What's going on when the gun goes off?
Pouring rain, what a scene for a beautiful show
A pretty girl's blood must feel so young,
And some song's endings are meant to die to
Kinda like static
Have you ever seen a telephone pole with a million nails in it?
It feels like Atlanta in here
Next time you're in line
Open your eyes, look behind
Everyone on their phones
When did we become such good little clones?
As if I really know
As if he'll ever know
He'll never know
A whole different boy now
Give him a new name, new clothes, new questions, all no's
Time to go
Thanks again for the beautiful show

A beauty born in May
With eyes like September
Her smile's like June
Hair like November
Talks like August
Dances like April
Skin like March
Mind like December

I know that phone number all too well
The burn of metal all to well
Your speedy driving
Knowing something is so very wrong
I know your yelling like a witches spell
So loud and there's a dinging in my head, a bell
October has it out for me
Get your drinks and your music,
I'm hiding under the covers

Drive me off a cliff
Drive me crazy
"Forever and ever"
LA apartments made me
Make me laugh
Make me cry
And when the news goes around,
You'll ask yourself why
Tell me a story
Tell me a lie
It's what you're best at,
And I always catch em
But for a minute I believe
Every ******* time

"What happened to you guys after the party last night?"
"Oh, sorry James, we just had to deal with some....business"

Don't look at me
Don't touch me
No, you can't stop me
You're never gonna stop me
I just want my seven minutes in heaven
And to overdose with Pete Wentz
1:30 looks so sad on an electric clock
You looked so hard going up the front walk
You used to bend me back
Till I squealed, stop it  
Your cologne washed out of my hair
And when you talk about World War Two
And special oil rings
I bet she doesn't even care

And I am so drunk
Even a mile away, I know your face
Holding her hand
Never thought you'd come out
To party, boy
Why for her, and not me?
I love that black jacket
Sophie's throwin up, I gotta run
Have fun

Cops came three nights ago
I was being...... bad
Haha, so bad
Tried to leave, and momma hit me
So I layed on my bed
Turned on Degrassi
Feelin so much like Darcy
And she's crying into the phone
"She's out of control!"
And Officer whatever the ****
Came in my room
"Miss, this is enough"
Haha, you're dumb
It's never enough
Ill never have enough
"Have you seen this show? It's really good"
"Your mom says you've lost it. Have you gone crazy?"
"Mm, I think so."

Feel like ****, and they say I'm the ****
Like Calli, what's up? Come hit this
And mommy and dad aren't together anymore
So now when she looks at me she just sees a broken promise
And I love that walked out the door
Mornings aren't fresh anymore
At least Fridays are more exciting than before
What do you do when they don't get you?
If wonderland was real, you know where I'd be
Maybe it is
Guess I don't have the right eyes to see
And I feel like I'm crazy
Ill have something in my hand
And the next second it's gone,
Right into thin air
My lungs must hate me
I know my liver does
And this boy just loves me
But he's not the one I want
And my writing isn't as good as it used to be
Ever since he slipped from me
I hate this poem
Whatever

"Girl, I can't wait to get our apartment. Only a couple more years."
"**** yeah. It'll have purple walls with our paintings on them, and our mattresses will be on the floor."
"Yes! And we'll have our bongs on the living room coffee table, and a stereo system and a velvet couch."
"And let's get little kittens!"
"Hell yeah baby girl, kittens rock."

The worst fear of a poet
Is that the reader will not understand
And I am terrified

Bike videos, you love em so
And we'd sit on the couch
Right across the street, you and me
And last year surreal
Your eyes never looked so different
So blue, blueboy
What happened to your voice?
My brown boots
I could never say no to you
Drinking four lokos on the carpet
Kissin in the toolshed
I remember those tall tall sunflowers
They died and took you with them
****, so sunny back then

"So how are you feeling"

"Okay, alright"

"Tell me why you're here"

"They don't see it like me"

"They don't see what like you?"

"I don't know, things"

"Like what types of things?"

"Like how late at night when I'm writing, little bunnies and birds come out of my walls to be warm and help me"

"That's very interesting, Calli. So tell me, do you have any difficulty swallowing pills?"

If you asked how it sounded
"Like glass breaking, baby"
"It's cutting my lips, my tongue"
You'd think by now I would've had enough
It's never enough
We both know better
But honey if you ever got lost,
I'd ride the telephone wires to you

One line
One time
My baby girl is such a dime

A failed math test
Meaning no but saying yes
The folded part on a fruit roll up
You're my smoke, but I've given up
A coffee grinder
Bathtub spider
It smells like donuts at four a.m.

