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Nov 7 · 75
Schematics of love
Cassian Nov 7
I am a fighter, not a lover.

For I refuse to fall

I will take the first punch.

And be the first person you call.

I used to be different; A hopeless romantic

But then I  quickly learned that.

Only certain people deserve to be loved.

And people like me are simply curses.

I remember the time my heart yearned

But in the end, I didn't fit in.

My brain was not made.

According to the ideal

Schematics.
Nov 7 · 62
Food
Cassian Nov 7
I accidentally missed breakfast

Because I was much too slow to wake

Then I accidentally missed lunch

Because there was time I didn't want to waste

So I will sit hoping dinner will be large

Because my hunger is enough to devour even

My very own plate but until then

I shall sit and wait
Nov 6 · 55
No more..
Cassian Nov 6
I feel exposed

Absolutely defenseless

These judgmental people

And their rumors that cut

Straight through to my core

I sit silently hoping that maybe

They'll stop but they all seem to

Think I'm begging for more
Nov 6 · 83
Behind my back
Cassian Nov 6
Sitting with my eyes closed

Trying to block out everyone

All of these people around me

Pressing my hands down

Shielding my ears from it all

Trying but to no avail

The sound still breaks through

And I hear what they say

Behind my back
Nov 6 · 53
I want...
Cassian Nov 6
I want connections

But feel better off simply hiding

Sitting alone in the dark depths

Of my closet back at home


I want attention

But feel better off without strangers

Eyes resting on me at all times

I'll hide on the inside
Nov 6 · 258
Peace
Cassian Nov 6
Hold my hand gently,  
Let me take your pain away,  
Rest in peace with me.
A haiku for all my friends who've been hurting or crying lately. I love y'all
Nov 6 · 89
:)
Cassian Nov 6
:)
I offer you a smile

For you make my life

Feel worthwhile

Thank you for your care

Live on with flare
Nov 5 · 332
Target
Cassian Nov 5
My mom told me to have a voice

To stand up for myself when

People choose to push me around

Unfortunately when I find myself

In such a situation as that

I simply freeze

There is not much a statue

Can really do when people

Decide to use it for their

Target practice

Ready?

Aim

Fire!


I get an apple core

Straight to the head
Nov 5 · 86
Used to it
Cassian Nov 5
I am tired of being asked if I'm doing ok

Without any friends to call my own

Of course, I would lie and say yes

In the car or in our home

Lonely is a constant state for me

A social butterfly whose wings

Were harshly clipped

Though I suppose after years

Of being alone I should

Eventually grow to be

Used to it
Nov 5 · 53
Fine
Cassian Nov 5
I refuse to cry

To show them that they've won

I refuse to show weakness

They do not deserve that satisfaction

My face will remain a blank mask

I will sit silently through the inner turmoil

And convince them that I'm fine

That they absolutely haven't hurt me at all
Nov 5 · 94
Three
Cassian Nov 5
They finally told me why

I had been told to leave

Lost all of my friends in one day

Or so it seems

I had been seeking closure

For they didn't give a reason

But since I have it now

My heart is truly aching

For the truth of the matter

Simply turned out  to be

I was sent away

Due to the preferences

Of three
Nov 4 · 55
Silently Judging
Cassian Nov 4
This Saturday my mother and I

Went to a ballet that behaved more like a play

The name of the show was Dracula and it was fabulous

My mother and I quite enjoyed it

However, I find that it is safe to assume

That the parents of the young children within the room

Were greatly regretting their life choices

After it had ended I saw some very confused toddlers

And found myself silently judging
Oct 31 · 87
My Halloween Costume
Cassian Oct 31
For those who wonder

What my costume may be

On this lovely Halloween day

It has changed many times

Until I finally came to decide

I am the most realistic thing

That someone of my standing

And my personality may be

So for today, I have dressed as

What I see myself to be

Today I am a dead poet

Do you not see how well it fits

For someone as strange as me

So happy Halloween, my dear

Have all happiness and no fear

Everything is just pretend

Built for your enjoyment
Oct 31 · 83
Fools
Cassian Oct 31
I listen to thoughtless plans

Falling from the mouths of

People with no personality

They want to marry at twenty

Have kids at twenty-one

With no understanding

Of the work to be done

Infants are not rocks

They need to be fed regularly

Some every two hours

Others less frequently

They may be fitful dreamers

And interrupt your sleep

Diapers can be expensive

Many need to be changed

Their cries can have different meanings

They need your attention most of the time

Marriages do not always work

Many lead to divorce which is difficult for children

Plans change and life cannot ever be controlled

So dear little girls, please..

