It feels good to sit with you
And watch the light bend
From the cotton candy sky.
The colors are bursting through
Their horizontal zipper.
You take me home;
I fall asleep
To the soundtrack of blurred colors,
And I dream about you all night long.
You're the only playlist
I can keep alive

At least
You scratched my back
Before I watched you leave
Maybe if I scratched yours,
You would have stayed

Hold yourself up
Even if you've lost your spine

Sorry you grew up feeling lonely
Sorry you had to cover up the fact that
You're so desperate for love,
You'll find it in any blonde
That treats you like you're worth nothing

You were worth something to me

I'm going to get married you know,
I'm going to see the world like you told me to
(But not for you)
And I'm going to get married,
But not to you

Take me back to my porch
So late that Saturday night,
Sunday morning poured
Through the cracks between our lips,
The sun burning my skin
Your taste burning my lips
Alive like my mind
Burning through the sleepless night

Take me to the first breath of day
Waking to memories of endless glances
On a rusted tailgate
You staring at me
And me staring at the stars,
Starry-eyed in a hushed moment

That's all that mattered.
Quiet moments where I could be me
And you could be you.

I knew it was going to hurt
And I let it.

I also know
Pain
Makes us grow

I hope you learn how to say I love you and mean it
I hope you learn.
I hope you learn.
I hope you make it better for her,
I hope you remember you are not mine
And I was never yours -
And finally, finally
I'm ready to find
Exactly what I'm looking for.

the stars are mangled with my breath
i inhale and exhale dizziness

Love was never a success
Tattered with devastating loss,
But rather a loss
Bathing in thousands of
Glittery little successes

She is a vessel
Provided to carry life
From the thoughts of God's mind
To the earth that holds its toes,
Under the sun that warms it's skin

She is a vessel,
A portal through which love and wisdom flow
Here to protect and create
To nurture and to care

She is a vessel;
Her heart beats the two syllables
Of purpose
She knows one day
What she'll become

Sometimes I think if we were to hug close enough,
we'd melt into rose petals
that cover the dusty ground and
await the day eternity
feels more like a memory

How could anybody
Doubt
The beauty
In your flaws

I want to be so righteous,
I'm only looked down upon
Because I'm on my knees.

Your hands linger on me
I can feel them
Why can I feel them?
Can you feel mine?

Where am I on your body?
Where am I on your heart?
Where am I on your mind?

In bottles of Prada perfume,
I am with you.
In the symptoms in my body
That will only confuse my mind,
I am with you.
In a shady grove littered with stones,
I am with you.
Sugar and Cola and never growing old,
I am with you.

As my chest rides and falls
I see the reflection of a clock
On the wall,
Haunting me for my beating heart
And God above is watching it all.

I liked your voice
When it was yours
I liked your body
When it was full
I liked your lips
Before we started talking.

It's fine with me
If all I'll ever be good at
Is keeping my head up

I'll teach you to drive
You teach me to paint lilies
We'll learn about stars

I want to touch the raspberry clouds
and feel cotton at my fingertips.
I reach for the sky,
and all I feel is airy nothing.

I want to breathe in
and smell cream soda
and cherry blossoms.
I step outside,
and I smell airy nothing.

I will love you with all the blood my heart pumps in my entire life
I will love you through every moment I feel my sternum shaking
My eyelids blinking
The entirety of my being quaking
You're as blue As the dark I feel as I fall asleep

You cling to God like he will save you
But he will only tuck you in
to the bed you made of filth and sin

Does she know the static on station 100.7
Makes you anxious
Does she know we used to kiss in your parents basement?

I showed you the dream box
My brother gave me for Christmas
I cried talking about the note he had written
I cried telling you about the maps he had hand glued inside
To remind me wherever I go,
My family would be with me
I thought about the rivers and roads
The valleys and mountain tops
The blue papers described
I pointed with my finger where my sisters belonged,
Where my mother lived,
Where I could find my brother
I realized there were no actual pinpoints,
That my father could move anywhere on the map,
And that there were things on the map I hadn't given a name to quite yet
I want to put you there,
Pin you down,
Give you a name the same way I'd given one to the rest of my family
I guess I'm writing this to ask you a question
I'm asking you to stay

Like the May sky,
Pale blue and
Unwavering and
Unraveling me

Lover,
You know I
Breathed you
Like the sky

My
    Wrists
Are
     Not
A
          Canvas

free verse
free as it could be
something inside me
is set free

Anything you could give me,
I already found on my own.
I know you tried to call,
But I was already halfway home
Too out of touch to answer the phone

Pink.
Soft pink,
Sot milky pink
All around me
Withering away
Unworthy doubts,
Uneasy minds.
Blinking soft, careful truths;
I am kind.

If it means nothing to you,
It means nothing to me.
And we can both carry on,
Like we just outlived a tragedy

when your sinking thoughts drag you down,
i want to be the one to wipe the tears
from your cheeks

I never got to tell you

I colored this whole page outside the lines
Just to prove you can't keep me in binds.

Drink it in
While the though of his lips
Still makes you drunk

It was not a pleasure.
It was sin
It was craving
It was 3 a.m. false hope
It was thinking I'd be okay
It was midnight stars
And blurred vision
I was alive the whole time
But it was not a pleasure.

Press your feet against the glass
On your windshield
Let your mind wander
As the snowflakes grace your toes
Really feel the cold
And know that you're alive

It's like you wanted to drown.
You left the comfort of your shelter
And instead of gazing at the rain
Through the window,
You felt it through a different kind of pain,
As the rain of my seduction
Reigned over you
In the cold disaster of the storm.

You kissed me.
I tried to draw my figure
And mark with an 'x'
Which spots of my body
You touched yourself,
But I was covered in black.

I couldn't see any part of myself,
So I sat down and wrote to you
That this book was written
Just to remind me
Of the distance between us.

I hope you love
The way your voice feels
In your throat.

Long ago I promised myself
That anger is a childish emotion,
That scribbles written in haste
And fists drenched in the color red
Could never solve the perplexity
Of real emotions.
We dig compassion into the ground
With shovels of fear.
But if we were to take a moment
To unearth it from its resting place,
Under our wrinkled brows
And white knuckles,
Maybe we would see that we don't feel anger,
We feel passion.

Can we honor the life that comes
Without honoring the life from
Whence it came?
When life becomes,
Is she the widened legs of shame?
For my own mother made me
As an extension of her own pleasure
I owe my blood
To her sexuality
For hers is the life
From whence I came.
And when we hold a child with high regard;
Revere the blood that pushes it veins,
Do we give the honor to its own heart
Or do we thank the blood
From whence we came?

I want to be all the love
          Your heart pumps
Though open drains
          And pipes
I want to be the one
          To keep you up at night

They say there's only two emotions:
Love and fear,
So believe me when I say
Love can be so afraid.

My hands
Hold
All of the mistakes
I have made.

I want to scream it, but I'll never be
Loud enough for him to understand that
I can't breathe if I'm not being told
I'm alive

Again, I am
Breathless
Worthless
Hopelessly falling
And I am
Breaking,
Taking,
Making no move.

my hands,
your hands,
same thing
my body
your body
different things
sorry I complicated things.
I wish I was different.
I know I'll stay the same;
I can't stay the same.
my body
your body
different things

We write it on walls,
We tattoo in on our arms,
Because there's nothing like knowing
You love me
More than night under the stars,
When I want you all over my skin
Down to my roots.

I can feel it begin.
All over me,
All over me.

it's all about your
                              bones
and I can't even  walk
without feeling   the feeling
of your hands on me

If you can't find a hand to hold,
Hold your own.
Your time will come.