The kitten went missing
Wide eyed
Pink and sweet
Thinking he means good things for me
Thinking it's real and right to be,
All alone when it's dark
And one less than three
One by one,
Our kittens ran away
I wonder if any ever stay

Girls and boys at war with love
Could use us as an example of why it *****

You are evil
Like a hidden tack in the carpet
And I hope that you
Drown
Or get arrested
Because you belong far away
Your words are not worth being heard
And you
Are disgusting
So much that I laugh
Because you don't see
How much this world
Resents you

If you asked how it felt
"Like skateboard sandpaper, baby"
"Like it's rubbing my legs, my throat"
You don't know
I'm saying goodnight
But sugar if you got shot,
I'd run across Los Angeles to you

If you asked how it sounded
"Like glass breaking, baby"
"It's cutting my lips, my tongue"
You'd think by now I would've had enough
It's never enough
We both know better
But honey if you ever got lost,
I'd ride the telephone wires to you

You said everything I waited for
Oh, but a couple ages too late
Well I've never doubted your love for me
Just the time it took to say

I need you

I will write
For every time
You cracked your whip
On my dancers back
And I will sigh
For every night
I heard something I shouldn't

"He just kept putting me up and putting me down, and at some point I just got tired and numb, so I... lied down for awhile"

You are the pavement
In my bounce house
At this child's party
What,, what do I do without?
Fifth? Will you help?
You couldn't be a man
Tired of your shy
Glue your addict eyes to mine
Tell me
Tell me
You know I love the pain
I've always loved the pain
Last night like last time

I told you I was out front. I was... waiting, watching the back door,  but it didn't open. I heard crunching coming from the other side. Sophie, she looked to me, and I looked to your noise. You came from the back of the house, you had, a giant machete, it shone like, like sharp teeth. I asked you, "why do you have that shoved in your belt?" You said, "some bad ***** goin on, Calli."

You're so mad,
And I'm so sad
But there's so much more fun to be had

I'm evil and I glitter
I love their screams
Nails in deep,
You just love the heat
I know I did something bad
Cause my mouth taste sweet
Better than cherry juice
Worse than lovin you
Jennifer Check can't touch this
I've got the sick
Gimme a kiss

"I think I've given you enough reason to not want to talk to me"
"Baby I'm not bitter, I'll love you always"

If tears to the muscle build compounding resolve,
Their fibers sewing from blood new strength  
My lungs could hold an island afloat
My heart could pull a tank

From the coast to the city,
Always sittin pretty
Your blue bug, all Malibu sand and dents  
Making a mess
Enabling and favoring,
My angel with red wings
Giggles like bells on string,
Ring a ling, ring a ling
Our three song soundtrack,
One for day, one for night
One for "I'm here, we'll be so fine"
And you saved me
Oh ***** you ******* saved me

Your face in pixels,
All you are, at least so far
I've got notes and holds to share with you
The story of the bird I lost,
And the way it flew
I want you taped to the wall
That's the madness in me
All the voices chant around our twirling dance,
Harassing our party scene
You should know when it's cold,
I'm a hot coal to hold
But cooled and pressed I'm diamonds
July will come and rescue me,
But now I need you a million times ten

No pictures
Cause I can't stay still for the click
Well I even break my own rules,
So expect it
I guess "no" is worth the high it gives
Why can't I just behave
Why can't I just behave

Loose ends so frayed,
Tie mine,
And I’ll tie yours tight
I’ll cauterize the fibers,
So they stick together
Like kisses on a humid night
We swirl, and combine in a bowl
Raw sugar and spice
Wrap up together and find answers in time

I’d love a neat little package
With our names scratched on the wrapping
Telling the story of us
How only now
We’ve just figured out
We’re in love

Grey, it is thin
When it's all either black or white
My muse, she's become a bothered one
Looking for a fight
You cool her
And finally she'll lie down to rest
In my souls jewelry box, my chest
You are like the gentle giant,
The carpenter,
Slowly fixing walls
And I'm a wreck
A pretty mess
And you're the best

