No matter what.
Because I love you.

I know this now.
After everything,
I realize life is too short,
To leave words unsaid.

I want to tell you I love you.
I want to tell you I'll never leave your side.
That I've broken down too many times to count,
Because you jeopardized your life.

I want you here.
I want to bust you out,
Of the imprisonment,
Of your own thoughts.

I want to fix you.
I want to make you realize,
How dear your life is,
To all of these people.

These unsaid words,
Burn on the tip of my tongue.
They sting in the air in front of me.
They burn along with the tequila.

I wish I could tell you now,
But it must wait.

...Again.

What if you had a power? For instance, a super power. A power never seen before in this universe. A power that could change everything. Would you use it for your own selfish benefits? Or would you share it with the world, dedicate yourself to the further understanding of this power? Would you help people that need to be helped? Or would you help yourself? You see... with every life, there are decisions that comes with that life. And with decisions comes power.
What if the cure to cancer is trapped in an uneducated mind, and the only reason it has not been accessed is because no one has helped that being get an education? Or if that person starved to death because no one would help feed them?
What if someone else has the same abstract idea that you have... but neither of you will make yourselves heard because you feel that no one will listen? Because you feel that no one could understand your idea or relate to what you have to say? What if millions of people would agree with you, but they just haven't thought of that idea themselves?
What if you had thousands of different destinies-obviously only one will play out- but due to the fact that you did not share your idea... the best possible destiny for you never came to existence?
With enough knowledge, enough minds, enough power, enough ideas... anybody can change the course of the universe. But what if those ideas are never shared? That knowledge is not gained? Those minds never created? That power never sought? What if you are the gateway to something that changes the course of history, but you just haven't sought what needs to be found yet?

I used to know my way around a keyboard,
Now I can hardly even remember how to use a pen.
I used to have so much to say.
So much that I thought the world needed to know.
What happened?
Did I all of a sudden make the decision that I would no longer croon over my love for my lady?
Or did I finally run out of things to say?
I guess neither...
Because, well,
Here I am.
Finally writing again...

When I envision pain,
I do not see myself nor my past.
I see white walls,
Strange people,
And odd, complicated machines.
I see a flash of red,
A pool of purple,
And a poisonous green.
My pain is not mine.
Your pain is mine.

It kills me to see,
That you and I are the same,
Yet you went through so much more,
And I, nothing.
Yet, there you are.
"Fixed,"
And I still malfunctioning from time to time,
With no socket wrench or duct tape in sight.
I still see the flashes from time to time.
Not the red or purple or green.
But the flashes of my old self.
The me that comes out when I'm not with you.
And it's weird that today,
Was the first time I've ever seen these,
When I was with you.
It was discomforting.
To know that you're not completely steel.
That I can still be reached.
To know I'm still broken,
Even with my force field to protect me,
And my super glue to keep me together.

I pray that I never again,
Have to endure your pain.
To see those white walls,
To hear your muffled voice on the phone.
To know that you are a stranger,
Yet less strange than your surroundings.
To know that I will not see you,
For at least a week,
And be completely helpless about it.

I changed my mind.
And my prayers.
I pray that I can endure,
Every bit of your pain,
So that you don't have to.
I pray that I remind myself everyday,
Of that flash of red,
That pool of purple,
And that poisonous green.
So that I can learn to forget to feel the pain,
And simply endure.

Drink your sorrows not,
For when the alcohol is diminished,
And sobriety creeps upon you,
Sorrow will shortly follow.

I see your words,
They explode from your pen,
And attack whomever looks upon them,
As if a rabid chimera.

I see your words,
And I feel the pain,
endured upon writing them.
Writing with a writhing wrist.

I see your words,
And I am frightened by them.
I see them morph into monsters,
Right in front of my eyes.

I see your words,
And they haunt me.
They follow me everywhere,
Reminding me I can't make you happy.

I see your words,
Unmasked and raw.
But I must master the art,
Of maskery and disguise myself.

I see your words,
Float from your mouth,
Jagged and angry,
Hoping you do not jump from the cliff you created.

I see your words,
And they inspire me.
So now it is I,
Writing with a writhing wrist.

Jotting my passion down with fury,
Creating a fire formed from phonetics.
Angry that I am fighting for an impossibility.
Angry for not being enough.

I see your words,
And they sting like the truth.
They singe my spirits,
And put shackles upon my shins.

I see your words,
And I am captivated-
No, better yet, enslaved,
Never to be freed from them.

I see your words,
And they change my world.

What you seem not to understand,
Is that I fell in love,
With the girl,
That smokes cigarettes,
The girl,
That smiles at me through,
Her natural curls.
The girl that laughs,
At unnecessary times.
The girl that tells me her pains,
And her ambitions.
The girl that,
Didn't care what others thought of her,
Not even me.
The girl with crowd-splitting confidence.
The girl that stole me with a glance.
The girl that leaped wholeheartedly,
At every obstacle that dared face her.
The girl that,
Wears no make up,
Neither on her soul,
Nor her face,
Nor her thoughts.
This girl is without a doubt,
The absolute most beautiful creation,
To have ever existed.
I fell in love with the girl that,
You seem to so hastily run from.
I fell in love with a girl that,
You seem to hate.

I swear you're like the ocean,
A beauty on the surface,
Yet...
If I can dive deep enough,
I know that I will find,
A beauty that not many people will ever see.