Caleb Azumah Nelson: Favorites

Apr 2013 Caleb Azumah Nelson

Shattered

Apr 2013 Caleb Azumah Nelson

Ashlyn Kriegel

Sometimes,
Sometimes you fall completely into pieces
And you feel broken in every way possible,
But not because you are sad,
Not because the world let you down,
Because you feel completely alive
And in love with
Something, someone, a place
So much that you can't hold yourself together.
Sometimes you feel shattered
After discovering what you are most passionate about:
You are consumed and want to be filled to the brim
With everything involving who you are,
You want to concentrate every fiber of your being
To your passion.
Being broken isn't always bad,
Sometimes, it's where you find your secret treasures.

Apr 2013 Caleb Azumah Nelson

Playing with your Hair

Apr 2013 Caleb Azumah Nelson

R

Playing with your Hair

As You lay on me
I sigh
Cause
Even though playing with your hair
Is fun,
It's not enough.
I mean,
I desire to be with you
I mean,
be with you.
Not just talk to you and
Make silly jokes
But
To kiss your lips while you're laughing
And
To hold your hand while reading my favorite book.
To hear you sing even when you think you sound funny
And to tell you that you look beautiful over and over
Again.

Apr 2013 Caleb Azumah Nelson

I am

Apr 2013 Caleb Azumah Nelson

Raymond Johnson

I am

I am.
I am fish and brick and sun and moon and sky and earth and river and forest and thunder and storm and silence.
I am light and dark and blood and sand and sinew and mud and bone and fear and loathing.
I am ambition and broken trust and betrayal and broken promises.
I am triumph and failure and love and loss.
I am the summer breeze and the arctic blizzard, I am the waves crashing upon the shore and the sunlight warming the lizards on the rocks.
I am the stars that shine in the night sky and the nebulae being born past the purview of your eyes.
I am the vast nothingness of space and the infinitesmal denseness of singularity.
I am the space between heartbeats and the silence between words.
I am the oneness of all things, the internal nirvana, the consciousness of the universe and its fleshy manifestation.
I am good.
I am evil.
I am god.
I am me.
I am you.
I am we.
I am.

Apr 2013 Caleb Azumah Nelson

Chemical Me

Apr 2013 Caleb Azumah Nelson

Daniel Magner

Chemical Me

She told me
I reminded her of LSD.
I always changed her world
but it was guaranteed that
I would leave.

Apr 2013 Caleb Azumah Nelson

E and I

Apr 2013 Caleb Azumah Nelson

Timothy Brown

E and I

I came to this place on two broken
Knees.
Six words said: Can I have a drink
Please.
They are not that expen-
seive
I believe I can deny my carnal
Needs
I know even wizards can
Bleed
Profusely some Gods speak languages
Falsely.
And certain people speak but stare
Blankly.
Layman's terms: the majority is
Lying

Apr 2013 Caleb Azumah Nelson

cast another

Apr 2013 Caleb Azumah Nelson

Lyra Brown

cast another

sometimes I throw pennies
in the space where you used
to fill my heart
I listen to its hollow echo
the wish is always the same

all this time and I still don't know
why I didn't let you love me
perhaps it was because
we were partners in creativity
and I am by nature a restrictive
girl always cutting things off
so that they don't ruin each other
I always do this as if to save myself
just in case I find something
better
(this is called fear)

because too many things have bled together
inside and outside
of me
like permanent watercolours on a tablecloth,
and I've learned to stop the painting
from being finished before
I ruin everything again
stains like this have been stuck
inside of me
ever since the moment I realized
you weren't coming back
to try and love me again

all this time and I still don't know
why I didn't let you love me
tonight I cast another penny
in the space where you used to fill my heart
now I know I was afraid of you
now I know that fear has been living inside of me
ever since the moment I realized
you weren't coming back
to try again

and that moment
is right
now.

the wish is always the same.

