Retrospective vision makes every task seem simple
Except for the one ahead
I forget the struggles I fought
Inside my own mind
Looking back, I choose to erase the doubt that weighed down every decision
And yet, with each new choice I make
it’s there

The sky was your modern miracle
Simply because you were in it
Defying the laws of everything
You went against physics
You went against society
With a cape proudly adorning your shoulders
You did the impossible
Gravity became your vanquished enemy
And you didn’t look down.
But by tying responsibilities to your ankles
The World managed to weigh you down
Telling you to get your head out of the clouds
You haven’t taken to the sky since then
Now a suit is all that adorns your shoulders
And the duties of manhood keep your eyes on the Earth
And out of the Heavens

But hopefully someday when the wind blows just right
You’ll drag that old cape from your closet
The one everyone told you not to wear
Letting your feet drift from beneath you
You’ll become lighter than air
And leaving all responsibilities behind you
You’ll remember how to fly

Look back at who you used to be:
A boy who walked the straight and narrow
Afraid of your own shadow
A child who made promises unto himself
Swearing you’d never give in
Swearing you’d cling to your dream
Swearing you would be strong enough to stand high on the mountain of morality
Out of reach of their harsh words
And too far away to see the blinding lights of reality
That hoped to knock you down

Now look at who you’ve become:
You call yourself a man
Because you’ve been exposed to the elements
You claim to have “grown-up”
Since you’ve traded in your morals for a ribbon of approval from your friends
You let the words of others sting you
And you change your personality to cover the wounds
You are a disgrace
You’ve cast off pieces of yourself
And glazed over your flaws
To be a mindless piece of perfection
That society won’t reject.
Good for you.

These halls I’ve walked so many times before have changed
The familiar feeling of a home I used to know has gone away
Is it this place that’s always changing?
Or is it the man who wants it all to stay the same?
We used to laugh about the past
But now the past has lead us here
To a present I don’t even recognize
While time continues to take each moment
As retribution for all the time I’ve wasted
Trying to figure out what I wanted the future to look like
Was it worth worrying about the days to come?
When they have now become days gone by,
I realize I wasted every one of them
I could have done so much more, become so much more
If I hadn’t worried on the future,
And lived for the day I had.

February 14th comes around once again
And once again I’m by myself
Am I supposed to be depressed?
All by myself crying and dreaming of a day when I’m wanted every minute of every ******* day…no thank you.
So yes, it’s ******* Valentine’s Day
And all I have to show for it is a card from my mom
Does that mean that my life is over?
No it does not.
I know that someday, someone will see me
As more than just a talking meat suit
More than a one-time endeavor
Someone will look beneath my skin
And see who I really am and who I wish I could be
I will show this person the darkest corners of my personality
And they will not turn away
And until that person comes along
I am not settling for second best
Or second rate
Just so I can have a date
For someone who is all-right
For someone who simply thinks I look nice
Or that I’m kinda funny
Or that I will do for now
Because I respect myself more than that
I respect myself enough to wait for the right one to come along
And someday, when I’ve got the white-picket fence and the rest of the American dream grasped tightly to my chest
I will thank the Lord that I did not waste my time
Crying every time I found myself alone.

Count every calorie
1,2…Too many
Try each quick trick,
power shake,
weight loss,
fat *******,
muscle building,
fiberlicious,
piece of ******* I can get my hands on
Take the stairs, not the elevator
Walk to work, then walk home
Jog in place,
Do 10 push-ups,
Jumping jacks,
Tuck jumps,
Sit-ups,
Scissor kicks,
You name it I’ve done it
I’ve stuck to my diet for so long
My menu has consisted of a million and one ways to say bland
I have looked into low-fat,
No fat,
Fat free,
Sugar free,
Sodium free,
‘Feel free, to leave me on the shelf because I taste like dog ****’
versions of every name brand in the produce section
and now…now I would **** for some cheese fries,
Or a giant cake just for me,
An entire package of Oreos dipped in Nutella,
Or simply a candy bar
Dieting takes will power,
But vending machines take mere pocket change.

When life took me through doldrums
And times of distress
I looked to the future
And dreamt of success
When I came close to crumbling
My dream carried me through
The days I faced failure
I dreamed instead I could fly
For years I had plans
I knew I wouldn’t be like the rest
Settling for practicality
I would be the one who made it
But society called me crazy
For daring to try
I decided to settle
I looked through a filter called reality
And with a dull knife
Dipped in regret
I clipped my own wings
And sometimes I remember
The dream I once had
I can feel it coming up
The song I once wanted to sing
So I choke it down
And pretend it’s not there
I painfully swallow the ambition’s I had
Then turn a blind eye to the pain in my heart
The voices of practical and new dreams
Console me each night
And they tell me the payoff is
That my dreams don’t get crushed,
But that’s only because
I’ve crushed them myself.