hot tears
again?
i am so used to this ****
over and over
i wanna feel light again
purposeful
i don’t wanna feel these
hot tears
again

you see me walking normally
i might look joyful and full of energy
at least that’s what i go for
but you are mistaken
even if my body is functioning correctly
my soul and heart are not
i am on the ground
no energy is left
i have dropped to the floor
i have drawn my final breath
I have given up

i need people that are like-minded
i need people to hype up my enthusiasm
i need people to feel me
i need people to run after me
instead of me always having to run after people
i need a support system
a healthy support system
is that too much to ask?

silent tears streaming down my face
i want to speak up
i want to scream it out
but i have learnt to stay silent
cause no one hears me anyway
so i stay silent
and my tears do too

We will be smiling
We will be shining
We will be bright as stars
with futures and happiness ahead of us
The day will come
Where we’ll be content
With who we are
That day is not now
Nor tomorrow
But we will be beaming, gleaming
sparkling, glowing and twinkling
radiating hopefulness

i am patiently waiting for that day

inside, it hurts
it screams
it pains
it aches
it wishes and hopes
but never arrives

my heart