Gray can only hide so long in the black
When I wake too early I can see your eyes in the dark blue
Sometimes you burn so much trail, you can’t find your way back
I hope I lose all the details when I think about you
If there’s a color between deep orange and light red
I’ve felt it each time I try to sleep
If there’s something sweeter than eternal rest
You’ve felt it every time you’ve laid your skin on me

Trying to love and feel again,
Like lighting a match in the wind
I could blame the stars,
Or the people they are
I could blame myself
And the installed iron bars
Baby I could blame you
Yeah that's probably best
Id probably get the car,
And the money with that guess
Yeah, it's all on you
The boy in blue
But who really knows in the end

He's freakin out
As the car drives down
Who knew how much fun you could have
In the back of a van
Acid burns
But oh what a trip
Were just friends
I hope he just wants to be friends

I almost walked down the street
In a black tank top
With my girls
And I almost got into a car
Where I almost smoked something gritty
Where I almost opened the window
Where I almost screamed and laughed at the street lamps
For standing still
When I almost jumped out
Because I wanted to feel it
Where I almost started to cry
Because I almost had you

I know I'm so sick
(so sick baby)
Because it hurts between my eyes
And my lips feel hot
Lost my bag, my pipe, my drugs
My makeup, my phone, the love
Fifty calls, gotta replace it all
No pills to fill and numb me
This **** all ***** just help me
Drink it down, you're a feather now
Sleep well
(Or not at all)

Where are your pages?
Your binding and ledges?
Boy, I'm lost in your pool light
My skin in the moon and versa vice
Quiet cricket picket gate
I'm a bunny, and I'm so very late
Was this our very important....date?
Lawn chairs, curls in the air, or, your hair
I saw you stare

I will never know why
But I was in the alley tonight
Not our alley, no
The alley
Where we became
The last time I held your hand
When you were sober

And I am number fifty
The drive home cracks at the seams,
Though there are many skylights on the horizon to eat
And I fool myself
I plant, water and let myself down
I memorize this address
Like a back-alley mistress
Or a difference
To how I usually sell
I’ll see you in hell six months from now
In the pillows
Breathless and full of doubt
Like a real dream
Or a kids room full of tokens to keep
Absolutely obscene
How you split through and blood-let me
I’m a master,
And much faster than anything you challenge
Blood-bonded and free

Friday
Wow, some Friday
M left
Vicky ain't my friend
Lilli, her 6th grade will never end
Even though we're fifteen
I just let the sweet fill my lungs
And **** it felt so good
But not really
Cause momma kicked me out
For smoking in the house
And on that Friday I looked in the mirror
So full of hate
Not my face
Black eyes
But mine are supposed to be brown
I know because I got em from daddy
But I wanted mommas green and blue and gold ones
And school is starting soon
Not for me, no, just for you
The endless summer
I have a shirt with that movie on it
And M's got a poster with that movie on it
Last night we made up like we always do
I knew we would

You respect yourself so little that watching me love you completely, with all I have been given to give, made you lose respect for me too.

And what a dark fate that will be for you to meet.

Unfurl, and
Altogether bloom
I am now open to you
Warm, I can
Spread out thick
Fine and ****
As though turned to sugar sand
I only have a velvet “yes”
Jumping at the gate of my lips
I only have clean hands
Held out open to you

Poisoned fruit in your ***** eyes,
But really I am just an apple
Organic,
Full of green veins and soft, brown spots
They are ugly and particularly sweet
Coming from a life of white bread and red meat,
You pucker at the acid
And sugar

If I’m a waste of time,
Then you’ve had a lot of quick wins
You must have put a lot of ends
On your dime
If I’m a waste of time,
Then you’re a sewer swallowing soap
Mouthful by mouthful
You bubble up
If I wasn’t worth the mere seconds you spared,
Caring for my heart
Or tangling your hands in my hair,
Then the letdowns you’ve seen must block the sun
Towering high,
Becoming one
Because if my undying love,
My tears and torn throat
My nails on your back
Entire nights on the phone
Every train I that took,
Your favorite boots that you own
Were a waste of your time
I’m sure your ticker is broke

And he's always gonna want my best friend

And he's scrollin through his feed and stops on her picture

I think you were a dream
Real as anything, but I can’t have it again
You thought your eyes were like the December Pacific Ocean,
Gray
All I saw was green and deep water

