As soon as I left,
I’ve seen you every day since
If I warm the bottle in my hand,
Slowly take a sip
I can still hear the river at night
Taste the juniper on your lips
That nervous glass would have me fooled
Shaking,
And just as full to the edge
With things to give only if
We’d allow ourselves to

Lady pride won't stand aside
Even in flames and the rising tide  
In the eyes of a storm
Or a crashing car ride
For a wounded wing
Or another life

So sick of this and that
And movie endings always being bad
And this back and forth
Through a cracked door  
And knowing ill never trust again
And my mom turning the lock
But she can't really walk
Cartoon characters take your place
In this white bed
And my aching head

In the air, on a jet
Seventeen straight hours
Oh what a perfect number
Just working so hard,
Oh baby you are
You gotta know we're crazy for ya

But you woke up didn't you?
Let it go, as it flows
All okay

He’s a hot crackle on my cold skin
Soft skin of lips on my cautious hand
A real pretty face
Something of my own soul to sink into
Robins egg eyes make a waterfall down my face
Rush across my body
Below the midline,
He finds the summer of me

Something...sweet, sticky
My boy with marks
You in the dog pound,
Oh well baby, I can be the mail girl
Bark and howl
Steam all in your veins, can't tame
My blanket of stains and metal remains
Scraps
Be my scraps?
Be my bad?
Wanna dance ?
Yeah, he'll wanna dance

I'm all red eyes
In a tiny black dress
Shooting daggers at the ground as I stomp down the steps
I'll ask you once and you better say yes,
You shatter me like the mirror I'd watched you in
Waiting and waiting and hoping again
You say you're bad with words, but that's all I have
Replaying and playing and playing again
With nothing to hold for the time I've spent
My nerves and my heart at war again
They're tired but ready like they've always been
I promised them peace, what a liar I am
Hurting and hurting and hurting again

And I am so drunk
Even a mile away, I know your face
Holding her hand
Never thought you'd come out
To party, boy
Why for her, and not me?
I love that black jacket
Sophie's throwin up, I gotta run
Have fun

I'm shaking again
Always rubbing my eyes hoping you'll appear again
How scattered can one girl get?
I was waiting for this
I was waiting for this

Michael ****** Miranda and now Jake is mad
Diana's freakin' out because her grades are bad
Skylar's new boyfriend is twice her age
Popping pills is all the rage
Bradley and Calli have a thing going on
But she's in love with someone, that's so wrong!
Mary and Solange got in a fight at school
"Rielly and Lilli think they're soooo cool"
I've taken adderall every day this week
The feels I'm feeling feel so sweet
Is she a ******? Oh my god, who!?
So blurred the walls don't even know what to do
Walk down the street and hope the cops don't see
C'mon baby and party with me

I am not a Popsicle.
You can't wrap me up,
In the summer sun,
And save me for later
Oh for gods sake
Say something
There's no now and later
With you and me
There's no candy

Michael hates Miranda and so does Jake
Diana moved away to a house with a gate
Skylar's boyfriend isn't new anymore
Poppin pills made my mind feel sore
Bradley and Calli haven't talked in months
She's still in love with M and it really ******* *****
Tomorrow is Monday but I don't have school
Rielly and Lilli are idiots, I'm tellin you
I traded all that addy for a pipe and some grass
Now in my eyes you'll see a girl so jaded and crass
Don't give a **** cause they'll never catch me
Don't be a *****
Come and party with me

**** the dogs,
With iron rods
Hold them down and drown them
Chain them up,
Clicking guns,
Like the mafia is heartbroken

Burn the snakes,
A stone cold face,
As I watch the slithering pile
It will **** me when I wake
But the morning seems a while

**** the dogs,
For what they've done
And crying, show no mercy
When I see his pathetic bleeding eyes,
Then I'll know he heard me.

Wanna be chill
Like a cool lake that's melted
Into you
I wanna go up up up
And stay there
And hear your voice all around me
So teenage
He's the king in the clouds
I'm his faithful queen
Of the stars
He is light and I am dark
He allows me to see
And I bring him back down
To earth

We sat playing cards
I was already half gone
And he walked in and stopped the room
How beautiful
How horrible
Do you only love me for the pain in my eyes?
I'll pound it into your head,
Into your chest,
Until you know
I'll scream until you know
Tell her, go ahead
I still feel so hurt and sick
But there's something to be said about the fact
That I know everything
And you haven't taken your hand from her eyes

It always hurts worse
When you use a dull blade
And I come home smelling
Like liquor and rain

I could write a million lines,
The grinding doesn't lie
Against my head,
Against my thighs
You were a humid dream
And so suddenly,
I'm up in a cold sweat  
Saying goodbye

The last man on Earth sits alone in a room
There's a knock at the door
What to do, what to do

Nothing can deter me from you. You are my July and my Winter, my sweet and sour, my skin on skin and everything in between. And I swear I will come to you, and you will wonder where I've been for so long.