One loves his bike, the other has a car
Neither one gets very far
I hope it feels nice wherever he is
Because today was the first day we really had wind
Meet me in the alley right before three
My favorite boy still won't party with me

A match was lit
Just to make it hot in here
But the curtains caught
And burst into flames
And the carpet
What a shame
Poured bucket after bucket
But you loved it, you loved it
Kept blowing on it, on it
Now the bed is on fire
And my head is on fire
And you're a ******* liar
And I'm so so tired
What a shame,
This flickering flame

For the love of god
And the adderall
And the after- all
Don't jump, let yourself fall
Take a risk, a ****-it kiss
These are the nights I'm gonna miss
I hope your eyes stay
As green as they are tonight
You always put up a fight  
And baby, I'll always do it best

I
hope
she's
worth
it

Open the door before it pours
I don't even know you anymore
There are different shades of green
You've gone through them all
A kiss goodbye, not tonight
Turn the radio up
Don't wanna hear your noise
I can't remember what about this song
I ever liked
I can't remember what about this high
I ever liked

It starts snowing in your room
Soaking the carpet, your socks
The sound you hear isn't pumping blood
It's a tin cup falling
Waking up with a sore throat
And the covers ripped off
Tossing and turning, tossing some more
Toss October right out the door
Erase the words, erase your mind
I go back there all the time
All I have is a memory
Of her laughing through the screen door
Something you said
You did it again
Baby, she's got dark eyes like me
If only she knew what my pair have seen

Numbers on the back of your hand
A metal mental breakdown
"I go to bakeries all day long, there's a lack of sweetness in my life"
And the nights get colder and colder
Bodies get hotter and hotter
The full moon is never as exciting as the last one
Past one, almost two
Three, four, five, find something to do
Call the boys, call your girls
Sunday is funday, and Thursdays are my Fridays
Inhale fast to make it last
This is the best part of the song

No windows, no doors
She's passed out on the floor
Black nails, red toes
Sick from drinking the night before
And the room is on fire
As she's fixing her hair
He doesn't care
Kisses and blisters
Do you even miss her?
Another cut, another scrape
It all bleeds the same
Shut up when I turn the radio up
Just wait till December when your hair is longer
And aches turn to rain
It'll all wash away

You are my soda bubbles
And, I love you
So sweet, you fizzle down
My tongue, my throat, around
Say goodbye to loverboy
He is okay
You are okay
Yay

Sugar shock
An after-credit song
Whatever, don't stop
I miss my sisters
I hate choir kids

**** boy in the courthouse
Dark jeans, button down
Green eyes scannin round
Talking like a king now
And they don't know ****,
But here you are again
Cause you saw your boy Blake
Elmwood beat the **** outta him
So now you gotta deal, cause you saw it all happen
Battle after battle, baby you're the baddest
So **** are your veins when you're at your maddest
Sad boy, dab boy
I'm your glass doll toy
Keep bein a mystery,
I love this part of the story

Gina and Dru, the perfect two
Killed a boy named Beau then went on the move
Maybe its sick, maybe its wrong
But for Dru, that Beau hurt his Gina, and love is **** strong
Pinned her down cryin, made her take it
Then those two lovers came back, as it went
Gina brought a tire iron to his head
And Dru was in shock, but wasted no time then
Got in his truck, set for a man named Carl
That new his brother Jaime, behind bars now
They ran and they ran, those two kids man,
But one day Dru passed out, and Gina was hurt again
So while her baby slept, dreaming of her
She ran the bath water hot, didn't care if it hurt
Slit her wrists snip snip, just like that, the end
And Dru woke up and found her, in that water running red
Yelled at the abandoned walls, "You took it all!"
Knees too weak, he begins to fall
Takes the knife from his girl, his entire ******* world
Slit his throat so again he could hold her
They dreamt of treehouses, bad dogs, forever
But in the end, after it all
Gina and Dru are still together

City lights, city lights
Blink your bulbs, kiss me goodnight
You're my only hope when the moon comes out
Line the highway, show me the town
Pick me up, spin my skirt around
The Sunset Strip is scary, but it knows me
Blinking honking flashing shouting
Ever since I was a little baby
Rocked in the arms of the LA traffic
Mulholland Drive, my crib electric
**** your god, I got neon signs
And they look me in my giant pupils
"Cali girl, it's alright"

We party, we rage, ain't it all so great?
So much fun, so above
But now Sugey and Seb, they're both dead
And pretty Savannah is in a hospital bed
Wires and tubes, I think of me and you
How it coulda been us, under an unforgiving moon
The car on fire, hot with teen desire
To run around, don't come down
All alone all together in a masked- up city
But this time the morning after is way worse than ******
"You and me Soph, we got invited there"
And I had put on mascara and done my hair
So crazy, so surreal
And it happened so quick
Now pretty party-queen Savannah?
She has to live with it

