I could’ve used your hands today
I was drowning in a pool of eyes
Paper thin and soaked through
With your hands held about my face,
I would have found new air in you
With your voice through a tiny tin wire
I could’ve opened up and fallen into

My soul would have been loved
And already resold
For your warm “they’re nothing like us.”
“Lover, let them wilt in the drizzle and drown,
I’m the rows of corn that feed the world,
And you’re the Sun.”

Brooklyn has given me
Many redeeming qualities
Or memories,
To tie to the headboard and fight over nightly
I’ll try anything twice
So long as the truth is a stop on the way to playing nice
And theres a long time
Between her red hair
And green eyes
That you could use to figure out the right
Things to say to me
So we both can finally get some sleep

I've got my heel to your throat.
Scream baby but the whole town knows
Do you know?
How're those plans comin?
Have those plants grown?
Like a spider with a busted leg,
Bad idea to be in my room all alone
I'm master,
You're just a SIDE SHOW
A top 40,
What a joke.

Id be a sneak with the pigs on my toes
All to be the sweetest berry at your show
Hold my breath and slip right through,
I'd be bad with the front door for you
Two hundred cash I blew real fast,
So I'll fake it till I make all my dignity back
Sliding in blood in the name of love
In the name of fun
Cue the lights in three...two...one.

Sad boy with the hurricane eyes
I know you're out there lookin at the sky
It's all an illusion
Slow down, what are you doin?
Loverboy with the tired smile
I know you're up now like you are every night
Oh what a ******
Oh what a summer

Lips on my back
Hands round my waist
We're probably gonna crash
But going out,
I wouldn't want it
Any
Other
Way
Nini, in the pass seat
Laughin in between screams
What a good dream
It was just that, a dream

So used to wasting water,
Letting it fall and slide between my fingers
And you,
You pull me softly down like a glittering river
Like getting lost in a story or a dream
That could surely last forever
Here I am just soaking wet
Clothes heavy and dripping on the tile floor,
Reaching down,
Begging to join yours
You, staring into me
With the greenest things I’ve ever seen
Spreading out until they’re everything

I try to speak our language with other people
I can almost hear you laughing at me

It sounds like hail on a windshield

"And if I didn't love you then I love you now
But it's easy to love something when there's pain in its eyes"
please choose Blake
Please choose Blake
Not Z
Please

If only
My only
You look like all the pictures
Neck goes slack
Eyes all glass
Thinkin how I would touch ya
The scene, the dream
The destination screams
"What a perfect chance"
Someday soon I'll have you close
But for now I'll break the trance

I know those eyes
Those are your wanting eyes
Your "it's hot" eyes
Your "come here" eyes
I know that deep breathe
It's your "I need you" breathe
Your "help me breathe"
Your "I'm trying to control it" breathe
I know those hands
Those moving hands
Those are your anxious hands
Your "help me know what to do" hands
Your "where are your hips" hands
Your "distract us" hands
Mm

Plague rat,
Faded nineties autograph
On an Italian restaurant wall
If ruining my day was an Olympic sport,
You’d be on the cover of Men’s Health
Smiling in coveralls

You have a hold on me,
The look in your eyes is loveless
You have a hold on me,
How I love it

Say it louder
I’m listening

He thinks on such big scales
And like a dragon, he's got scales
I reflect in all of them
Given up,
I just fall into it
Just in love
So in love

If you take a lotta this,
You'll get a little that
Well anything to feel the love
And get him on his back

He rides in loudly, and all at once
Like a hurricane healed to summer air
I have never been more grateful for the violence
I’m barely awake,
I haven’t yet popped my arms and legs back into place
But when coming from his mouth,
I am made of marble,
I was never truly bent nor asleep  

I will never have anything better to do
Than watch as you lock into your armor
Cradling, for the needy day,
That which you have given to only me

I fall so in love with boys with guitars on their necks
I will marry a man who will make me a greatest hit

When it's not like the movies
Pour some yey in that girls nose
Hold it closed
She doesn't need an ambulance, shut up
Been doin this since I was eleven
A little *** girl, she's fine she's fine
Do you wanna get us ALL in trouble?
Haha girl, you're good
There she is!
Oh, maybe not
Get her in the tub, the tub
Cold water works best
Hold her head up
Haha fuckkk
Okay okay that's good get a towel
Get her in bed
Just wait a little bit she'll be up soon
You're so lucky you have me
Crazy *** Calli
Wild lil baby
Somebody get me a **** drink
Whew

