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ren Jan 2021
chiffon and cotton tap dancing
breathable measures in plaid and plain air
i'd rather taste bluberry buttermilk pie
and not know that i'm alive
than fill my nose with burning fumes
of rising seawater and philosophies
how foolish to know anything at all
ren Jan 2021
the stars are mangled with my breath
i inhale and exhale dizziness
ren Jan 2021
Anything you could give me,
I already found on my own.
I know you tried to call,
But I was already halfway home
Too out of touch to answer the phone
ren Jun 2016
She is a vessel
Provided to carry life
From the thoughts of God's mind
To the earth that holds its toes,
Under the sun that warms it's skin

She is a vessel,
A portal through which love and wisdom flow
Here to protect and create
To nurture and to care

She is a vessel;
Her heart beats the two syllables
Of purpose
She knows one day
What she'll become
ren Jun 2016
My heart is not
Broken
It's only beginning to
Grow
-ren
ren Sep 2016
It's one fifty three
I'm half asleep in a hostel in Paris
He tells me
"We'll see how we feel"
ren Jun 2016
Long ago I promised myself
That anger is a childish emotion,
That scribbles written in haste
And fists drenched in the color red
Could never solve the perplexity
Of real emotions.
We dig compassion into the ground
With shovels of fear.
But if we were to take a moment
To unearth it from its resting place,
Under our wrinkled brows
And white knuckles,
Maybe we would see that we don't feel anger,
We feel passion.
ren May 2016
Sorry you grew up feeling lonely
Sorry you had to cover up the fact that
You're so desperate for love,
You'll find it in any blonde
That treats you like you're worth nothing

You were worth something to me

I'm going to get married you know,
I'm going to see the world like you told me to
(But not for you)
And I'm going to get married,
But not to you
-ren
ren Jun 2016
A thousand times you tell me
You can't keep your hands to yourself,
You have to feel the opposing shapes
That make you fit in.
You have to remind me
(Remind yourself)
That you belong,
That you'll never be alone.

Well I don't mind being alone.
And you can take all the promises you made
And shove them down your throat,
Take everything you promised me,
Take everything you said,
Drown it in your drain pipes
And learn the meaning of goodbye,
Instead of I told you so.
ren Jun 2016
it's all about your
                              bones
and I can't even  walk
without feeling   the feeling
of your hands on me
ren Apr 2017
I won't be any fun tonight.
I know everyone wants me to come home thrilled to see them, crying at the gate.
But the truth is, I am waiting for my delayed flight,
I gazing out at the California mountains thinking of the night I first landed in Brussels,
how the trees and grass
looked just like trees and grass
and not like anything foreign.
I am begging the mountains to take me back to Europe
where I could see all the foliage
that made me feel at home.
The desert here raised me for eighteen years but I find there's no longer any tumbleweed that satisfies my need to belong.

I want mountains I want oceans I want valleys I want canyons I want city skylines I want tropical jungles I want beaches I want the Great Wall

I don't want to settle.
ren Jan 2014
They say if you want to know
Where your heart is,
Look what's on your mind
When it wanders.
I wonder where your heart is.
I wonder if,
When you lie under your blankets at night,
You think of me.
I know that's where you'll always be;
In my heart,
Tucked snugly into my thoughts.
Lately I've been busying myself
With other things.
For the first time since we began,
I've been focusing on other things.
Before, I'd physically be in class,
Or in dance lessons,
Or eating dinner,
But mentally, I was with you.
Now, for the first time in a long time,
I'm forcing myself to mentally be
Where I physically am,
Because the less I think of you,
The less I hurt.

This morning I lay in bed for hours.
And thought about you, for hours.
My mind helplessly wandered
As I reminisced each of our memories.
How did it all end?
Though it's over now,
Things never fully ended for me.
I still want you.
I still need you.
I still think about you.
I'd still do anything for you.

Sometimes I wonder
If it hasn't really ended for you either,
Though you said it did.
Sometimes I get physically ill
Because I miss you so much.
I go through withdrawals,
Like a drug addict.
Don't you miss me, dear?
At all?
I don't know how it could be over
So easily for you,
Especially since
Nothing ever really went wrong.

I know that my heart is with you.
I know that now.
And I hope with all of my heart
That one day I'll find
That your heart is with me too.
ren Jul 2014
I've found that I never want to sleep. This is nothing new -
I just miss hearing your voice 
In the early hours of the morning,
So deep in the night 
Even the wind ceases 
To shake the trees
And stir the quiet leaves. 
I miss having someone 
During this hour, 
Someone to remind me 
There is life beyond my wide eyes.
Breaking up is weird
ren Mar 2014
I fell in love with
round around the edges
soft smiles
whispered and tender affections
hugs wider than the ocean
fresh kisses
tasting something so new
and that is why
now you've become sharper
firmer and worn out
your smiles are always the same
your hugs are weak
because you believe you'll never lose me
and i'm no longer in love
ren Jun 2016
You were
          born
You
And nothing has
          Changed
ren Jan 2014
This is me loving you. 
This is my love serving as a buoy
A little reminder
That you can never let yourself swim
Further than our tender hearts can bear

This is me loving you. 
This is my love serving as a life preserver
A little reminder 
That you can never let yourself drown 
When I am diving in to catch you 
(Always)

This is me loving you. 
This is my love attempting to save you.
ren Dec 2017
I wanted to show you kindness
Because nobody else did,
But you will always be
The case I couldn't solve,
The problem I couldn't fix.
In a lifetime from now
When the issues are just a list,
I won't think of the million ways
You couldn't love me.

I'll think of the million ways
You did.
ren Jun 2016
All I want is to hear the palpatations
Underneath your ribs
As I lay on your chest,
Atop the rise of your breath.

Right now I'm afraid that
I loved you so much,
It took everything out from under me
And I'm left winded -
Perfectly alone,
Wanting to know if I can ever feel
Like a galaxy lives in my arteries,
The place your stars used to swim.

— The End —