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Cassian 5d
Laughing at myself
And how I forgot caffeine makes me sick

Of all the ways
I could've woken myself why's that what I picked?

A brief nausea as
Exhaustion rests behind my eyes

Reading all night again
Could quite possibly bring about my demise

Perhaps some sleep
Would be healthier than obsessing over pages

Of a novel
As time goes by sitting for ages and ages
Cassian Nov 14
One of my exes has

Chosen to tell everyone

That is the reason we had ended

Was as simply because I was gay

However, he himself is bi and

I happen to be pan

The truth behind the end

Stands as follows

He was a cheat

And I walked away

I chose not to even

Deal with pointless sorrows

I will not even crumble

He will be the only who weeps

For his lies have fueled my rage

My rage has fueled his downfall

And I hate him most of all
Cassian Nov 20
What is life's purpose?

Can it be defined?

Are we meant to live

Only to finally die?

Are we meant to grieve

For all the ones we've lost?

Are we meant for happiness?

If so perhaps I can be calm

But at what cost?
Cassian Oct 29
I can't remember your name anymore.

Your face has been lost in my mind.

I think we were friends once.

You've been gone for a long time.

Were you real or imaginary?

A voice inside my head?

I can't seem to find your face.

Deep inside my mind.

I have a feeling you were important.

Whether you were real or not.

Where did you go?

How far away?

I suppose those are things.

I will never know.
Cassian Nov 14
Tell me answers

To all of life's hardships

Because I am lost

Hold back my hair

As I choke out false answers

And flush them away

Teach me how to be happy

Instead of a ball of stress

Because all is not as it seems

The twists and turns of

This sense of false security

Is a maze that attempts

To take away my mind
ME
Cassian Oct 25
ME
I can't look up

My eyes are glued to the ground

I stand taller just to be pushed down

Always smile and never frown

Don't let them see they won over me

Just be quiet and obedient

And get home free

Who cares if they're younger

I know they're stronger

At least they tolerate me

So I'll keep my head down

Never let them see

What they do to me

I'll keep my voice in

They want my food

So I'll let them take it

Those boys...

They're so much bigger than

ME
Cassian Sep 27
Your face haunts my dreams
I hear your voice saying my name
I used to love hearing it but it's twisted now
You are gone but in my mind
Memories fade and change with time
I remember you cared
I have forgotten why because I know
I know the truth that you left me alone to cry
I'm done fighting the past
Finished reliving all of my mistakes
I don't even miss you anymore it's been too long
I see you every day walking in the halls
Heard you had a girlfriend now but I really don't care
It's been a year since we ended
You still give me your hat and play cards with me
The only fight I can beat you at
Poker and Blackjack
Cassian Sep 25
I'm in the dark
Sometimes I'm ok
I never feel anything
My emotions are fake
I copy others expressions
I cry without reason
Smiles are real now
I hide my laugh from view
I'm not scared of the dark
I sleep with a light
I listen to music to relax
It doesn't block out the sounds of night
My mind is contradictory
My thoughts don't feel like mine
I think I'm losing my mind
The shadows say I'm fine
Cassian Oct 7
My mind is broken

No longer thinking me or I

My brain says we

I see things sometimes

Might need to get some sleep

I've heard sounds before

I should see a shrink

I swear I saw a ******* bird

It slammed right into my window

One would think there'd be a scratch

My window is spotless

Sometimes my light flickers

Maybe it's just my eyes

I think I'm lost

I'm losing my mind

Getting pulled in

Soon to be trapped inside

People stare at me

I desperately want to hide
Cassian Sep 27
Parfois, j'ai tellement peur.
J'essaie de me cacher dans ma chambre.
Recroquevillée sur moi-même, les yeux fermés.
J'essaie de me cacher de mes peurs et de ma douleur.
Le monstre ne se cache pas dans mon placard.
Il n'est pas sous mon lit.
Il est à l'intérieur de mon cerveau, caché au plus profond.
Il est le fruit de mon imagination.
Il me laisse terrifié.
La cause de tous mes cauchemars.
Un monstre qui semble bien réel.
Je perds peu à peu le fil de ma réalité.
J'ai du mal à réfléchir.
Je vais me débarrasser de mes peurs.
Avec l'eau de l'évier.