LA, Hollywood, I'm in love
Malibu, Palm Springs, what a rush
Santa Monica, girl you got it all
Glass table girls, "gimme a twirl"
NoHo, Big Bear, Cambria
Taste the sun, look at the view
The moon will teach you what to do
Flip that hair, we get down anywhere
Everywhere, look over there
In your underwear, wine on the stairs
Baby chill, who cares

It's dark
I... can't.. I can't see
And the walls talk
And say its not worth it
It's so not worth it
I wish I knew what happened
After you breathe, say goodbye
And they ask me why
Because the moon isn't as bright
And he doesn't look at me the same
And the summer was such a hot one
"You're gonna burn up, girl"
Oh please, please
Burn me up
Backed into a corner, she cries
They get mad when she catches their lies
Behind her back, ratta tat tat
Metal on wood, it hurts more than it should
Where to go, what to do
Up at 4am, lashes wet and thick as glue
So hot your sheets are soaked through
I want to do it
But I don't want it to hurt
But sticking around
Would be even worse

You made me a woman
Now I'm left with the mess
Do bad girls get happy endings,
When the story goes like this?
Will it go?
It's been a long year of you, baby
What I need to do, I can't do
Headsick, heartache
I'm sorry, my mistake

I know I'm so sick
(so sick baby)
Because it hurts between my eyes
And my lips feel hot
Lost my bag, my pipe, my drugs
My makeup, my phone, the love
Fifty calls, gotta replace it all
No pills to fill and numb me
This **** all ***** just help me
Drink it down, you're a feather now
Sleep well
(Or not at all)

Dads first girl after mom
Was a painter named Charlotte
Shari for short, like her blonde hair
That's how she wore it
She had a tattoo of a dragon,
And liked pink orchids
And her mom had bonzai trees
Around the garden
She let me cut out pictures of bears
And glue them to cardboard, daisies in my hair
Daddy and Shari broke up when I was 9
Doesn't last long for a druggie and his dime
I still hear her slippers
On the stairs, up and down
Charlotte The Painter is a doctor now

It always hurts worse
When you use a dull blade
And I come home smelling
Like liquor and rain

No immunity
Cherry tree, cherry tree
Always sweet to me
I'm sorry I can't squeeze back
My girlfriend smile lacks
Don't turn the melody off
The concert, fun but rough
And I can't hear anymore

My poems about you do the best
Today you pulled up on the string
My yo yo string
Up, up I went
Like a child's toy, butterfly
This song makes me cry
And happy endings are so boring
Maybe that's why

Babyiloveyouandbabyimsorryitdoesnthavetobesohardwedonthavetofight­andbemadandsaythingstoourfriendsandfuckthisupwecanbehappyandhigha­ndinlovebelievemewhenIsayIloveyoumorethanthemoonandipromiseillmak­eyouproud.wecouldbesohappyicouldmakeyoufeelsoinsaneandamazingjust­letmeshowyou

My hair feels like spiders
Do you ever bite her?
I walked in,
You walked out
Feel it now?

If you asked how it felt
"Like skateboard sandpaper, baby"
"Like it's rubbing my legs, my throat"
You don't know
I'm saying goodnight
But sugar if you got shot,
I'd run across Los Angeles to you

Drunk, ****** up
Stumbling through the house
Giggling now, trying to find the light
I'm sorry we woke you up
Woulda been passed out all night
And I know you never sleep
You can't, I know, trust me
And I'm always bringing my girls over
****, you've even got a collection
Of bobby pins
And I broke your downstem
And I'm always passing out in your bathroom
"God ****** Calli, what am I gonna do with you?"
Always smokin your hash, taking dabs
You let me do it, because you know what we have.
You don't treat them like you treat me
I'm invincible
I can kiss you and hit you and pull you and push you
Laugh and crash and cry and trash
So shut up, you know what's up
Because in the sheets and against the wall
I'm a bonfire, she's just a match
The way I heat you up makes up for all the crap
When you're saying something sick and I'm so enthralled
The way I nod my head because I get what you said
And I care and I want to hear more
It's different and we get it
Why won't you just admit it?
Haha, nevermind
That look says it all

Look at you boy, you're a trend!
Kiss me, **** me
I love it when
Bam bam
As good as you can gets better every time
"I wish I wasn't such a loverboy"
What was that?
Tell me again

I will see you
And all will be still
You'll be standing at the end of the pier
Looking at the water
I will run to you
Your name tastes so sweet
And we will go

I'm digging it real deep
Cutting it real close
I use all real names, nobody knows
But if they read all the things I wrote
They'd burn me at the stake
A shitshow earthquake
See, you think it's poetry
It is, for you and me
But they would just look and see
Their secrets and names
Splattered all over the page
Like blood from a gun shot at point blank range
And all the things they thought I didn't know
I never told, I wrote it out
Better to do it here than to open my mouth
Dressed to ****
I'm calling you out, look fast now
Noel and Sophie, my glass table girls
B and R and J and M
I'm sparing you, not like you did
Mommy and Daddy and the man down the street
I'm shouting through the glass!
Can you ******* hear me?!