Do not be fools
Oct 29 · 63
Lost to my mind
Cassian Oct 29
I can't remember your name anymore.

Your face has been lost in my mind.

I think we were friends once.

You've been gone for a long time.

Were you real or imaginary?

A voice inside my head?

I can't seem to find your face.

Deep inside my mind.

I have a feeling you were important.

Whether you were real or not.

Where did you go?

How far away?

I suppose those are things.

I will never know.
Cassian Oct 29
My voice never seems to be loud enough

To break through storm in your mind

I can never seem to get through to you

No matter how hard I try

Your breathing is sometimes so shaky

Like you're trying not to cry

Why don't you give me your burdens?

I'm here til the day you die
Oct 28 · 416
Happiness
Cassian Oct 28
Why am I happiest when it is loud?

Surrounded by fake friends that wont stick around

As opposed to in silence all by myself

Reflecting upon small moments in my day

Could it be because my happiness depends on others?

Or am I simply afraid that my mind will destroy that feeling?

Whatever the reason may be.....

I find that I am happy that you listen to me
Oct 28 · 41
Fake
Cassian Oct 28
I don't count on happiness

Or expect perfection

The day comes and goes

With a shallow ache of rejection

I paste a smile on my face

Tell my parents I had a good day

Listen to loud music to hear the noise

Get stuck between the bathrooms for girls and boys

Questioning myself and my choices

Ignoring the whispers of condescending voices

I try to be helpful... Try to be good

I use my manners like any good kid should

I hide behind fake cheerfulness

And hide from the world with fantasy

Video games and anime consume my days

While I hide from the sun and its blinding rays

I spend so much time being someone else

That slowly but surely I lose myself
Oct 25 · 95
My music
Cassian Oct 25
Plug in my headphones

Put my volume on max

Drown all the voices out

I did what I needed to

So now I might as well

Listen to my rock

Up until the bell

People call me old-fashioned

Just because my music isn't new

But 90's and 2000's punk rock

Treats me just fine

So their opinions can wait

Until next time
Oct 25 · 94
My only friend
Cassian Oct 25
You grab my hands in yours

Reminding me I'm special

You slip bracelets on my wrists

Reminding me you're here

You paint my nails black

Reminding me that you care

You spray me with your cologne

A good luck charm for my test

I pass with flying colors

And love you more than the rest

My friend, you are so special

I want to keep you close

If I lost you as well

It would hurt more than most

Please stay my friend forever
Oct 25 · 48
I cant stop
Cassian Oct 25
I don't know what I'm doing

I can't stop writing

My fingers refuse to cease their movement

I have too many feelings

Too many thoughts

An idea building up

But I don't know how to shape it

I don't know how to treat it

To feed it

Is it an enemy?

I wish to defeat it

A lump is growing in my throat

My stomach is full of knots

I have too many issues

They're all pouring out

There's no holding back now

My thoughts are an ocean

There is no solid ground
Oct 25 · 56
Old friends
Cassian Oct 25
The clock is ticking down

Why does time pass so slowly?

I feel years older already

Though only days have gone by

Life is harder without their smiles

I wish they still wanted me around

Friendship was what fueled me

Now my soul is breaking down

I wonder how long it will take

For me to realize it was my mistake

That scared them all away

A year? A month? A week? A day?

No, I feel I already knew

But not exactly what I'd done

I miss them dearly

Their smiles were my sun

The world shines less brightly now

My school days feel grey

I want them back but...