(Sometimes I get so scared.
I try to hide in my room.
Curled up, eyes closed.
I try to hide from my fears and my pain.
The monster isn't hiding in my closet.
It's not under my bed.
It's inside my brain, hidden deep inside.
He's a figment of my imagination.
It leaves me terrified.
The cause of all my nightmares.
A monster that seems very real.
I'm gradually losing touch with reality.
It's hard to think.
I'm going to get rid of my fears.
With water from the sink.)
hello poetry meet my fav languages today lol
Cassian Sep 30
Wake up in the morning before my alarm
Get dressed and sit in silence
Wait til I hear a sound from the other rooms
Go to wash my face, brush my teeth
Walk down the stairs fully prepared to leave
Get to work for just an hour
When the bell rings it's time for me to run
School has started, hell has begun
my morning 6 am to 8:30 am
Cassian Oct 18
My brain is a twisted web,
A tangled mess of thoughts,
I don't even know all that’s in there—
Sometimes it feels like I’m going insane.

Never have I been more afraid,
Self-loathing hits an all-time high;
I can't decide whether to cry
Or let go entirely, wishing to die.
Cassian Dec 3
I had a best friend once

Who told me things friends should do

She said they held hands so we did

She kissed me and said it was normal

Slow danced with me during worship at church

Sat on my lap while the pastor said his piece

Told me friends loved each other so I tried to

Until middle school me found the older girl lied
Cassian Oct 31
For those who wonder

What my costume may be

On this lovely Halloween day

It has changed many times

Until I finally came to decide

I am the most realistic thing

That someone of my standing

And my personality may be

So for today, I have dressed as

What I see myself to be

Today I am a dead poet

Do you not see how well it fits

For someone as strange as me

So happy Halloween, my dear

Have all happiness and no fear

Everything is just pretend

Built for your enjoyment
Cassian Oct 25
Plug in my headphones

Put my volume on max

Drown all the voices out

I did what I needed to

So now I might as well

Listen to my rock

Up until the bell

People call me old-fashioned

Just because my music isn't new

But 90's and 2000's punk rock

Treats me just fine

So their opinions can wait

Until next time
Cassian 1d
My friend wants me to change my name

They decided to use the same

A decision that has lasted for months

Brushed aside by one of short days

No longer may I be Onyx

Merely a shadow hidden by the sun's rays
Cassian Oct 25
You grab my hands in yours

Reminding me I'm special

You slip bracelets on my wrists

Reminding me you're here

You paint my nails black

Reminding me that you care

You spray me with your cologne

A good luck charm for my test

I pass with flying colors

And love you more than the rest

My friend, you are so special

I want to keep you close

If I lost you as well

It would hurt more than most

Please stay my friend forever
Cassian 7d
I wish I could write a poem about love

But I have only experienced loss

I wish I could write a song suited to my voice

But I keep running out of words

I long to put someone first

But I've never felt absolute joy

So I'll write my own kind of poem

That I can sing out loud

Perfection is not of importance

I feel less lonely now
Cassian Oct 7
I have a stuffed Raccoon

I call him Poe to myself

Though when people ask his name

I must introduce him properly

For to strangers he shall be called his proper name

I have a stuffed raccoon

One who sleeps by my pillow at night

Named after a poet

One of my favorite poets in fact

So since to him you are all strangers

I shall now introduce him properly

My silly raccoon plushie

Who wears a blue bow

His name is Poe

Edgar Allen Poe
Cassian Oct 24
All too soon

Your time is up

If he sees you

Play a merry tune

The piper

Standing there

Around the corner

Take a look

Are you looking?

There's a mystery

Trouble's cooking

Hold your breath

Can you hear that?

It's on it's way

Here come's death.
Cassian Nov 6
I feel exposed

Absolutely defenseless

These judgmental people

And their rumors that cut

Straight through to my core

I sit silently hoping that maybe

They'll stop but they all seem to

Think I'm begging for more
Cassian Oct 25
The clock is ticking down

Why does time pass so slowly?

I feel years older already

Though only days have gone by

Life is harder without their smiles

I wish they still wanted me around

Friendship was what fueled me

Now my soul is breaking down

I wonder how long it will take

For me to realize it was my mistake

That scared them all away

A year? A month? A week? A day?