Apr 2013 Caleb Azumah Nelson

I'm gone (a poem about education)

Apr 2013 Caleb Azumah Nelson

Kim

I'm gone (a poem about education)

In that precise moment
Locked in a hot sweaty tedious classroom
the words stopped making sense and my thoughts took control
In the middle of a Sociales class is when I realized…

I am wasting my life, it is dripping through my fingers
I am wasting my time, with a useless lesson after other,
I am wasting my energy, (the little I have left)
I am wasting it, and the hours that pass won’t come back

It surprises me how can no one realize
the direct and -not even trying to be hidden- brainwashing
They say “think outside the box” but here’s what outside the box should be.
And no one cares, and no one tries, if not, everyone solemnly obeys.

I try to raise my voice but I’m shush
I try to express an alternative opinion but I’m shush
I try to fit, but I can’t and once again I’m sent to shush.
I try to cry for help, but no one comes.

I spend my nights working, taking another sip
in my ever lasting coffee,
writing essays, solving equations, answering questions
I won’t sleep, there’s no time for that, I need to finish

But for what? I finish my work, I get the highest grades
But for what? What’s the point of it? What do I get in return?
No sleep, another headache, and tons of papers to finish due tomorrow.
That’s all, that’s what I’m supposed to be, another efficient machine.

And no one cares if you cry or yell,
if you cut or punch, no one cares,
But if you finish your work, if you write the 2000 words.
Then it’s alright, because you are doing what you are supposed to do.

Because no one cares if you **** yourself,
they will care when they see your motionless body, when there’s nothing left to do.
Then they care, and the 2000 words don’t matter anymore
Because you are already gone.

Apr 2013 Caleb Azumah Nelson

The wall

Apr 2013 Caleb Azumah Nelson

Kim

The wall

There's a wall in between
   You                             and                                   I
           a barrier made of unspoken words
      and misinterpreted gestures,
           where loves drips through the cracks
            of a broken, yet solid barrier

         Where tears prevail and like
          glue they stick the division in the middle of
        You                                   and                                    Me
            a set line between of the rest of the
         World                       and my untouchable and comfortable                 Innocence

There's a war in
two                                                                 sides
Between no one else than
Myself                              and                               Me
an internal fight that never ceases
A quiet war, with no more guns
that explosive words and untraceable wounds

Maybe that already set wall
is the one that encloses myself
in my own private space

Alone
I will remain,
because no one else, the barriers
dares to even try to surpass.

There's too many cracks to climb
it's a
                        risky
                                                      fall
to an unbearable pain
a slow transition death
that will drive you insane

Do you dare?                                                               Do you dare
to try to pass the wall and reach
to my troubled soul?
                                                    Get to know my                            curious mind
instead of only
my body                        climb,
                                       try to reach to my real                       inside
for more than
lust and desire
teach me, teach me
what love really is.

And maybe the war will end
and the walls will be finally destroyed
Just try to get inside.
   Meanwhile the door I'll try to find.

Apr 2013 Caleb Azumah Nelson

Sadness is Overwhelming

Apr 2013 Caleb Azumah Nelson

Becca Bruno

Sadness is Overwhelming

It's late, and I'm sad. I've been crying, I've been thinking.
If I just disappeared, who would miss me? Who would notice? Who would try to find me?
I can't determine my death, but fate can.
Unless I tamper with my destiny, and make it what I want it to be.
I could easily **** myself, without pain, or with it.
I want to fall asleep, dream of a perfect world, and never wake up.
I could easily find a knife, or a razor, I could bleed out.
I could overdose on painkillers, because I have them right at my fingertips.
I could drown, or hang myself, or shoot myself.
I could jump off a bridge, or a building.
I could do all of this, and I do consider it, but I could never fulfill it.
The thought of death calms me, my soul wouldn't inhabit the body I have now.
I'd be free, free from reality, and worries.
I wouldn't carry this life on, it would just end.
Who would it effect? Who would finally acknowledge who I am?
People who once hated me, or talked **** about me, would all of a sudden care.
They would say, "what a shame, she was so beautiful."
People lie, they're careless, thinking words don't hurt.
They have no idea what I go through, what I think about, what I want to do.
I couldn't leave my mom, she's holding me back.
I wouldn't live for anyone else.
If I died, I would be remembered, but remembered as a girl who was too weak and broken to live,
too sad to move forward.
People would move on, and I'd be pushed to the back of their minds.
If I could simply die without anyone knowing, I wouldn't be here now.