What the hell is wrong?
What do you think I'm on?
I'd prefer a downer,
And that you forget about her
My hair is longer and golder
I look like a mermaid when it falls over your shoulder
My waist is small, I could give it all
A bad baby with an always broken heart
When you tell your stories I listen to every word
And I love your shampoo and your sadness
And you know how to read the method to my madness
And how to talk me down when I'm freakin out above this
And all the weird things you do, I do too
Since I was a little girl I didn't think I'd find it
A shooting star that knows how to rocket
Rock it, rock it, dance with me
Smarter than Miranda, prettier than Maddy
Darker than Zoe, sweeter than Bella
And I know it's true cause you always want more
I never get old, you never get bored
Make the smart decision boy, you're a genius
Here's a quarter and a scratch off ticket
Ill be under the first layer
You'll know when you see it

"My heart beats so strong, you can see it through my shirt"
I wanna feel that beat moving up my skirt
And my body with my skin
Tingling
Pace, pace, back and forth
"Your heart feels fine girl, no worries, what's the worth?"
A big strong boy with Polaris eyes
I can feel your body tense
Thinking about mine
Beat em up baby, there you go
I'm sorry I woke you up last night
And the night before
Always bringin my girls, what a world
In your room  
It's the safe place
To come back and party
When babygirl is throwin up,
And I need to feel okay
You just let me do it, go with it, always
I know when you're mad, when it hurts,
You press up against the couch and the clouds come down
From their place in the sky,
Of your eyes, they pour
Harder and harder, now my hips are sore
Cause I told you more, I told you "more!"
And when you moan its like a lions roar
You're the king of here, breathing in my ear
Down my neck in the bed
You taught me everything I know
How to control a boy, destroy his soul
But you're a catch, got it bad
Think I finally met my match
Now when I'm making em shake
I'm thinkin of your hands
Coulda never been such a good lover
Such a good sucker and *** shaker
Such a "Please don't go baby, come back, *******!"
I wouldn't have learned how to **** around  
If it hadn't been for you, tuts

Sophie this is for you
Never met a girl as wild as me
I know you know it too
A heavy tolerance to match mine
The same devious brown eyes
Sit next to me, it'll be okay

Got sent away then
Few weeks into May when
Summer started in like five days and
I didn't believe her
Words soaked in sweetener
I took it lightly
Until I stopped getting chimes from her

Hey Calli, it's Sophie
I'm leavin today at two
I hope ill get a letter from you
Don't back down
Run that mouth
Be as crazy as you are when I'm around
Ill be back at the end of August
I promise

A knife that you can sing into
A prison cell with a pretty view
A circus show that makes you cry
Looking up to a hot pink sky
Mr. Officer is rolling a blunt
A bunny rabbit that kills and hunts
A talk show host with nothing to say
100 degrees on a rainy day
A corner baby that pays to ****
A step mother that loves you a lot
A man in an alley that just says hello
Printing directions with nowhere to go

Play pool like you do
With me tippin over next to you
Grab me by my jeans, in your T, unsweet
Kiss me with your whiskey
I know that you miss me
In a cloud of smoke, we'll go up
I get the king chair
With the quilt showing off my hair
In the middle of the room
Everything in view
Metal walls, I have it all
Sound system and the air kissin
The lights inside keep it lookin like my favorite season
Year round, won't turn down
My favorite place on this side of town
In the way back past the gate
A swing hangin from the prettiest tree I've ever seen
How I love to play

Birds and bees
Apple trees
Brand new bed full of you and me
Things that aren't there that I always see
Favorite album ever made
Blink 182 is always played
In my room, what a pretty view
If you like gates and walls that move
Picture frames that have seen too much
I never sleep, come in if you want
He's still never seen where I go crazy
But his room watched me grow up
Not very smoothly, the process ******
But it ****** in a way that was so much fun
The bunnies and squirrels will come out and play
Liquor all night, coffee all day
All the boys and girls say "Hey!"

This sweat isn't for you
Got a whole lot of lyin to do
I mean thanks for the bottle,  I like it I do
It'll really be good when the boys roll through
When it slides down my throat
When it spills on the floor
When the scent of cinnamon slips out the door
What? Did you think we'd drink it together?
I like it much better when 'forever' is 'fornever'
Dinner? With you? Sure I'd love to
Take me out and show me around
Ill get high after so I won't come down
Ill be a polite lady just for you
But only if you get me a bottle
Or two