I creep into this space.
This tiny glass place.
I know it all to well.
I came here every time I fell.

The walls falling in on me.
Just wishing they'd hear my plea.
It's all over now.
I've thought too long on how.

It just needs to be the end.
So long I've thought on you I could depend.
No more will I know who I can trust.
I'm just a crumb on the outside of this crust.

I feel comfortable here.
This place is built on fear.
It's almost as if I like it.
I know it's too late to just quit.

So I reach to the sky.
I don't need to wonder why.
I'll continue to push and strive.
I'll get to the time I feel alive.

I wish I did not have to be
perfectly politically correct.
I have a serious fear
of offending anyone.
I am so tired of being the one
who preaches love and harmony.
I wish that people would just
******* get along for once.
I am the one who has to
break up the arguments.
I am the one who cannot deal with
my own qualms because I can be vicious.
No one would believe it;
that I could be a raging *****.
But I definitely can.
When I get on that nice long tangent
When words just pour out
not a full stop, barely breathing.
No one has truly been
ripped to pieces by me.
I hold back.
I know I could hurt someone.
I know this because
I have been hurt before.
I am afraid of letting myself go
because I will hurt someone.
But I pull the emotion in
and don't do anything.
I wish I did not have to be the person
who sets an example for others.
I wish I could just be kid.
I wish that I could be myself.
I don't think that I
am actually this "PC".
I don't think so
I hope I am not because
that would make me too good to be true.

Tonight I will close my eyes
and remember that there are people
more beautiful than I,
more purposeful than I have ever been,
more wonderful than I could dream.

And tonight I will close my eyes
with a prayer falling from my lips
because they are also
more broken than I,
more afraid than I have ever been,
more lost than I could dream.

Why is it that all the best
suffer all the worst?

So much
for
fairness.