Whip that hair
Malibu girl got a bottle of it too
Ruby red
All in the bed
Tangled in the sheets
Don't hit your head

Ooh boy so fine
What a man
Bang bang, choo choo train
Wind me up and ill do my thang
Hahaaaa remember that?
**** I feel it

So pretty girl, so slick
Like a Popsicle stick
And now your lips are all sweet
Tastes so good to me

Mmmm you're makin me blush

I ******* NEED you like the nights
Like, torches in a fire fight
I'm just aching and rolling around
Going down,
Going down
Breaking the mirrors cause I need bad luck
And you're the baddest it gets, I'm limp, got me by the neck
Screaming, I'm the jungle, I go bump in the night
I'm a chilled merlot with you by my side
A ruby ring and the turning tide

I cannot ever resist the velvet sweetness
Until I’m wretching into something shallow and barely one degree from the carpet
It shows in the violent colors of an underworld rainbow come from my jaw,
How I underestimate you and you dehydrate me for days afterward
I’m a fly in a humid plastic bag
I’m an ant with a breadcrumb breaking my back
With the top of my head and my toes
I feel a dangerous house
But I smell something to bite into
Harsh, giggling
Like honey whiskey

Gave me spaghetti
And naughty tv
And went in the hotel bathroom
With his bleached blonde blondie
Yeah, shoot it up, does that feel good?
Don't got emotions, so he injects em
But oh, he bought me dolls! And toys! Candy!
Be good and sit still and quiet
Real nice like
"This is a new place, Daddy moved again."

What a hot hot hot one
Gotta hand it to the valley,
You did me good baby
Keeping it July for me
And he's a hot hot hot one
Blends right in
To the desert and the canyon
Both in heat
Figuratively,
And yes quite literally
You better not be ******* with me
Good luck to the west is the best you'll get
From a golden girl like me
Cause I said it then, I'll say it again
******* I love the heat

Hot water, lights out
Ten, eleven, twelve
I always come back again
My stomach, rolling and rolling
Pushing and pulling
Yelling and smashing
At me
Should I be sorry?
"The winter is just messing with me"
Messing with my head,
While I'm messing with the heater
I'm playing with my life
Just trying to be sweeter
Messing up the sheets,
Pulling them closer
Scratching at my skin,
The ceiling all in colors

Clicking ice meant almost time to go
Id bet on that, mama showed me so
In a swirl of lipstick and shimmer
Saw pretty ladies in the hall
Through my ordered dinner
Well I watched and was taught
Eventually I knew the drill
Nothing good comes
From party girls raising party girls

My love,
I have starved endlessly for you
And in that stabbing, rolling ache of hunger
I found that emptiness was pure
So bare and raw that when you came to me,
You could fill all space
Uninterrupted by a single lingering remnant
Of what you’ve made me long forget

Like your jaw knows anger,
Your feet know wet socks and creaking boards
Like hands know a hot kettle,
Kissed and pulled away to burn pink a while longer
Like an unshaven hunter, resentful of the forest but feeling home nowhere else,
You know my rivers and roses

How do I leave this? I want to do something so big.

seriously **** this
I HATE this

I think to myself,
If you were to leave me
As soon as in the hands of tomorrow
How imprinted,
Pink and new
Would I want your outline
Over my shoulders and hips?
I do not take each new morning for a fool,
For I have tasted years without you
And you have seen death
In your brother’s eyes
Onto lonely wrists,
Your hope splashed and dried
I behave in terms of forever
For I have felt last chances
Fluttering in my hands
I let them bend and crumble
I wish you’d think of our possibilities
Evaporating peacefully
And what you’d do to change fate,
Do tomorrow

I wish you were someone that you are not

You are right there and I cannot have you

Standing tall and warm,
You can be so hard and hold so fast
And I’m still trying to break away from the mistakes I’ve had to taste,
They linger on my tongue
I overflow
I pour into the grass like a garden hose
Sometimes you set your metal bucket just before the flowers
Like you worry my rivers will drown us
You just appeared as an ocean to me
I waste my ink
Writing on the wooden gate you’ve built on the beach

When he says be safe
He means be good
I'll act just like a girlfriend should
When she's got ten years of ****** up under the hood
You know I go from zero to eighty to ten
You know her and I are more than just friends
You, good boy, heart hot beating gold  
I'm your opposite with briars and a silver soul
I'll twist the wound and scare you cold
But I look so good in the hallway door,
Arching my back on the bedroom floor
You know well enough how I want more
"Be safe"
Baby what are you worried for?