No, I feel I already knew

But not exactly what I'd done

I miss them dearly

Their smiles were my sun

The world shines less brightly now

My school days feel grey

I want them back but...

I'll get used to it
Cassian Oct 10
Just realized something

I write poems about Identity

As well as poems about gender

BUT

I forgot to update my gender

Time to add the right gender

Ooh and pronouns too!

Showing who I am

So have a smile

From me to you! :)
Cassian Sep 25
Deep breath in....
Hold for two....
Blow it out...
Over and over till
Your pulse goes down
Close your eyes
Count to ten
Don't let your anxiety win
Not again
No time for panic attacks
Try to keep calm
Reach out to your friends
They've been there all along
You aren't alone
You'll be ok...
But what if you are alone..?
What if you can't calm down?
Tell me what I'm supposed to do now
When the panic has set in
And the air has left my lungs
I will not pray.. Not a Christian
Should I curl into a ball?
Just wait for it to go away?
You dont always have people to hold on to
Cassian Nov 6
Hold my hand gently,  
Let me take your pain away,  
Rest in peace with me.
A haiku for all my friends who've been hurting or crying lately. I love y'all
Cassian Sep 25
Keep throwing your rocks
And watch me fall
I'm starting to crack
My heart hurts
My minds dying
But keep throwing your rocks
Say more hurtful words
**** me even more
I'm falling apart
I can't take much more
Keep throwing your rocks
I'm a person made of glass
Keep throwing your rocks
I'm ready to leave
Please make me disappear
Childhood bullying builds character right?
Cassian Sep 25
I know how to play the notes
I memorized the tune
The timing sets in easily
Learned sheet music to "Talking to the Moon"
But every time someone's watching
Even if they just walked into the room
My fingers slip and a sour note plays
Maybe I really am just a waste of space
Cassian Nov 22
Life feels way too long

Like my playlist of 600 songs

My mind is way too loud

Like in game of hide n seek


I wish to be found

Loneliness is all I know

Calming down by breathing slow

Smiling when I wish to frown

Swimming in the ocean just to drown


Lost in a deep dark nightmare

Shying away from the latest jump scare

Closing my eyes and hiding away

Wondering if life will be any different today


My life is on pause waiting for someone

Anyone who would search for me

Just to come and press play
Cassian Oct 8
Pat the head a few times

Get a happy purr

Trail your hand down the back

Tussle the fur

Give lots of yummy treats

Fill up a hungry belly

Call a name that he will remember

Your sweet little one

He is such a pretty little kitty
i love cats
Cassian Oct 18
My friends told me

They didn't want me anymore

I scare them you see

They never understood me

I tried to send them away

They promised to stay

What happened to promises?

Now they've all gone away..

I can sit alone at school

Every day
Cassian Dec 2
Knocking on the door

Fragile knuckles on cold metal

Unable to find warmth

Lacking of any worth

Hidden in the crowd

Alone with everyone around

Someone else wears my crown

Wish I could say I was proud
Cassian Nov 22
The sky is crying today

The wind is blowing through

The snails are dying today

Crushed under an unsuspecting shoe

Wonder how many days until I'll see you
Cassian Sep 25
My brain just broke
I read one word and I died
Not in a bad way don't worry
I just dont know how to reply
I believe its been 20 minutes
I read it over and over
I cant think of what to say
It made me happy?
I feel special?
No that's pathetic
Thank you?
I dont know
I dont understand my mind
I need some time to reboot then I'll reply
you know who you are lol
Cassian Sep 26
The scar on my hand is mostly faded
The pain decided not to last
My matches are gone
No more smoke in the room
No more burns on my skin
Cassian Nov 18
I can't help but remember when

Flower petals were a sign of innocence

Until one by one they chose to fall

When I was young I used to fit in

But now I stand out most of all

I remember when I had friends

But now I have none by my side

I remember when I could stare at the sun

But now away from its glare I shy
Cassian Dec 2
A restlessness can be found in

A quiet night that felt too loud

Feeling eyes on me with no one around

A cord of darkness seems to bind

Trying to sleep; to sever the ties

Listening to the coyotes howl

Until the sun finally chooses to rise

The littles are on the prowl
Istg my sibs wake with the sunrise
Cassian Nov 22
Lights out

Sitting on my bed

Blanket up to my neck

Riverdale's playing on my TV

Gruesome nightmares haunt my daydreams

Tell myself that none of it's real

Though that's not how it feels

All is not as it seems
Cassian Nov 7
I am a fighter, not a lover.