I'll get used to it
Oct 25 · 34
ME
Cassian Oct 25
ME
I can't look up

My eyes are glued to the ground

I stand taller just to be pushed down

Always smile and never frown

Don't let them see they won over me

Just be quiet and obedient

And get home free

Who cares if they're younger

I know they're stronger

At least they tolerate me

So I'll keep my head down

Never let them see

What they do to me

I'll keep my voice in

They want my food

So I'll let them take it

Those boys...

They're so much bigger than

ME
Oct 25 · 70
"Friends"
Cassian Oct 25
I try to be perfect

Wish to be praised

I offer friendship

Cry when we part ways

I do everything

Strive for attention

Want acceptance

From everyone

So why do I

Sit alone

I offer all my help

So why when I need you

Are you gone

I thought that we

Were

Friends
Cassian Oct 24
All too soon

Your time is up

If he sees you

Play a merry tune

The piper

Standing there

Around the corner

Take a look

Are you looking?

There's a mystery

Trouble's cooking

Hold your breath

Can you hear that?

It's on it's way

Here come's death.
Cassian Oct 23
I want to be heard
But
I don't want to speak
And
I want to be remembered
But
I don't want to be different
And
I know I'm free
But
Sometimes I feel trapped
And
My head's not in the clouds
But
I stare at the sun
And
I don't want kids
But
I love toddlers
And
I want to be a teacher
But
I don't want to go to college
Cassian Oct 23
I am
A person
I am
Not a doll
I am
Afraid to fall
I am
Not a bird
I am
Only so strong
I am
Kind of smart
I am
A beating heart
I am
Living here
I am
Used to fear
I am
Not weak
I am
Read top to bottom then bottom to top
Oct 23 · 45
Today
Cassian Oct 23
I see an opening and

I'm gonna go for it

So many people would

Throw a blow for it

I'll do all the work and

Get the reward to show for it

My life, my mind, my legacy

All of it has to start with me

So lucky to have been born

Here where we're all free

Look at the sky up above

Its pureness is full of love

I'm not afraid to make mistakes

I know from them I'll learn

I grow stronger every day

Chasing after a wish I made

So I'll keep my promise

Even if they don't

I'll be myself

Even if people point

I wont care what they say

No one can ruin my day

Today
Oct 18 · 122
Promises
Cassian Oct 18
My friends told me

They didn't want me anymore

I scare them you see

They never understood me

I tried to send them away

They promised to stay

What happened to promises?

Now they've all gone away..

I can sit alone at school

Every day
Oct 18 · 477
Fears
Cassian Oct 18
Why do I always feel

There are eyes on me

Ones I cant see

There are voices I hear

I'm so afraid

Of what they say

My subconscious conjures

The most grotesque pictures

It happens every single day

I can't calm down

I can't sit down

It's way too loud

Make it stop

Make them stop

Send me away

Put me away

A padded room

Where I should stay

I'm so afraid

Day to day

The voices I hear

Wish you knew what they say

I can't sleep

My soul, they want to reap

Get me out of this place

Away from my haunted brain
Oct 18 · 37
Morning thought
Cassian Oct 18
My brain is a twisted web,
A tangled mess of thoughts,
I don't even know all that’s in there—
Sometimes it feels like I’m going insane.

Never have I been more afraid,
Self-loathing hits an all-time high;
I can't decide whether to cry
Or let go entirely, wishing to die.
Oct 15 · 58
Fading Echoes
Cassian Oct 15
In shadows deep where silence weeps,
Lost laughter lingers, and memory sleeps.
The moon, a ghost, casts pale, soft light,
Reminding us gently of a vanished night.

Each sigh a story, each tear a trace,
Whispers of joy in a haunted space.
Yet in the stillness, a flicker remains—
Sorrow and beauty entwined in chains.

Every voice in a unique timber,
None are quite the same.
Echoes filling the world—
Born simply to fade.
Oct 15 · 518
I don't understand
Cassian Oct 15
Why do you like me?

I am broken

Unfixable

My blood is cold

My tears have dried

Every ounce of my soul is gone

My heart has nearly died

I am tired of failing

Of being left behind

I wish to disappear

My mind is broken

Half the time

I am scared

To be free

I want to move out

But I don't want to be me

I'm terrified of living

A fake me is who they see

I write of darkness

Speak of trauma

So then

Why on earth are you following me?
Oct 10 · 65
Oops lol
Cassian Oct 10
Just realized something

I write poems about Identity

As well as poems about gender

BUT

I forgot to update my gender

Time to add the right gender

Ooh and pronouns too!