For them I am strong,
For you I am weak

They say you must suffer insanity
And your demons
They must be dark
To become a writer
And I, well,
I'm absolutely mad
Mad for you

I'd think,
How much did I really affect him?
Baby you didn't answer
You didn't have to
For, as soon as the screaming was done, and us was gone,
You rearranged your whole room

I left my clothes at your house,
You left your drinks at mine
Oh and I wish you were here
Forty-five, now it's ten-o-nine
My ribs let go with you laying there
I catch every sigh
'Cause I listen with my eyes
We both feel a shift,
And ask the right thing
At the very right time
That's why
You know what I mean,
That's why

I asked if he would care
He said "about nothing else"
So why am I in your new sheets by myself?
He said if I jumped or cut
Or popped or dropped
Ink is what would cover his heart
Of a C or a star,
Maybe our melody's bars
And just for that I would do it
But would he do it?

Inside
You have jars of butterflies
Bending their wings with gloved hands,
You tell me they're already dead
And under the mattress, I can only imagine
But it's cleaner than the sheets
At least
You're the scientist and the priest
You're the jagged rocks beneath my feet
The horrific lie with a shining defense,
The proof that the middle is as low as it gets

"So how are you feeling"

"Okay, alright"

"Tell me why you're here"

"They don't see it like me"

"They don't see what like you?"

"I don't know, things"

"Like what types of things?"

"Like how late at night when I'm writing, little bunnies and birds come out of my walls to be warm and help me"

"That's very interesting, Calli. So tell me, do you have any difficulty swallowing pills?"

In a town thats all the same,
Every face knows every face
Excessive gates and lack of grace
Dropping names and playing games

I would be your lace enclosed
Dewy Irish rose
Your wide eyed
God-fearing wife
I would scream and taunt you,
Echo into the country night
Just to keep your tongue wet,
Your muscles used,
Red and tight
I’d tell you we need
Three ivory linen sheets
One to practice,
And perfect our technique
Two to plant
Each poppy seed
I’d fill you full
Up to the brim
Present to you my golden hair
To lay down all your worries in

I should’ve known
You’d feed me to the forest floor again
I’ve read medieval tales,
Guessed each gluttonous end
The maiden dies by the sword of her love,
Or resigns to playing pretend
I won’t stubbornly awaken
I won’t touch my flesh
To your jagged, poison edge

Your iron briars wither
Down to their sharpest point
Through the deepest wood and bone
They slice

All a Hollywood girl needs
Heels, gloss
A shot
Some jewelry

Like trying to tie a string that's fraying
Like the unwanted rain,
We're staying
Beating a horse,
Bleeding out on the floor,
A conversation fading out with sayings
Like trying to fill a funnel with feeling
As soon as we're through, I'm leaving
Exhausted moans,
Never really alone,
The passion and purpose receding

He's missing something
They're always missing sonething
The only man for me it's lit up on the big screen
Kissing made up ladies in perfect fading jeans
Being young isn't so fun when you're seventeen years away from me
I sound so dumb
But, baby

James, why you gotta be such a roller coaster?
James, why you gotta be so cold?
You know me,
I'm a lover
I know it don't show,
I'm a rockers daughter

Hold me back?
Allow me to rush forth?
I wonder who you will be and where you will come from
I take guesses at the language you might speak
And with it, who you will coax from my menagerie
To dance with you in the jet fuel and rising flames

Bike videos, you love em so
And we'd sit on the couch
Right across the street, you and me
And last year surreal
Your eyes never looked so different
So blue, blueboy
What happened to your voice?
My brown boots
I could never say no to you
Drinking four lokos on the carpet
Kissin in the toolshed
I remember those tall tall sunflowers
They died and took you with them
****, so sunny back then