Lady Luck, what a dime
Hair of gold and legs so fine
Try to **** her, she's got nine lives
A bottle of poison and a rack of knives
They say out she comes when the moon is full
In robes of silver and diamonds fill her skull
Eyes like rubys that burn to the core
And a body like an oasis, you'll beg for more
She kills and steals and doesn't think twice
Never gets caught, illusive as night
No blood, just red wine, heart cold as ice
Skin so pale the stars cry
Whatever she wants, whatever she needs
Seems to come raining down in baskets with beads
Ribbons and gems and shiny things
Men pass out at her porcelain feet
Strings of pearls on her ankles and rings on her toes
Wherever she stops, nobody knows
A pirate disguised by her charm, what a queen
Beware Lady Luck, for she lurks in the steam

We got Jäger speeding 90 in our veins
Because we bled out
So now we can't love you
And glitter in our hair
And street lights in our eyes
We're born knowing how to scream
And you learn to mix a drink at thirteen
Not a cherry goes un popped popped popped
Not the cherries in your Shirley temple
More of a ***** than the traffic
Like something that stings but you gotta have it
You're taught to flip your hair
Bat your eyes
Lie
If that's what it takes tonight
For the love of the party scene
Don't expect to marry me
We aren't for that
We're here to make you feel scared
Nocturnal and beautiful and we'll make you feel sick
But you'll love it

Shh don't breathe
It'll hurt trust me
This ones blue, I like purple too
Oh my dear girl! What have they done to you!?
Just like that, make it feel good
Oh I'm tired, oh this night
So then like, I said, and he said, and she said
Who's ready to party?!
Oh *******
The sand feels so good
This toe ring fits just like it should
Trippin in the bathroom
Blood stains, ball gowns
Electric neon kitty town
I hate you! I hate you!
Make this stop!
Oh man, oh boy
This **** rocks

You took my gold hair in your hands like cloth
Well oh, baby, it's yours
Wash, rip, take on and off
Hang up, take down, fold, fade n stain
The fibers bend
And colors blend
Oh harmony, of the 808
And me
Why are you in my spot?
Girl, I'm tired, and you're taking it up
Tainting and painting
Over my art
Take your angels wings, fluttering
You don't wanna start

It will be okay
We will be okay
Love her,
And remember
And sing forever
I love you
I will see you soon

Flips flops hurt my feet
I can take it, I'll take em off
Walk in the street that's putting blisters on my feet
In my favorite grey tee
Our hands bumping but not touching
But I know you'll kiss me
You always do
I love these boys
That can rap so well
And the things they write make me feel so small
Michael I miss you
Daddy I miss you
This Florida trip might make it worse
I might begin to see things that'll make the burns hurt
My scars are bigger than yours
I'm a tough one
Don't touch me
I don't need your sympathy
I don't need a chair
Ill use a pen to tie up my hair
Manicures are a waste of money
Money I could use on us, honey
No, baby, you don't gotta carry me
I can take a bigger **** rip than any girl you'd meet
Ill show you

In that moment,
I would’ve traded all my luck
For you to just stay
My final night till this next moon,
As far as this moment,
My last with you
I would’ve said anything
For you to sit down
And resign yourself to the humming sound
Of our hearts in our ears
The sheets slipping like your car shifting gears  
And burning every fence
Stretching out the minutes like lace
You tie around my neck and wrists

18
Eighteen
You legal but you ain't no man

You know.
You ******* know.
You liar.

Truth be told, it's getting old
Couldn't decide whether to toss you
Or cross you
Lips like limes and cyanide
Slip a thread around my neck
Press the dimmer in my eyes
With every lie, every lie
Every look, "until next time"
Put me to rest, I love your bed
Miss sleepy head
Since when did I have a bed time?

Are you my kiss behind a studio door?
My costar in our own little story,
Whispered between the rest of them
As we sneak away into the bright city chill
Just after mid-morning,
The very highest of the Sun
Are you the radio tuned to the perfect distraction?
I know music rushes in rivers beneath you
Swelling,
It collects in the windows of your vision
Aquamarine, polished,
Are they hard enough to deliciously shatter my heart?
Is it me with whom your growing vines bloom into,
As we play different parts?
I’d leave it where it all began,
Once the end has come  
Alone, on a glossy wooden floor
I’d trust you with my secret
If it was also yours

I'd rather it eat me
Than the other way around
Walking, like floating over ground
The satisfaction of slipping through a fence
Seeing light between my legs
Light
But I know it's really dark