Please spare me the boulder- push
I am strong but I’m not strong enough
Please give me a piano-key life
All our darks are above us
All our futures pale white
I imagine you forgive yourself and see my insides
How you were no match for a trick of the light
That I didn’t know ******* when you died
And sometimes you have to bleed
For worthy days
Peaceful nights

I'm digging it real deep
Cutting it real close
I use all real names, nobody knows
But if they read all the things I wrote
They'd burn me at the stake
A shitshow earthquake
See, you think it's poetry
It is, for you and me
But they would just look and see
Their secrets and names
Splattered all over the page
Like blood from a gun shot at point blank range
And all the things they thought I didn't know
I never told, I wrote it out
Better to do it here than to open my mouth
Dressed to ****
I'm calling you out, look fast now
Noel and Sophie, my glass table girls
B and R and J and M
I'm sparing you, not like you did
Mommy and Daddy and the man down the street
I'm shouting through the glass!
Can you ******* hear me?!

I know what can happen between the times we talk
And well,
This valley drought is ******* us
Drying and cracking the sidewalk
I guess no rain,
No pain,
But soon green will be gray
Let's hope by then I'll be dry of everything I want to say

You could never just tell me
You had to show me
By(e) not showing me
The silence broke when it didn't matter
They're noticing
They don't come around do they?
I was the aurora to your hurricane
Now it's just rain

You stare at me scared and blinking like I’m a passenger jet on fire
Like I’m a golden-haired loose cannon fitted with trip wire
And you’re a fragile cloud of smoke
Written in the sky, the wind could tear you down and flip you inward
Buried down six feet just to sing about the dirt
And how you clawed your way out
How next time you try to fight the straight line and die in the right light, you’ll pick a sunny place to drown
You torched me like a teal-eyed lighting bolt
then burnt the hospital down  
I’ll wring you like an orange
Until I’ve had my fill and can live with the taste in my mouth

Sylvia, Sylvia, tell me sweets
What was it like to write like that
And how did the oven feel
Were you scared? Was it hard?
Did Hughes hit you?
And how was McLean?
Will you pleaseeee tell me
I want to know
How things go
With a mind like that

Hard slick guitar clicks
Like knives in skin I'm so in love with
Your screams they bleed, they make me believe
Teens going crazy all for your team
The sunburn was worth it, and standing was worth it
To see you play, how perfect summer is today
The dent in your chest puts me to rest,
The dent in your chest I will never forget

Why do I go,
Licking the whip that hits me
Breathing the steam that burns me
And how I try,
And every time,
Kissing the hands that crush me

I see the shadows out the corner my eye, start trippin and slippin then I realize they're mine, I can't do this two times, already threw out my lines, I won't be the sweet blondie with the watering eyes,  so go head pick a time, can't promise I'll have my head on fine, but I'll try, will you try? I'll be your pretty itty bitty shinin' sidewalk dime

Your eyes are pink and weak and wanting

What did he say?
Piano starts to play
My favorite song and I can't sing along
Tidal wave, my blood and veins
Little girl just playing games
Chutes and ladders,
Still chasing after
A green sky
And the light that's leaving his eyes
Notes, I need you, play for me
Drag me under
Quiet this tide

My chest will not stop it
There's like a little baby woodpecker
Thump thump thumping on me
From the inside
Too many stimulants before bed
I watched a video on drugs
But I was listening to music the whole time
They can call me to discipline
As much as their hearts desire
But you'll be at that desk
Only the faces will change
And I'll be at a rock show with
Sharpie on my arm
And a ringing cell phone
That I won't have to answer

Oh love me, love me!
I want to make you happy
Be your pretty baby
I want to make you proud of me
Your blue eyes will jump
And become like lighthouses
Searching for mine
I'll dress real nice
And put mascara on my wide eyes
That look so expectantly at you
You say, goodnight my queen,
I will be your queen
I will live in your castle forever

To say that I'm fine
Is so wrong that it's right
But I'll give you hot days,
Unforgettable nights
Smashing glass in the alley,
Tearing cords and ties
Your glowing green heartbeat rhythm
Up and down, jagged sides