For I refuse to fall

I will take the first punch.

And be the first person you call.

I used to be different; A hopeless romantic

But then I  quickly learned that.

Only certain people deserve to be loved.

And people like me are simply curses.

I remember the time my heart yearned

But in the end, I didn't fit in.

My brain was not made.

According to the ideal

Schematics.
Cassian Nov 21
Got a second message from sgg 2 hours ago

Like hon no this isn't gonna do anything on my computer type XD

Really annoying knowing if it was my personal it would ***** something up

Guys if you get the message report as spam PLEASE
Cassian Nov 4
This Saturday my mother and I

Went to a ballet that behaved more like a play

The name of the show was Dracula and it was fabulous

My mother and I quite enjoyed it

However, I find that it is safe to assume

That the parents of the young children within the room

Were greatly regretting their life choices

After it had ended I saw some very confused toddlers

And found myself silently judging
Cassian Sep 27
People can not understand what I am
They seem to believe there is only woman and man
I wear clothing based upon my mood
Jeans and a muscle tank or skirts and formfitting shirts
Changing constantly never fitting in
Being myself in whatever brings me comfort in my skin
My pronouns they may vary
From neutral to more feminine or masculine
Purely nonbinary and simply me
just being myself
Cassian Dec 2
A sunny day

That's what they see.

A smiling face

As they stare back at me

Children are meant to be seen

But not heard

So then why do I yearn

To simply let loose

And scream

Smoke and mirrors are all

That they really see
Cassian Oct 8
Sometimes I find myself ahead
Others I fall behind

Sometimes I love to read
Others I rest my eyes

Sometimes I watch anime
Others I'm on Disney+

Sometimes I watch old movies
Others I watch Owl House

Sometimes I want to be an adult
Others I find I'm still a kid

Sometimes I rush to grow up
Others I want to be Peter Pan

Sometimes the world spins too fast
Others it feels too slow

Sometimes I keep a schedule
Others I go with the flow
Cassian Nov 13
Make your face blank and stare out into space

2. Wear very little makeup upon your boring face

3. Put on baggy clothes without looking like a disgrace

4. Stay quiet and only speak when others speak to you

5. Listen to other's insults until you believe them to be true

6. Pack your bag and head on home to do your chores

7. Grab the switch if you can even though it isn't yours

8. Play til someone else wants to and then disappear

9. Make yourself appear as insignificant as possible

10. Go to sleep and repeat it all tomorrow

10b. If you fail hide from everyone who hates you
Cassian Oct 1
Today I sat simply
Quiet as a mouse in the back of the room
No one seemed to care

Had anyone looked they might have noticed
The clear discomfort on my face

The way I attempted to swallow repeatedly
As I choked quietly

I eventually managed to swallow down the obstruction
Though even if I hadn't who would know

In the back of the room in my silence no one ever notices me
So I sit and sit til the end
Cassian Nov 5
My mom told me to have a voice

To stand up for myself when

People choose to push me around

Unfortunately when I find myself

In such a situation as that

I simply freeze

There is not much a statue

Can really do when people

Decide to use it for their

Target practice

Ready?

Aim

Fire!


I get an apple core

Straight to the head
Cassian Nov 15
I saw a teacher cry today

And I'm not quite sure how to feel

I sort of always viewed teachers as stone

Always there but never truly real
Cassian Nov 19
My heart's beating

Out of my chest

And I just cant tell

If it's from happiness

Or stress but I'm

So ready to ace

This practice

Test
Cassian Oct 9
Thank you for support!

Thank you for reading!

Thank you for the suns!

Thank you for listening to my feelings!

Thank you for the views!

Thanks to you I'm on the front page!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! <3
Cassian Sep 27
A bird kissed the glass,  
Wings fluttered, claws grazed the pane—  
Sings, then soars away.
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