Showing who I am

So have a smile

From me to you! :)
Oct 9 · 384
Thank you!!!
Cassian Oct 9
Thank you for support!

Thank you for reading!

Thank you for the suns!

Thank you for listening to my feelings!

Thank you for the views!

Thanks to you I'm on the front page!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! <3
Oct 9 · 69
Way back when
Cassian Oct 9
I found my letter to my future self
Written out in middle school

Back to the days I was very young
When I was still lesbian

I wanted three kids two boys and a girl
One year apart

Thinking back I cant help but wonder
Did I know I wasn't a girl?

Who knows? Who cares?
I am who I am

Since that is the case though
I will continue on from there

Wish me luck
Oct 9 · 1.2k
Can and Cannot
Cassian Oct 9
I have things I absolutely cannot do.
I swear it is not a lie but 100% true.

I cannot message strangers online.
Have caused trouble time after time.

I cannot be alone near fire.
Please don't ask why.

I can only watch certain shows.
Everything below TV14.

I can not walk around alone.
Need someone with me.
Oct 8 · 51
Wish
Cassian Oct 8
Starlight star bright
I'm lying on my back
Having a dream tonight
I wish I may
Wish I might
With this wish
This wish I have tonight
I wish you happiness
I wish for love
I wish for attention
Help from up above
Wishing and wishing
For someone to love
I'm sitting alone
In a lonely dawn
Hoping and wishing
To be proved wrong
I deserve friends
Everyone does
So find me my wish
Before I lose hope
Grant me some peace
Take my soul to keep
My sweet listener
Up above
Oct 8 · 68
Identity
Cassian Oct 8
People ask me my type to decide who I am
They say sexuality determines identity

However, I believe that who I like isn't what I am
I am pan but that isn't my entire life

That would be like saying I'm a girl because of what I wear
Though I wear a lot of strange things

People tend to make assumptions based on who a person is
I believe you should get to know them

Start by saying hi and go from there
Maybe make a friend

It really is simply that simple
So do not assume
Oct 8 · 102
Pretty Kitty
Cassian Oct 8
Pat the head a few times

Get a happy purr

Trail your hand down the back

Tussle the fur

Give lots of yummy treats

Fill up a hungry belly

Call a name that he will remember

Your sweet little one

He is such a pretty little kitty
i love cats
Oct 8 · 505
Sometimes and Others
Cassian Oct 8
Sometimes I find myself ahead
Others I fall behind

Sometimes I love to read
Others I rest my eyes

Sometimes I watch anime
Others I'm on Disney+

Sometimes I watch old movies
Others I watch Owl House

Sometimes I want to be an adult
Others I find I'm still a kid

Sometimes I rush to grow up
Others I want to be Peter Pan

Sometimes the world spins too fast
Others it feels too slow

Sometimes I keep a schedule
Others I go with the flow
Oct 7 · 48
My Raccoon
Cassian Oct 7
I have a stuffed Raccoon

I call him Poe to myself

Though when people ask his name

I must introduce him properly

For to strangers he shall be called his proper name

I have a stuffed raccoon

One who sleeps by my pillow at night

Named after a poet

One of my favorite poets in fact

So since to him you are all strangers

I shall now introduce him properly

My silly raccoon plushie

Who wears a blue bow

His name is Poe

Edgar Allen Poe
Oct 7 · 46
Mind
Cassian Oct 7
My mind is broken

No longer thinking me or I

My brain says we

I see things sometimes

Might need to get some sleep

I've heard sounds before

I should see a shrink

I swear I saw a ******* bird

It slammed right into my window

One would think there'd be a scratch

My window is spotless

Sometimes my light flickers

Maybe it's just my eyes

I think I'm lost

I'm losing my mind

Getting pulled in

Soon to be trapped inside

People stare at me

I desperately want to hide
Oct 7 · 40
Thoughts
Cassian Oct 7
Been a while

They ask how I've been doing

Oh I'm fine

Been about two days since I cried

People say my face looks like a dog just died

Oh it's ok

It's alright I'm fine

Smiling all the time

Real or fake?