Up all night in your underwear
Up all night with Saturday hair
Up all night with the birds sittin there
With the clock tickin there
Why do you care
Sleep all day I don't wanna see
**** the sun baby
**** your dumb party
Momma come a knockin
Just to come hug me
I'm goin crazy
I can feel the heat
Fireball whiskey
And your tongue on me
That's my medicine
Yum yum yummy

Having to hold back,
In my bones I feel the ache
Every step my pointed toes beg to take
Toward you
The tide you pull, the waves you break
Every muscle I own works to stay in place
Lover , if you crash once too many
I won’t slip and drift out
I turn my head away, I turn around
And walk on water

A full body, lilac blush
I look for new summer leaves
To crush,
Under my zealous feet
I look for ways to bait you
So you’ll notice my purple hue
As I refuse to breathe
Refuse to move
Plant my heels in the burning sand
To match your working boots
Hold a heavy mirror to
All it could’ve been
Simply the same animal, we are
In the end

Driving reckless in your car,
Going fast, goin far,
Oh, anywhere we are
Take me fast, take me far

Yeah
Okay
Look at me like I'm so crazy
For drinking wine
But what did you do this very last night?
I don't know where Im going with this, all I know is you're an idiot and now I have ******* PROOF that you're an idiot but ill never get to use it in an argument because you're a little speck that's already dissolved

If Ariel was born on land
She might have tattoos
And burn scars
And her nails might be
Painted black
And Prince Eric might hit her
And kiss her like a street baby
And tell her she looks so fine
In that leather dress
And buy her roses
That he leaves next to her favorite ashtray
And she might see a photo set of the sweet ocean
And wonder what it would be like
To live there

Turn a light on,
Baby I'm comin home
When you know,
You'll know
I just know
The steam will leak off my writing on the walls,
Probably
But honey,
I promise I'm almost home

Look at you boy, you're a trend!
Kiss me, **** me
I love it when
Bam bam
As good as you can gets better every time
"I wish I wasn't such a loverboy"
What was that?
Tell me again

Oh how I waste my time watching interviews you do with tired eyes

The crickets and the cars
And the heat of the stars
Running down the street
Hopping the bars
A trap beat
Rustling sheets
Wherever you may be
Rollin windows down as we speed around
Kendrick and Kesha and ATL
Mac and Butch Walker and Frank's Golden Girl
The smell of gasoline
Clink of rings on my feet
When they scream at us to get out of the street
Kisses and moans and gimme more's
Cash register chimes cause I bought one to match yours
Cryin in the bathroom and baby got sick
When I gotta fall asleep
That does the trick

Ill never see you
Cause we'll both be on stage
Xo

You said you could cut the smoke with a knife
So do it
I think it's funny
How we don't notice patterns
But everything ends in
March

The sweetest music, making me weep
Wanting to scream but unable to speak
I'm tired but oh so rushed
Shaking hands, too late is enough
And I'm scared and aware,
And I know what's up
But I'd rather it now than before
Now he's calling my name,
Kicking in the door
Can't get into a room without one,
So what are they trying for?
I care, I care
I say it at least
An exhaustion immune to a good nights sleep

Oh aren't you everything I asked for
And like a hot, late dream,
Just like THAT girl in movies,
I'm tossing around with nothing on
Just so good feeling like lilies in your arms
It hasn't captured me,
This perfect buzz,
Yeah it's just enough
And if it comes crashing,
I hope you've had practice,
'Cause I'll be so comfortably numb

Four tears like chandeliers
Dripping diamonds and light
The freckles bounce in between and laugh
You’re too pretty for eyesight and yet not loud enough
And I know it’s hard to be strong,
It’s a million miles until the next drop off,
Crack enough skulls and you’ll find a brain in one
Wring out enough bodies
You’ll get a scream from some

If I was a dog, I'd bite
And you may be one now,
But at least you're right
And if I was a cat, I'd scratch
Pouncing on air,
Just missing your lap
Babe if I was a bird, I'd sing
I'd be the kind of canary
You'd be too afraid
To send into a mine,
That's what you are at all times
Even when I seem unsure
I'm a maybe at best,
For sure

How full would you be of yourself,
Until you were sick and nauseous?
How many limbs off my body would I have to give
Until you had a brand new version of something to twist and condescend
How large is your glass?
Could I fill it from my veins?
Or would you scream that a drought was upon us
Is that just how bottomless
Your soul extends?

"I love him, I do
I deserve it, it's true"
And he goes on slapping you
Making your skin turn as red as his
Because he's so mad at you
So beautiful
And you know you're mean
Under sheets with other boys
But you are lovely still
Senior girl
And he goes on hurting you
Leave this place now
He won't back down
Go to the music and happiness and love
That is not love that is bruising your body
Swelling those green eyes up tight
"But I love him!"