Who cares?

Made a mistake

Bumped my head

Don't fret; I'm not dead

Oh I'm fine

I'll say it all the time

I'm alright

Even if I'm not

Sleep is way too hard

Maybe I should just start

Intrusive thoughts say to give up

Maybe I should start
Oct 1 · 84
Strawberry Licorice
Cassian Oct 1
Today I sat simply
Quiet as a mouse in the back of the room
No one seemed to care

Had anyone looked they might have noticed
The clear discomfort on my face

The way I attempted to swallow repeatedly
As I choked quietly

I eventually managed to swallow down the obstruction
Though even if I hadn't who would know

In the back of the room in my silence no one ever notices me
So I sit and sit til the end
Oct 1 · 377
What is love?
Cassian Oct 1
Today, I ask you a question that may seem simple to some.
A question that others find impossible to answer..
Tell me, darling, what is love?

Is love the unbearable pain that you feel when you lose someone?
No, I believe that that feeling is just grief..
Tell me, sweetheart, how does it feel?

Is it a warm, excitable feeling that lights up your soul?
No, I believe that is simply happiness..
Tell me, love, what does it mean?

Is it the meaning of your life that is your purpose?
No, I believe that the meaning varies..
Tell me, friends, do you love me?
Sep 30 · 125
I'm still standing
Cassian Sep 30
I’m weary, tired, shadows near,  
But like the song, I’ll persevere.  
Sick of the struggle, longing for peace,  
Yet I’m still standing, my heart won’t cease.  

Though feeling done, there’s still a spark,  
You know I’ll rise, igniting the dark.  
With every challenge, I’ll find my way,  
Just like the lyrics, I’ll seize the day.
made to read while listening to I'm Still Standing lol
Sep 30 · 33
Morning routine
Cassian Sep 30
Wake up in the morning before my alarm
Get dressed and sit in silence
Wait til I hear a sound from the other rooms
Go to wash my face, brush my teeth
Walk down the stairs fully prepared to leave
Get to work for just an hour
When the bell rings it's time for me to run
School has started, hell has begun
my morning 6 am to 8:30 am
Cassian Sep 27
Someone said I talk too much.
Maybe they are right.

I speak about all of my thoughts.
And my feelings I write.

I write countless poems in simply a matter of days.
Endless thoughts and feelings surface.

My mind is truly nothing but a winding overgrown maze.
Every word I type is just a flower.

A simple flower growing upon the vine.
Neverending tendrils of words.

Straight from this chaotic mind of mine.
I hope it brings happiness.

If not happiness I hope that my words can bring something else.
Something that can be much harder to feel.

I hope my poems bring it to you.
May they bring you peace.
Sep 27 · 114
Monsters
Cassian Sep 27
Parfois, j'ai tellement peur.
J'essaie de me cacher dans ma chambre.
Recroquevillée sur moi-même, les yeux fermés.
J'essaie de me cacher de mes peurs et de ma douleur.
Le monstre ne se cache pas dans mon placard.
Il n'est pas sous mon lit.
Il est à l'intérieur de mon cerveau, caché au plus profond.
Il est le fruit de mon imagination.
Il me laisse terrifié.
La cause de tous mes cauchemars.
Un monstre qui semble bien réel.
Je perds peu à peu le fil de ma réalité.
J'ai du mal à réfléchir.
Je vais me débarrasser de mes peurs.
Avec l'eau de l'évier.

(Sometimes I get so scared.
I try to hide in my room.
Curled up, eyes closed.
I try to hide from my fears and my pain.
The monster isn't hiding in my closet.
It's not under my bed.
It's inside my brain, hidden deep inside.
He's a figment of my imagination.
It leaves me terrified.
The cause of all my nightmares.
A monster that seems very real.
I'm gradually losing touch with reality.
It's hard to think.
I'm going to get rid of my fears.
With water from the sink.)
hello poetry meet my fav languages today lol
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